Tahoeeee

So, Tahoe was pretty damn fun. I didn't do anything really, but I'm planning on it the next time I go back, which is on Thursday. Stan's mom invited me to go. So yea, I'm going. When me and Stan went, we just chilled pretty much. Went to the skating rink. I actually skated even though my left skate felt weird. Then Reno. I wanted to elope but he said no. It'd be pretty cool if we came back and just eloped. So in Reno we just went to Circus Circus. That was pretty fun. Then the drive home. Then he lied. Then we ko'ed and he woke me up to leave so I was even more pissed. Jerk. Omgah, I dislike his face sometimes. Like seriously.

I was off today, but I work again 2m and Wednesday. I love to open. That's my favorite thing to do. Closing sucks. Um, I gotta tell them I can't work Sunday since I'm going to Cirque de Soilel or however your spell that, thanks to Nick. And then 2m after work I gotta run over to Sports Authority to pick up snow pants. Gotta get more money from the parents.

I've decided to talk to Stan a/b going to Disneyland for our two year. Thing is we can train it w/h will take a/b 10 hours or drive which can take seven. Driving would be cheaper, but it'll be more hectic on our bodies. I'll talk to him a/b it Wednesday. Should I wait until then to get the snow pants too ? I prolly should b/c I'll have more monies then. Sorry, back to Disneyland. I hope he agrees to this. It'll be fun. Yay, Valennersary.

So like.. yea.

Today didn't turn out that bad. Um, I was JIPPED on my presents. I got THREE things. And one of them I can't use properly, so I gotta be janky with it. Normally there are TONS and TONS of presents under that tree for me and Joi. But for some reason we were skipped this year. We didn't get shit. I got stickers, that only have one n so I can't spell my name so I gotta use a u and be ghetto. I got ipod speakers that I'd use if I had my ipod. And I got chapstick. Yay me. Joi got the same chapstick and ipod speakers. Then she got a few more things. I stayed at Auntie Sweetie's a lot b/c I wanted to help and organize the presents for everybody else, in the HOPE that I'd get something more.. but there wasn't anything. The Twins got hella shit. And so did Soyhala, Butu, and BJ. Then I ate over there. The dinner this year wasn't even all that good. It was bland. There wasn't any type of salad. Or sweets. This was the worst Christmas. Not just b/c of the presents, but b/c of everything else. The mood was different. Wasn't the same.

I love Mona. She just went through something dramatic, and she STILL is going strong. Go on girl. I got ya back like a heavy duty bra strap.

2m is the Tahoe trip. Even though it's not really a trip. It's a one day thing. Kinna quick. Go up there, do one activity, then bounce. I'm packing HELLA shit though. I should bring a blanket just in case. I'm really scared of being stranded out there. Like a road will close. That'll just suck major balls. But I have hella snacks to last if that does happen. And I got alla monies from dad. Ahahaha.

So yea. I guess that's a short blog. Merry Christmas all.

Tis the season

I wish it was though. I'm not in the Christmas spirit at all. I realized a while ago that Christmas wasn't gonna be the same. I think my last real Christmas was when I got my PS2. When mom used to give me and Joi two big red bins FULL of presents. And our main present would be on the outside of our bins. I don't remember when that was or how old I was, but that was the last real Christmas that I can remember. Now Christmas is different. Nobody is together. Nobody brings out the spirit. We don't even put out our fake Christmas tree. I should get up and do something today, but there isn't anything. I'm just so bummed that I'm gonna be home by myself for the next two days doing nothing. :(

I need to google where the closet Shane Co is b/c a diamond fell off the necklace Stan gave me and it needs to be replaced. Ugh. I should just make him take it back.

I'm hungry. But we have nothing real to eat. Maybe I'll order some Chinese. I haven't had that in awhile. Hmm..

*Sigh

Ghetto, I almost typed sign. Ahahaha.

So, my party was okay. I realized I was a dumbass and screwed up my whole day and then I'm not gonna do what I did anymore. I cried lots over that mistake. Then Stan fixed it I guess and made it better. So, we check in to our hotel, and it's GHETTO. The lights in the bathroom had to be rigged. Ahaha. And the button was missing from our jacuzzi. Then we had to rush home for me to get my hair done. Omgah, it's not even all that fancy like I was expecting. But whatever. We then went to Chilli's. Omgah, those fuckers fucked up my night even more. I was SOO frustrated a/b the table situation. But then a million people didn't show up so it wasn't even all that bad. Then me and Stan had to go to Baskin Robin to pick up the cake. It was a cute cake. I loved it. Then Pump It Up. It was fun, but VERY tiring. My goodness. Ahahaha. Then cake and ice cream and present time. I got a wallet and a bag and pajamas. Mom gave me a bag too. So now I have TWO black bags. Stan gave me a necklace. I gotta take it back to Shane Co. though b/c a diamond already fell off. It's really pretty. I love it. So then we're at the hotel in the jacuzzi. I won't go in to details but it was amazing. Then we snuggled and fell asleep. Woke up at 5:30 for round 2. Then he left me around 7:10. I tried to fall back asleep but Stan texted me. And by the time he was in formations I was s'posed to be getting up. So I didn't get that much sleep.

Work I fucked up. Ehh. I'm over the rink, def not going back next season. I'm looking really hard for something else though. I will find something. I know I will.

Today.. isn't the best actual birthday. All I wanted to do was sleep in. But couldn't. I'm not doing shit else today for anybody. I'm feeling kinna fuck the world. Jess canceled our lunch. So now I'm really stuck in the house. I wanted to go down and get my check from the rink, but since I'm not dressed and prolly won't be getting dressed for awhile, who the hell cares ? I'm so.. not feeling happy. My boyfriend woke me up this morning as usual and didn't say happy birthday. Couldn't sleep in. My so called best friend isn't really living up to that title. So yea. I really don't care a/b today right now. Maybe it'll get better.
-Today didn't get better. I really don't know why nobody made my day. It sucked. Seriously. I did nothing. Got nothing. People suck. So yea. Thanks to the world for making my day such a fuckin' shitty one.

2m I'm s'posed to be with the girls. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I'm not feelin' too hot right now to even think a/b it. I do know that I gotta spend some time w/ Fave b/c we have that appt to take care of. I gotta be up early again 2m. And then I work on Wednesday. So I won't get to sleep in until Thursday, if that. And Friday is Christmas. I'm not gonna get anything that I ask for, so why bother there ? My highlight is gonna come from the trip to the snow with my boyfriend. Even though we're not gonna stay there. Gonna drive up there, do nothing, drive back, sleep at my house. I gotta call that day in I guess.

I hate being down, but that's how I feel. I hate it, but whatever.

Finally.

Today is the day of my paaaaaaaaaaaartaaaayyyyy. Finally ! I'm soo happy. I get to figure out what the hell Stan got me. I'm so anxious. I gotta shower and get ready for my long ass day. I need Stan to go to Baskin Robin's and see if we can pick up the cake after Chilli's since it's ice cream cake and I don't want it to melt. That's just gonna be a bit outta the way, but there is an exit over there. I also gotta pack for tonight and work 2m. I think it SUCKS that I have to open the day after my party, but whatever. They better not expect me to work Monday either. I'm giving up on a few people even coming today for my party. That works better for me. I wish I would've gotten a smaller cake though. More of my familia should come, but ehh. I'm seriously excited. I can't wait until I'm there tonight. When alla eyes are on me. Yay. I'll be reposting as soon as I figure out the gift. Shower time ! Well, after Teen Mom.

My brain hurts

2m is kinna a big day. I have to go to the new hair shop. I'm the test dummy. I'm going by myself. I'm kinna sad a/b that. If I don't like it, what should I do ? Smile and be happy ? I just want it to be nice. Esp since my birthday is coming up. I want to feel pretty. If it doesn't come out nice, I'm just gonna stop her and let her know I'm not paying her.

I've been trying to pick my brain and figure out what the hell I'm getting from Stan. I know for Christmas he's taking me to the snow. I figured that once he said that we'll go, ect. And then we were talking a/b it for awhile, and he compared it to my Valennersary gift. That's pretty obvious to me. But my birthday gift, I have no idea what it could. I want it to be something. I REALLY want it to be this ONE thing, but I know it's not. Or it could be. I should stop trying to pick my brain and just let whatever it is happen. I just don't wanna be surprised if it is what I think it is. What's throwing me off is how he said showing it is also important. Ugh. But the he said that it could be used daily. Not that is has to be used daily. Soo.. wtf ? If it's what I want it to be, I'll be the happiest person ever. But if it's not.. it better be something really damn good. Esp since I'm spoiling the HELL outta him this Christmas. Two pair of shoes (Nike 6.0's and Jordans) and a watch. So yea. I used alla what I had on him. I still gotta find something for my bff/sister. Ugh. I just want to get her something different. But maybe I just won't. I'll get her something special and she'll be okay with it.

So, work. I'm still hunting. I applied all over and then some. I decided to even go with internships for interior design, even if they are unpaid. It'll give me experience. Idk why I'm still doing interior design. I'm having another change of heart. But we'll see what happens this semester. I think Spring Semesters are always easier for me than Fall ones. I hope I do well. I wanna be here one more year. One, and that's it. Maybe two, depending on classes.

I'm tired of being on the comp. There seriously isn't anything to do anymore. I loved menginspired's comic a/b this topic. Check your social networks, blog, email. Then what ? You do it all over again. Ahahaha.

:(

I'm still sad. I'm frustrated by the job thing. The only thing that keeps making me happy is knowing my party is literally around the corner. I'm thinking of it as a way to end the year and to celebrate beating finals.

I've decided not to go to Geo. There seriously isn't a point. I'll retake the class. Both of them. Maybe with different teacher for the lab though. And I'll actually concentrate for those quizzes.

I don't want to work this upcoming week. I only want to open, but I have finals. And that means no opening. But since I'm skipping a few, maybe I can. We'll see.

I have a speech appointment on Tuesday. Ugh, I really don't wanna go to that. And a hair appt on Wednesday with the new lady on Fillmore. Hmm, we'll see how that goes. I hope it comes out nice.

I'm not gonna stop hunting.

I have a speech final 2m. I know I'll do pretty well on that.

Man, my life sucks.

So, I don't think my life is going too well right now. I've applied for jobs all over. I applied to job at ROCK. And if I didn't get that job, then I feel like there is no hope. It's not fair. I feeling so down in the dumps over this. Like, I need a really big ego boost.

I should do some retail therapy. But it's not even gonna help. I'm being super selfish for alla money I spend. I'm trying to do what I can to get the best valennersary gift for my wonderful boyfriend. Hopefully I can still pull it off. It not, I'm gonna have to settle for something else. More lowkey and cheap. Which is a disappointment to me b/c Stan deserves the best.

I can't go to UCBE b/c they won't certify me until I get my BA. And that means going to San Jose since SFSU is so fucked up. Which means more time at City. Now I'm seriously buckling down. There's nothing left to it. I wanna be done with this.

The talks and moves are somewhat happening for Stan to get his own place. My goal was to have a job so I could move in with him. Since that obviously isn't gonna happen anytime soon, Idk what I should do. Tap into savings ? I'm really sick of this house. I'm ABUSED. Jazminn go and do whatever, but it doesn't matter if I'm busy. Or tired. Joi gets to be leisurely all day, and Jazminn must work her ass off. My mom enables Joi to be lazy, and that pisses me off more than anything. Think it's time I go back ? Yea, me too.

It's been soo cold lately. All I wanna do is stay in bed and be warm. But I gotta get up and get out and make whatever moves I can. I'm struggling with these decisions I gotta make. I know life's tough, but mine seems extra hard compared to everybody else. I seriously don't ask for a lot. I try really hard in everything I do. But whenever I REALLY want something, I get fucked in the ass, twice.

So, next week is finals week. I'm looking forward to the time off. I'm gonna make Joi walk. Stupid cunt. She pisses me off to the max sometimes. I'm contemplating going to the geo final. What for ? There's simply no use.

I work 2m. I'm glad I'm opening though. It makes the time go by a bit faster. And I really don't have to work as hard. Next week once alla kiddies are out I'm gonna be forced to open. Only am's for me. Ohh, I've also decided this is my last season. Unless I can't find a job and am desperate for one, I'm done with the rink. I've been played this season. Seriously. I was TOLD I'd be a cashier, but I haven't cashiered once, and with that being said, I'm not gonna do anything for as long as I can. It's bull on top of shit. C= I also open Sunday with Shanise. Know what that means ? C;

Saturday will mark one more week until my party. I'm almost done w/ everything. I just gotta book a room. I'm thinking the Ramada, but I gotta talk it over with my people's. I'm really excited a/b this party. I'm gonna have the time of my life. And then Monday there will be dinner and presents at Auntie Sweetie's house, hopefully.

Thursday will be the memorial for Oscar. I feel REALLY bad for not going to get my hair done that day. I should've. Maybe that could've changed the outcome of the day. I love him. Still. Present, not past.

I'm thinking a/b partying Friday before my bday, if there's anything happening. I'll drag Katt out with me. Ahahaha.

I got Christmas presents for everybody except mom. I wanna get something extra for Katt. She needs something else b/c she's been there for me this whole year. I'm bolo for something for her.

Ohh, CONGRATS TO THE LADY FALCONS BASKETBALL TEAM. Alla my new littles did pretty damn good. I'll be there next year to support 'Tuai. They made it to the playoffs, but started off poorly with Joi's retarded attitude, stupid punk. If they would've started stronger, they would've had more of chance. Joi just didn't want to win. I could see it in her eyes.

I wonder what everybody is getting me for my birthday ? I HATE surprises. Ugh.

Fuck.

Just FML. Seriously. I'm sick. There's NO time like right now where I needed you. And what happens ? Your family pops up. WTF ? I get you ONE full day a week. And now I get you on a fucking Sunday ? Fuck it. You just think it's okay. You don't see why I'm upset. It's so done. You need to be able to take initiative for these situations on your own. You knew I'd be upset. You know I only get you one day a week. You know how I get. Why do you gotta pull that, "I never win" shit ? That's unfair. You choose these fuckin' things. You did this to yourself. I'm just supposed to take it and not care, right ? Well sorry. I get upset b/c I do care. It's unfair to me, don't you think ? I'm just over this happening. I seriously think your parents do this shit on purpose. Not even your parents. Your mother. She's getting upset b/c she's losing you. And she's taking whatever time she can get outta you. Even if it's at my expense. And I'm sick of it. You guys didn't spend their last anniversary with them. And your dad's dad's birthday ? Really ? This did NOT happen last year. Or the year before that. So.. with that being said, of course I'm going to be upset. Whatever. I was gonna go out, but I don't even have the energy. I just think I'm gonna lay here. I'm done with this.

3 weeks!

Heyy, guess what ? There are EXACTLY three weeks until my 20th birthday. C= I'm finalizing my birthday plans. I SERIOUSLY hope everything turns out okay. Even if it's only a small amount of people, I am going to enjoy myself. I just gotta think of a place to go after. I wanna get a telly, but Idk where. I want a kinna spacious one b/c I know there will be a lot of people and I know a few people would be more than likely sleeping over.

So, I've been sick. Not like sneezing or whatever, but I've had NO appetite. My doctor said that he wants to remove the acid from my stomach. Idk what that means, but I hope it doesn't involve surgery. That would just suck.

I have a Russian test 2m, and I'm not really studying for it. I'm so blahh. And 2m Joi has a game and she's super stressing over it. She'll be fine. Go Moose.

Maybe I should job hunt. I'm so over the rink. I'm working like, two days a week. Wtf ? I'm not gonna be able to get ANYTHING I want for my boyfriend's valennersary gift. I guess that just means taking money and saving is smartly. No more spending crazy.

Since forever.

I haven't blogged since Monday. How sad is that ? I do have lots and lots to say.

Tuesday
So, I had a surprise interview this day. I was really excited a/b it. But I didn't get the job. Anyway, after taht, me and Katt went to go watch the Blind Side. It was a REALLY good movie. I'm recommending it to everybody. Had me tear up a bit.

Wednesday
I have got to stop treating this like Xanga when I use shift+enter for a single space return. Ahaha. Anyway, this was the last day of school before the break. It was EMPTY. I fell asleep in Russian since I didn't get enough sleep. Then I had to suffer through a speech from a guy that annoys the HELL outta me b/c he repeats everything he says like five times and his accent is super thick. Ugh. I had work that day. So I decided to drive to BART and catch BART. Did that, worked, whatever, came home.

Thursday
Happy Turkeyday everybody ! I worked this morning. It was cool though b/c I didn't really do anything. Then I had to leave early b/c Leonard came in early. So I went home, and waited around for the girls to come over. Katt came over first, which made me happy b/c I was STARVING. So then right as we were a/b to leave to take her over to her grandpa's house, Jess came. So we drove over there and dropped her off, and then me and Jess decided where to go for Black Friday shopping. We decided on Serramonte, which turns out to be a good choice. Katt came back over, and we eventually ko'ed for our early morning shopping.

Friday
Early Friday morning, (3 am) me and the girls woke up and got ready for our day. It wasn't even as bad as I expected. It just sucked b/c it was sprinkling, hard. So, our first stop was Kohl's. I had to get my boyfriend his gift, and Kohl's was the perfect place for it. I found what I wanted w/in seconds. Bought it, and we drove to the Targets. Since they both had lines, we decided to wait. Then we decided to check on Macy's, but they didn't open until 5. They didn't have much on sale either. So we went to the mall. Charlotte was open, but I didn't find anything. Then we checked on Wet Seal. They opened at 7, but it was like 5:30. We decided to grab some breakfast, finally. McDonald's. And it was sooo good. Then hit Wet Seal. I got stuff for my sister. I hope she likes it. Then we went to the Targets, to see if they had a teapot for mom. They weren't on sale, so we bounced. But we looked at socks, and I grabbed some. Which reminds me I STILL want to clean out my sock drawer. Anyway, we were done. Took everybody home, and relaxed for a bit. Showered, and Bunny came over. We chilled, then we went.. to eat I believe. I don't think today had an activity. Then Nick's house. Then back to my house and we ko'ed. He actually slept over. I kept him. Yay !

Saturday
Hmm, woke up, sexytime. Then he left so he could check in with his family. I slept more, got ready. He came back, I did his laundry, and we went to the rink. I ATE it. I have a bruise on my knee. It sucked. And then I was sad. Ahahaha. We then rolled over to Red Lobster. Yum. Hella food, hardly even touched it. I've had a BIG loss in appetite. :( Then we hit Petco to grab stuff for our pets, then BevMo to get mom her draank, then Bunny had to go to Chase. Then he dropped me off, and we snuggled for a bit.

Today
No major plans. Just doing homework. Cleaning. Emailing some people for random info. My tum tum hurts. I'm not hungry, and I have to pee.

It was super nice spending that much amount of time with my boyfriend. I really felt like I mattered for once. Ahh, I love him.

"It IS Monday, isn't it?"

So, I didn't realize it was Monday until a/b 5:30pm today. Today just felt so long. It seemed like a Wednesday, at least. I did so much today. First of all, I had to take the Benz today b/c dad was getting my car smogged so he can get it registered. I had thought the plan was for dad to take the kids to school. But no, that didn't happen. I wound up taking them, and Joi was moving slow, so I was late. And b/c of that, there was no parking. Well, there was parking if I was in Putt Putt, but not in the big ass Benz. *Sadface. So I had to park HELLA far away. Then, I had to rush to class, since it was a/b 8:25. That's the latest I've ever been to that class. And we had a test. I realized that I struggled doing alla that homework for no reason since she didn't even collect it. I think I did okay on the test, but it wasn't the best thing. Then there was speech class. My power point didn't work, so I lost some points for that. Ohh, I was trying to down that nasty drink for my CT scan still, but it didn't even work. I wanted to gag. So I struggled through my speech, but I made it. Then I had to rush over to the hospital. Made it there around 11:40, not bad. But I STAY behind slow drivers on the freeway that somehow wind up in the fast lane. That really gets my goat. Anyway, CT time. I drank a/b half of the other bottle. That was it. I rushed up there and was nervous. There were these cute two elderly ladies that helped calm my nerves. Thank HEAVENS for them. I was so nervous. I had to change, and then I was led in the room. I was put on this bed which wasn't that bad. Then I had to be given an IV. That thing made my vag hot. I thought I was bleeding. And the IV also made me sick. Like, really sick. I still kinna feel sick now. Anyway, after that, she took the IV out. And she obviously had issues b/c I was still bleeding after. I'm gonna have a big ass bruise 2m when I wake up on my arm b/c of her. Then I went to City to get Katy for Joi's game. We watched Ni-Hao Kai-Lan. Yay ! It was cute episode, kinna. Silly Bo-bo wanted to be the boss of everything. So then we watched AFV and as usual, I fell asleep. I woke up and me & Kat rushed to the game. Found a teacher at Willie Brown that was at King. Random. Anyway, we won that game. It was a slow one though. Like 19-3. After the game, we went to Da Kine. Came home, and now I'm blogging.

I'm really tired. And sick feeling. After I put up the dishes to shut up my mom and then do my homework, I shall be sleeping. At least in bed.

To do for 2m:
Go to the bank
Buy Carrots food
Watch movie with Katt
Catch up on sleep.
REGISTER FOR CLASSES.

Ugh. Just ugh. I'm done with this alone ness.

Man oh man.

Yesterday wasn't a good day. I woke up knowing that work was gonna suck. I got into with Leonard. Dumb ass. I'm not gonna get into details on here b/c it's not necessary. I just hope that something is done a/b this situation otherwise I may have to quit the rink this season. There's no way I'd be able to work in that type of environment.

I woke up today to realize that Moose and Mom were gone. I remembered that Moose had that meeting thing for some extra credit. We're supposedly having that house bombed today, but who knows. I hope we do. These flies are icky. And EVERYWHERE.

It's Saturday. We know what that means. I might go down to the rink today and talk to the supervisor and FINALLY give my side a/b what happened. And maybe to skate for a little bit with my boyfriend. We'll see how it turns out. It is Saturday, so that means drinks. I need A LOT of them this time. Omgah. We gotta clean the cage. And I want him to try Creations. Maybe we will. Or just grab some Eggettes. I want him to try something Asian.

So, I went to that doctor's appt for not having a period, and it turns out it's completely normal. I'm not pregnant so I guess everything is okay. I still gotta go in for a CT scan on Monday. Ugh. Nobody is gonna be able to go with me. I wonder if this is how it's gonna be once we're really together. Just me by myself. And I'm gonna have to schedule my major appointments and whatever else around his days off. I really hope not. I want my boyfriend to be there for me, whenever I really need him. Like Monday. This just sucks. I'm really scared. And the pains are unbearable sometimes.


Five weeks down for my boyfriend ! Just 23 more to go.

Exterminator, please ?

I think my house needs to be exterminated. There are HELLA flies just living in the house. And Idk where they're coming from, but they're irking. They just fly around a pester all that come in their way. It fucking sucks. I'm ready for these bastards to be gone. Maybe if I clean the cage more frequently. But I need help. Ugh.

Anyway, today a lot happened at the doctor. I'm broken. I gotta have a CT scan done on Monday. And I'm going back on Friday to see why I haven't had a period. It's kinna weird. It's been like four months. But I took a pregnancy test and I'm NOT pregnant, so there is no need to worry a/b that. I'm just broken. Ohh, today I had to give blood. It hurt. How can I have two tats and be okay w/ that, but be TERRIFIED to give blood ? Sucks.

I should talk to mom a/b getting an exterminator. Like, seriously. This shit is getting insane.

2m Joi has a game. Against A.P. She's nervous b/c they never beat them. Not even when Mari was on that team. But if Denman beat A.P., and Vis beat Denman, who knows what'll happen, right ? Ohh, and b/c of this game, I'm not going to Lab 2m b/c it's a field trip and I'm not missing my sister's game. So, sorry folks.

Besides the doctor's today, I had Eggettes. Yummy. A peppermint chocolate drink, but hot. Yummy yummier yummiest. Ahahaha. Mmkay, I think I have allergies to something, b/c my nose and eye (yes, only one eye) and throat is itchy. I might have to go back in if this itching doesn't stop. Omgah, I need Cepacol. I love that stuff.

Mmkay, beddy bye time for me and my boyfriend.

Ugh.

I felt the nee to blog, simply b/c I'm feelin' kinna down. But I read some of meng's comic's and that kinna cheered me up. Ugh, where to begin ? Prolly Monday huh ? Since that is the last day I didn't write anything.

Monday
I hate Mondays. Well, I hate all days. I hate lots of things. Ahahaha, isn't the point though. There was some schooling happening. Then there was some home b/c I was lazy stuff. Ohh, I just remembered a/b my appointment with my counselor. Omgah, the bitch was LATE. Like, beyond belief late. I was worried a/b getting a ticket b/c I parked in one hour parking. But I decided to transfer to SJSU. It's easier to get into than SFSU b/c @ SFSU the major is impacted. And yes, I'm sticking w/ interior design. Then I went to the Beacon to talk to Thea and see what she had that I could use for my display board for my speech. Then went on a hunt for my sister. Then took her home, and forgot a/b Demonte, for the millionth time. His mom needs to stop taking his phone. Ate, did some homework, slept. Wait, and then I gotta say how I decided to go to UCB Extension over SJSU. I gotta schedule another appt with a counselor first though, to see if they have different requirements. But with alla that being said, I picked out alla my classes and I'm gonna be at a full 17 units. I woke up at 2 am b/c my throat was SUPER dry. It hurt HELLA bad. So what I did was pop a cough drop. I fell right back asleep b/c I was soo drained. And then I woke up @ 530 to finish my homework and to talk to Stan, since we kinna went to bed on bad terms last night. But he didn't even answer until 6, so in the case of me waking up early to talk to him was kinna a failure.

..which leads me to..

Tuesday
What happened today ? I took a test in Russian. Ugh. I NEVER pass these things. Mmkay, and then there was geo. I was awake and participating. Kinna. I don't like you. You're rude. Anyway, came home, ate, slept, woke up, art, tried to sleep more, but Luckey called. And then Joi called. I made an attempt to do homework, but I'm not in the mood now. So, I'm just gonna sleep early and wake up early. And I gotta shower. I'm thinking waking up at 5 should cover me at all bases.

I have a doctor's appt 2m. I gotta take Joi in for her shadowing. I hope I don't have to be there the WHOLE time. Gay if I do. Anyway. I'm gonna get ready for bed. At 7. Oh my. This is BEYOND gramma status.

Yayay.

Four weeks have gone by. That means one month is down. Only six more left. Yay !
I'm so excited. Today is gonna be fun. I get Stan by a default b/c he needs help with his laundries. And then it's FINALLY David Choi concert. Just me and Katt. I really can't stand people who make somebody go outta their way for them, and then to repay them, they flake. You could've just as easily said no to the concert and not make our friend go outta her way for you. Oh well.

Yesterday was tons of fun. But boring. Me and Stan are so lazy now. We can't ever think of anything to do. We were gonna go bowling, but the place was HELLA full. Wtf, right ? Why is bowling so complicated and whatever else ? So we just ate. Ahahaha. But we ate at Fresh Choice. They need to have more options. I think I should just fill up on salad the next time I'm there. Nick's house. Domino's pizza is wayy too good. Stan got me a coke when I asked for a root beer. From now on, don't get my anything. Ahahaaha. And a hard doughnut.

So, for today, I already finished my outline. I gotta print that in the morning. I gotta go over this Russian homework and memorize a dialogue. Idk what to wear tonight. I wanted Stan to be here by now. I don't wanna rush and be late for the concert and then not have seats. Ugh. Oh well. Maybe if I start now it'll be more time for me and him.. catch my drift ?

I love my boyfriend. 

First day.

So.. I haven't had an official period in like, three months. Maybe four. I think today's the first day that I had a bit of a real one. Maybe. We'll see how long it last. I have a doctor's appt next Wednesday for this reason. And my headaches.

Yesterday my Moose had a game. Against SF Community. That game was SOO boring. Omgah, and their coach was mean. He had like mood swings. Anyway, they won. Let's gooo Lady Falcons. 5-1. They just need better defense. Since they were kickin' ass yesterday, Cap sent in second string and they caught up. The next round of kids needs to practice more and play better. After we went to Lolocup. We're going to Eggettes from now on. Yummy.

Soo.. I'm kinna over you, as a person. I know I've said this before, but now I mean it. How could you ? It's like.. you use us. We're not really not even friends anymore. You just hit us up when it's convient for you. So now, I'm done. I want you to take initiative, but you can't. And since you can't, I won't. I'm done trying.

Today I have no school. I'm excited a/b this. I get to rest with my cramps peacefully until a/b 3. I have work today at the rink @ 4:30. Not that bad. These people better make me a cashier. I'm not feelin' it if I'm not. How can they bring in new people and not make me a cashier ? I was hired under the pretenses that I'll be a cashier.

2m is SATURDAY. What does that mean ? Boyfriend day. He said we'll go to creations. Yay. We should ride, I know he misses it. We'll see. And I wanna clean the cage. Hopefully my cramps are gone. I don't wanna be all ugh face when he's here. I hope I have pants to wear that fit for work. Ahahahaha.

Bed time. C=

Ugh, I hate being sore.

What is it that makes me so sore after sexytime ? Anyway.. Idk the last time I blogged. So I'm gonna go back to Monday, if I can even remember that far back.

Monday
Soo.. Joi had a game. Ahaha. I can't remember school, but it wasn't that bad, obviously. Can't remember who she played. Omgah, my short term memory sucks, this was only TWO days ago. (I spelled two like tue, gahh I need some English in my life.) Was it Aptos ? Noo.. Lick. It was James Lick. I think that's it. Ahaha. Anyway, the girls played a good game and won. They're now 4-1. That's pretty damn good; I'm proud of my sisters. I brought them doughnuts for their past wins. If I had more money I'd get crepes. Maybe that'll be they're surprise for making playoffs. Bring them all crepes. Anyway, after the game, took Joi to Starbucks. They have their Christmas drinks now. And the cups are WAYY cute.

Tuesday
Um.. I know there was school involved. Don't remember what happened much after school. Ohh, I skipped art. I was feeling blahh. So then I waited and watched tv, even napped before the meeting at the rink. I missed my girls there. Too bad I didn't get to see Sabrina and Natalie. I miss those girls. But I caught up with Niecey and my daughter. Omgah, there are SOO many new people at the rink, it's not even funny. I was expecting there to be more old people. Only old people were Connor, me, mama, Rokkie, Niecey, Erica, Vince.. and yea. That's all that I can remember. Wait, Crystal was there. A few people are coming back I think too that just couldn't attend the meeting. I think my first official day will be Friday. I'll prolly roll through Friday regardless though.
-There's something that I want to do this year.. but Idk if I should. Maybe. I'll see how things go. Letters go a long way, you know ?

Wednesday
Today was soo weird. It's Veteran's Day, and everybody was off. But somehow City still had class. Anyway, I kinna got to sleep in. It was nice. I just didn't have milk, so I had to leave the house early to get some food, otherwise, I'd die. There was NO parking, btw. I had to park HELLA far away. That kinna sucked, but I lived. Class, speeches, blah. The "white guy" in my class did the funniest speech on ghost riding the whip. It was so hilarious. Came home, ordered Stan's pictures, played some text twist, and then Stan came over. Then he had to go to the bank, and then I was starving so we went to eat at Elephant Bar. The biggest argument over my eating habits ensued during this time. I will work harder to eat better, for you. So then we went over to Pet Smart b/c I needed a new litter box and Petco doesn't have them anymore. I found a nice one. It's big. I like it a lot. Maybe it'll be easier to clean. Then came back home. Snuggled, sexytimed. It's really sad saying bye to him. I hate it. Now I'm watching Ghost Hunters trying to get in the mood for homework. I have Russian and then I gotta answer a few more questions for my pass sheet, and then go OVER my pass sheet. I need to at least try for this shit.

Things to do before this week is over

1. Put a down for my birthday party
2. Ask Stan for the cash as a loan to pay for my ticket
3. Repaint my nails

Mmkay, homework time.

My stomach hurts.

I seriously love Saturdays. I get to spend time with my boyfriend, doing absolutely whatever feels right. He came over around one, and we chilled. My mom decided to bitch so I had to run her over to the nail shop, and she didn't really care that Stan was here. But whatever. Me and still just hung out b/c we couldn't find something to do. Then we decided to go for a walk around the dunk pond in Golden Gate Park. I got a pretzel. It was yummy. Then we walked around the pond twice. We were trying to feed the ducks and the little black birds but the seagulls kept getting in the way and eating alla their food. And they were hella annoying, with their calls and whatever else. Then we ran outta food, so we decided to go. We got in the car and killed hella more time b/c we didn't know what to do after. We decided to eat, but didn't know what. Then Stan came up with Sizzler. Yummy. Then we came back to my house. Chilled, sextyimed, relaxed. Decided to go over to Nick's house. Fun, fun, fun. Watched Big Bang Theory. How I've missed that show. Came back home, and in the car I had another break down. I seriously dislike saying goodbye to Stan. I just wanna kidnap him so that he's around me forever. I'm doing really well in keeping it together during the week, but I break down once I gotta leave him. "You gotta be strong, babe. I can't be strong by myself." Those are the words I'm gonna live by. Though I've been off and on crying all morning, I'm gonna get through this shit. I know I am.

I'm succeeding with the no more nail biting thing. I'm proud of myself. I actually have nails.

I'm hungry. Maybe if I eat my stomach will stop hurting.

I gotta finish laundry, do homework, and get ready for the week.

Good news, I see Stan on Wednesday ! Yayayaya. Gotta love holidays.

Recappppp.

Ouch, my hand just started hurting.

Thursday, game against Aptos, was a HOME game, after Joi made me go through HELLA steps. Anyway, it was a good game. 30-9. Gj Moose. She's bringin' it back with her game.. kinna. Ahahahah. She missed alla her threes and free throws. She's gotta work on those. Anyway, they won, and then we went to Creations. Joi's first time there. I think she enjoyed it. I gotta remember to bring the team doughnuts for their wins at the next game.

Friday, speech. Chilled at home for like an hour and then headed out to meet lbo and Noel since they were super kind to invite me to a Warriors basketball game. Information was soo misused. They thought they were doing live five sets of shows, but they only did one little thing, during a time out. They said that they messed up, ut I couldn't really tell. Check FB for pictures. Our seats were surprisingly good, imo. And the stadium looks wayy bigger on tv. Hmph, false advertisements. Came home and ko'ed.

It's Saturday ! Do you know what that means ? It means I get to spend the day with my boyfriend. I already cleaned my room, now I'm getting ready to do my linens and then shower. Maybe I'll do a load, shower, then do the next load. Anyway, I have NO clue what me and Stan are doing today. I think for the most part of the day we're gonna stay home and chillll. Then for the rest, Idk. Sad face. Oh well.

Btw, THREE WEEKS are DONE. Yayayay.

Neglected && Ignored.

I don't get why I feel this way. Like I don't matter. My mom is kinna pushing it. Joi's having a hard time now a days. So my mom makes this big effort to go and hug her when she leaves. Doesn't even bother with me anymore. And then Stan too. Like I knows he has the academy, but when he's off, all he does is blab a/b it. I get it Bunny, I swear I do. But for the few hours I do get to talk to you, can we talk a/b something that matters to me ? Obviously not. I even brought this up to him today.. and it worked for all of two seconds. And then it went right back to the academy. I cease to exist during the week unless he wants something. Unless he wants some attention. Thanks. That makes me feel really good. I'm hanging in there b/c I want to be with him. But it's really hard to keep it up if I don't even feel like he wants to be with me. I'm not asking for much, am I ? Just a simple sweet text will do. I've brought this up to him several times, and it seems like it doesn't even matter. It goes in one ear and out the other. Sometimes.. I just wanna give up.

Happier news, I'm getting my nose pierced. Stan was the deciding factor in this. I asked him if one he would be okay with me getting it pierced. Then I told him a/b the agreement me and mom had. The agreement goes that if I don't cut my hair, I can get it pierced. I hope it'll have me look older. So yea. Finally, another piercing. I've wanted one for a long time. It doesn't really matter though. I'm getting inked and marked up regardless of who approves.

Happy Birthday Jazmine ! I'm sorry that today wasn't your best birthday. I hope you still had fun. I got two long sleeve thermals today and some more underwear.

I'm seriously saddened. And tired. If I didn't have this russian homework, I would just curl up in a ball and ko. End of motha fuckin' story.

Joi's going back to school 2m. And there's a game. Bitches better be careful, I'm already hot.

So just maybe.

I think I'm growing up. I think just maybe I'm reaching that point in my life where I seriously don't have time for games. I figured this out today by being wayy concerned for the well being of my sister. I mean, I'm normally okay with her, just hoping she's fine, but today, during her basketball game, she was injured. Way injured that what it is normally expected at these games. She was pushed, and her lip got caught on her braces. From what I saw was just her lying on the floor, and then her walking over to the bench. I was super worried. I took my ass on the court not knowing what to expect. Then she told me. And I became furious. The ref said, "You're not a doctor, you need to get off the court." And then he had the nerve, the audacity to try and put his hand on me. I said as politely as I could that I'm her sister and I'm gonna keep my ass on the court for as long as needed. Punk ass. Anyway, I took her to the bathroom and she pulled it off. Then I got a paper towel and made her clean it. Her lip then had a hole in it. It looked gross. And it kept getting attached to the braces. So she sat out a few minutes in the beginning of the second half, but came back in with a vengeance and made some threes to show those cheatin' punk asses. DENMAN GIRLS BASKETBALL TEAM CHEATS !!! They took our book, changed to score, changed to points, anything and everything possible. But they STILL LOST. How in the world do you cheat and still lose ? That's what they get. Karma's a bitch; those fuckin' asian girls. And we all know I have NOTHING against asians since I am one, just those three cheated like a bitch. Ohh, one of the refs told me to be quiet. Um, no, not really. I'm loud at all the games. Sorry. Soo.. just to recap this paragraph, Denman sucks b/c they cheat, and even though they cheat, they lose. Ahahahaha, bitches.

Anyway, after the game, Joi still wanted her fro-yo from Tutti, so me and Katy went over there w/ her. I'm so glad I looked to my left @ this one stop sign and seen Tutti, b/c it moved a block up. So this was Joi's first time there. And it HELLA changed. It's now self serve. And they don't have small sizes anymore. I like the old tutti. It was better. But I think this way is more convenient for them. So we sat in the car and ate our fro-yo and Joi's lip was STILL getting attached b/c of the whole. So then I decided to call mom and see if I should take her to the hospital or whatever. Mom took forever to answer, and then she panicked. The doctor's said to not bring her in, so we didn't. Came home, she did some homework, ate, and now she's sleeping. My poor sister. I hope she's okay, and that her lip heals. (There was just an ant on my laptop.)

I want to buy a house. I think I'm ready. I 'membered a/b the thing Gramma gave me, so I should have a/b $10-15 K saved up for a down. That's already a lot of money. I'm done with this house. I'm also ready to change majors. I should check and see if they have the classes I need for interior design available next semester, and if not, I'm going to take on some zoology courses. I might go back to cheer too. Give me something to do.

I'm actually really fuckin' tired. Today was wayy too long. I must sleep, now.

Btw, two weeks down. Only a 26 more to go. C=

Weekend Recap

Soo.. this weekend was eventful. I guess you can say it was. I did a lot of stuff, but it was too short.

Saturday
Happy Halloween to all! I hope you all had a great weekend. I woke up, pretty much chilled for a bit. Then took a shower and waited for my Bunny to come over. We watched TV for  awhile and then headed to eat. Had burritos. Yummy. Then went over to Nick's. Saw Chris again. And I met his wife.. I believe her name is April. She's fun. We ate s'more and drank. Omgah, it felt soo good to have that in me. I missed it. Anyway, played some drunken Rock Band. That's always fun. Stan didn't play. My poor boyfriend, I could see he was tired. Came back to my house, sexytimed, ko'ed for a bit, I think. And then I remember him kissing me and leaving. He didn't even give me a chance to wake up a bit. That made me kinna sad.

Sunday
Happy Birthday Demonte! He turned 11. So for his special day, we decided to go to the roller rink in Antioch. We (meaning me, mom, Joi & Demonte) had to catch BART since the bridge is STILL closed. That was fun. I haven't seen my mom on public transit in forever. She read though. And geeze, it's kinna sad how my mom just has to talk to other people. Anyway, got there, finally, and went to the rink. Omgah, somebody else was having a birthday party, and they decided to bring their entire family. And for some reason, that entire family was like... ugly. Not ONE of them was even decent looking. And then.. these poor girls. All of them had the most hideous weaves. I mean, c'mon. If you're gonna wear a weave, gotta make it believable. One girl decided to do a Farrah Fawcet type of style. There's no way that's how any black girl's hair is naturally. And then there was a girl who had bangs, but then alla her hair was just out, and had a clip on ponytail. Gahh, it was HARD as HELL for me to NOT speak a/b these people. Anyway, I had fun. They played some other game. Didn't play as many good songs as last time though. I took pictures, so check FB. Um.. what else is there ? Ohh, Red Robin, duh. Yummy Red Rice Bowl. Then BART home. I ko'ed instantly, and woke up in Oakland. I wish I didn't though. Did my homework too.

I gotta adjust to this time change. Omgah, I'm exhausted at 10:00. Ahahaha. This is worse for my gramma status. I gotta change my doctor's appt. Can't miss my sister's game. Though I prolly could. We're not doing too well. Capp's such a bad coach. What else is there that I can ramble a/b ? I guess nothing. 2m I will clean my room. I will, I will, I will. And I'm going to look for a new bed print. I'm tired of this one.

:(

I'm kinna sad. Stan made this fuss a/b at least trying to come and see me, but of course he didn't. And I'm not even gonna bring it up. I'm just gonna suck it in. S'posedly me and him are hanging out 2m. ALL DAY. Should I even believe that ? I don't think I should. He's trynna pull the excuse that his body won't let him sleep in.But if given the chance, you will. And I know he will. So I prolly won't see him until like three. And then he'll prolly be like I should be getting home early. So I'm not even all that excited a/b seeing him. I could just spend the day with Katy, but I wanna give him the chance to at least prove himself.

I have cable again, kinda. I don't have any of my basic channels. I can't watch my channel 2 news in the morning when I'm getting ready. Omgah, IHOP has gingerbread pancakes. I'm so on those, with or without Stan's permission. I'm kinna sick of that too. Just b/c he's on this health thing doesn't mean that I have to be. He throws tantrums whenever I eat something bad. Ugh, it irks me. Anyway, I gotta talk to dad a/b fixing my cable.

I painted my nails today, for the first time in forever. The color looks sooo neutral. I gotta get more colors. The dollar store at top of the hill has nice colors. Maybe the next one will be more brown. Ugh. I should clean my room. Only b/c I'm upset. Cleaning helps me calm down. And then I'll have a clean room. Yay. Pandora time ? Yea, since nothing else is really on. Wait.. on second thought, I'll clean 2m morning. I'm just not feelin' it right now.

Being in a bad mood sucks.

Sunday is Demonte's birthday. Going somewhere out there in Antioch/Concord. Prolly skating ring or Jungle. I'm excited. That should brighten up my dull Friday. Geeze. I haven't gone out on a Friday in SOOOO long. I guess I could. But I know an arguement will ensue. And I'm not really ready to have one of those. This relationship is already taking it's toll on me.

Maybe I will clean.

Finally.

I've been wanting to blog the past few days, but I've had no to do so. :( But now I have time, so it's all good.

Monday
I had sooo much fun on Monday. Um, school, interviews, show for Gabe. The interviews were kinna fun. Well, the one interview I went to, for the storage company. It went well, but I haven't heard from them. So I don't think I got it, but ehh, whatever. Anyway, I went to the second interview for the gym to be a receptionist, but there wasn't anybody there. So I just called it quits. It's whatever. Stupid people. Then I chilled until it was time for the concert. It was soo nice. I loved the environment there. It was nice and quaint. The show was good. I got a CD from Gabe, autographed w/ my name spelled right. Yay me. Stayed there until a/b 11. I had to do homework so I came home and didn't ko until a/b one.
-Emotions from that day were kinna all over the place. I was bummed, I was down, but I was happy. I really want me and Stan to work. He just had the worst day. He sounded so sad and all I wanted to do was give him a hug to make him feel better. My poor bunny. This academy is taking a toll on him emotionally as well. I didn't think it would be that bad.

Tuesday
Um, I really can't remember what happened this day. Ahahaha, it was yesterday. I remember school, getting high from art class and those god damn markers. Ohh, Joi's basketball game. Vis played against ISA, and that poor school. I've never seen anybody get murdered that bad. The score was like 48-7. And they were lucky on the shots they did make. Vis was stealing the ball from them like it was nothing. The team didn't even seem like they were trying. The eighth graders from Vis were upset b/c Capp benched them. But they need to understand that when you're killing somebody that bad, you gotta send in your second string. Anyway, they won. Joi wanted Bayside b/c she was hungry. So I took her there and grabbed myself some dinner for the night. Dropped Joi off and then me and Katt went to Creations. It's nice there when it's empty. I heard my song again. I love that boyfriend real man song with the dance. Ahahahaha. Anyway, Katt went home, I did too. Did hella Russian homework, then ko'ed.

Today
Russian, had a test. I had to wake up early to finish my homework and go over the material for the test. My boyfriend didn't text me like I wanted him to, but it's okay. I somehow woke myself up at 5. And I said that 515 thing, but realized that I should just get a move on it. After I finished the homework, I decided to study. I realized I didn't need an hour to study, so after 30 minutes, I went back to sleep for 45 minutes. Woke back up, got ready. I decided to go to 7-11 for breakfast b/c I wasn't gonna make it through the day w/o any form of caffeine. So then I drop off the kiddies, park, walk to the library. It turns out the quiz was on something completely different than what I had studied. Oh well. I still did well on that shit. Omgah, I gotta mention the Shant and Nina thing. That poor girl. The Armenian Shant obviously has a crush on Nina. He tries to deny it. So anyway, he comes up to us today in class and he's like hey how are you, alla that jazz. And then he says I'm not trying to hit on you, which makes it even more obvious that he is trying to hit on her. Poor Nina. I think he's trying to hit on me, but he knows I have a boyfriend. I love you bunny. Since 1900. Anyway, there's going to be a trip offered to go to St. Petersburg for a month in the summer. I want to go, but I doubt my parents will let me. So, class ended, went to speech. Guess what ? It was canceled. So I came home. Slept, watched tv, now this.

I want me and Stan to work, so I'm going to do all and everything that I can to have it happen.

I decided to stop applying for jobs until towards the end of December for the reason that I'm not gonna be able to handle two jobs.

I need a weaker heart.

Baby girl loves too much. I need a weaker heart so my feelings don't get hurt so easily, so I won't be tempted to cry alla time.

Today was long, kinna eventful. Woke up, ate, showered, got ready for Demari's game. Then I had to get gas, go to the bank, get Katy, then wait for Stan. He drove to the game; mom, Joi&Demonte and Grampa&Laura went in the other car. The game was SOOO good. Demari won. Kicked butt. I got upset b/c Stan didn't even watch the game. He was soo focused on his studying. It upset me b/c he didn't have to come if he wasn't even gonna concentrate on the game. Anyway, we went to eat at this resturant. Omgah, they fucking sucked. Me, Katt, and Stan didn't get our food until everybody else was done eating. And I got my food DEAD LAST. Stan was upset at me for being impatient, but I knew that something was gonna happen. Once I didn't get my shit he was like, it's okay for you to be upset. I scarfed down alla the food I could. My chicken tenders, my half of dog, fries, onion rings (which were gross). Ohh, I ordered a pineapple juice, and that thing was gross. So I had to take Desiree's lemonade. Then we went home. Took Katt home, Stan helped me with homework, he bounced.

This is going to be the longest and hardest 27 weeks. It's putting a toll on me. Maybe if I get this job, or any job, it'll be easier so I'm not thinking a/b you as much.

2m, another busy day. TWO interviews. One at a storage company, one at a gym. Then going to the Gabe Bondoc concert. Hopefully I'm not loaded w/ homework after that. Ugh.

I'm super tired. I wanna ko. But mom of course throws hella shit on me. Lazy ass ho. Ugh.

Kinna tired.

So.... the last time I blogged was on Wednesday. A lot I guess has happened since then.

Thursday

Um, school, home, ate, napped while Uncle Herman and his grandchildren were working on the windows, then lab (which was HELLA easy), then back home. I know that's boring, but ehh. I'm trying to remember if anything exciting happened, but I'm seriously drawing a blank. Oh well.

Friday
So, this day was fun. Speech. No offense, but Maraune gives the longest and most boring speeches. He repeats EVERYTHING he says for no reason. I found a good parking spot too. Anyway, came back home, rested some. Then woke up and called Katt to see if she wanted to tag along w/ me to my interview for smoking everywhere. She came. That was the QUICKEST interview I ever had. He asked me TWO questions and these people weren't even organized. Nobody knew I was coming. So I'm supposedly getting another call or something if they like me. Whatever. Then after that, me and Katt went to Jamba b/c she's my bff who has gift cards. I had a yummy Strawberry Sunrise. I loveeee those. Then we came back to my house and watched some People's Court. Then up to Joi's game. Presidio kicked our ass. Kapp sucks as a coach. Joi should sit in on the boy's practices. The girls have no plays. It was upsetting. Soooo, then I left the girls and ect there while me & Katt went to get EVERYBODY crepes. I got one, and then Stan surprised me with saying he wanted to take me on a bike ride to Girahdelli. That was really sweet, but I had to change my outfit w/h kinna stressed me out. I wanted to just look pretty, but I couldn't get through to him. Soo, I had to come back, pick up my two sisters, My-my, and Demonte, distributed crepes, dropped them off, and gave Katy my crepe to give to her sister. Then I got home just in time to see Stan pulling up. I ran over to him and just hug him. It's soo nice. I really missed him. Then I come home, change, sort the clothes, put up dishes, then we leave. Had a nice ice cream sundae, talked a bit a/b the Academy, then went to the Parc to pick up his check. He's upset b/c they aren't giving him his sick pay. But whatever. Came back to my house, snuggled, sexytimed, snuggled, he fell asleep, and then I woke him up so he could go home and rest.

Saturday
A lot is happening today. Well, not for me, just in general. Grampa and Laura are coming up. Stan is doing this fundraiser with his other recruits where they march into the bay in their PT clothes and salute. I really don't get it. That just seems like they're trying to embarrass them, but whatever. I'm not in charge of this stuff. And today I'm getting my hair done. Idk what time though. And I'm not going to be home until HELLA later. That's kinna irking.

Sunday
I know for this day, I'm going to Demari's game. Stan and Katy are coming. And I might take Joi as well. Dad is going to drive Grampa and Laura. Then I'm supposedly going over to Nick's for cookies and alcohol. Yummy. Only b/c he owes me. Then that'll prolly end early. He needs his rest.

So, it was really nice seeing Stan, but I'm going to need more of him than just three hours a week. I'm trying really hard to not be selfish, but g'damn, I got needs too. Mmkay, I'm starving, so I'm gonna eat. Then get ready for Oscar's. Ugh. *Note to self, bring coloring book.

Ugh.

I'm hating lifee. I need something to do so my mind is occupied. Rink can't start soon enough. I need to start that so I can work out a schedule. I think I might get hired at this cart thing for the mall. I'll get in to more details later.

Maybe I'm hanging out w/ Skye today. I'll see if she's up to it. I know I'm going to see Katyy, yay!

I'm hungry. Mmkay. I'll add more later.

So... what is there to say ? I'm in a pissy mood. Like, I'm just bitchy. I really don't wanna go to class 2m. I HATE Thursdays with a passion. There's nothing to look forward too. Tuesdays either. I used to enjoy those days. Now I'm just.. hating them. I don't even get my boyfriend. I haven't seem him a week. Well, it'll be a week and a day. His friends get to see him, but I don't. I'm not even gonna put up a fight. He needs to make the effort. I'm too weak to continue funding this relationship on my own. It's not worth it. My health is deteriorating. I'm sick. Headaches alla time, no energy, always queasy in the tum tum. Something's gotta give in this relationship.

I didn't see Skye today, but I did see Katy. We had Creations. Yummy. That was the first time I went there in the afternoon. It's better. You get water in this fancy glasses. I had glutonus rice balls for the first time. It was yummy.

Stan's supposedly coming over so he can get brass cleaner to shine his shit. I think he's trying to make up for his flakeness. Whatever. I gotta study my Russian, I gotta make up for these shitty grades. I wish I didn't change into pajamas already. Maybe I should change back. Just to surprise him. Hmm.. Maybe..

Ugh.

Today fucking sucked. It really did. I woke up and felt sick. I'm still prolly going to be sick. Forever and ever. Until I get to see my boyfriend. "Baby, why don't you see that I need you HERE with me?" I had to pick up Joi and Demonte so I had to cancel seeing my lbo. And then when I was was trying to leave freehand, I discovered a fucking FLAT tire on my poor car. So I had to call Triple A. Ugh. Today just sucked. All around sucked. I hate my life. I should be doing my Russian, but ehh. It's easy. And I have a fatty headache. I've had this headache for a few days. If I still have it by the end of the week, I'm going to go in. I'm so tired of the hospital.

I forgot that 2m I have to go to an open interview @ Levi Strauss. I know people NEVER get hired from these mass things, but it's worth a shot. I need something. And I have another mass thing next Monday for a storage company. I hope I get that more than Levi.. but beggars can't be choosers, right ? Esp. in this economy. Speaking of jobs and whatever else, the rink will be starting in a/b two weeks. Yay. Maybe that'll give me time to not think a/b Stan. And give him time to miss me for once. My goal is to NOT make anybody fall for me. That's my goal every year, but it ALWAYS happens. Ugh.

My headache won't go away, even with Advil. I don't even know when I'll have time. Maybe Monday after the interview ? Ugh.

With the rink money, I need to buy me a phone, the Valennersary gift, and pay off a ticket. Soo much shit that needs to be done. Hopefully I'll make enough. Ohh, and I gotta pay for half of my bday. I plan to put the down on my bday first, then the phone, then the valennersary gift. Hopefully I'll be making enough in these few weeks. And hopefully I get a job. I applied to a few more today.

Grampa and Laura are supposed to be coming out here sometime this week b/c of Demari's homecoming. I'm not even all that excited. Whenever they come, I always hide. Not even b/c it's them. It's b/c it's her. Why did my Grampa get married ? He did NOT need to do that. And he now knows it. He talks bad a/b her alla time, but I still love him.

I need some love and affection. I wonder if I'll ever get it. Prolly not. I'm not gonna hold my breath.

Rain, rain, go away.

Dear Jesus, why do you make it rain on Mondays ? It sucks. It's like STORMING right now.

So today, I didn't get to watch my Judge Alex b/c the baseball stuff was on. So, I came home, ate (b/c I was starving) and slept. Woke up to like 50 texts, but ignored alla them. Now I'm tv'ing and waiting. Waiting patiently until my Bunny comes, if he comes. I have a feeling that something bad will be happening and there will be some sort of excuse given. But we'll see. If I don't hear from him at all after 5, I'll just take it in stride.

So, I really don't have a lot to say. It's raining, but I'm HELLA hot. My battery light keeps blinking on my laptop, anybody know how to fix that ? I would HATE to be a mail person in SF. The weather sucks. I give props to them.

Today may be the day.. I'm so anxious. Ugh.

Um, I feel like this was short.. and I actually have more to say.

So, picking up my sister and Demonte' from school, I found up some pretty interesting news. Um.. Santana works at ROCK as a homework helper. When Joi told me, I died. That's sooo funny. If Joi didn't look hella like me, we wouldn't have had this prollem. Like, seriously. Joi didn't recognize him and if she looked different he prolly wouldn't have approached her. So now.. that might bring drama. Hopefully not

And then I felt like talking a/b how my week is busy, b/c it is.
Tuesday Lbo day! Hopefully my news will be good.
Wednesday Skye & Katy. Idk what me and Skye will be doing.. and then me and Katy want Creations.
Friday Joi's scrimmage against some school.
Saturday Hair appointment
Sunday Demari's game with Stan and Katy.
-See what I mean ? I'm spreading myself thin. Ugh.

Omgah, btw, today is Stan's first day @ the Academy. How could I forget to mention that ?
I think today I'm gonna hear..Будете ли вы за меня замуж? We'll see.

Yea, this will be my last update for the night. I just gotta let this shit out. I'm upset. And I have every fucking right to be upset. You constantly let me down. That's the only thing stable that I can expect from you. You think throwing that word around will make me feel better ? It doesn't. Don't say something that you're not going to be able to live up to. Don't tell me that you're going to see me, and then flake. And then don't be upset when I call you a flake. I'm not even upset, or disappointed anymore. I'm angered. I'm angered b/c you can't seem to live by anything you say. B/c you TRY to make me your number one priority, but it never seems to follow through and I wind up being number two. Nothing I do seems to be good enough for you. So fine. I'm not going to expect you to treat me like you're number one anything. And don't expect the same. Not until you prove you deserve it. B/c I know I've made mistakes, but now I give you the world, and you give me.. rocks. Thanks.

Whoa.

Um, the layout for blogging just changed. I guess that's what I get for not blogging in hella days, huh ? So.. where to begin ?

Let's start with Friday, b/c I was super upset that day. So, I gave my speech. I went HELLA over the time. I guess that was obvious b/c I didn't really didn't prepare. But whatever. Then it was HELLA hot. Like, wtf ? So I had to go to the rink for an interview. But I wanted to change so when I get to see my boyfriend I'll look pretty. So I shaved and threw on a brand spakin' new dress. Interview, chill with Krystle and Rokkie for a bit, and then head home. I go to the cleaners to pick up Sissy's clothes, then drive to the BART station to BART out to Antioch to give them to her. It was her birthday.. so yea. Had to do that. Come back home on BART and this guy is trying to holla at me. Um, is it NOT obvious when a girl is ignoring you that she has no interest in you ? He was hella persistent. So I had to give the I'm 17 line. And then Stan's like can I just see you on Sunday ? And then I was upset. Like, I wanted to punch a bitch in the face. B/c after we already agreed to see each other, he's like can we reschedule. And I was like forget it, I'll just see you next week. B/c I didn't want to see him Sunday when he doesn't wake up until one and get here at three and leave at eight so he's ready with enough sleep for the Academy. So, I just came home, changed, took a nap, woke back up, ate dinner, then went to bed.

Saturday. Um, what happened yesterday morning ? Ohh... Demari's football game. It was a tie. A cute game. Demari just let this one guy run straight by him though. That made me upset. Ohh, and both teams kept getting injured. Like, I was gonna be one angry black woman if somebody hurt my baby. But he was fine the entire game. Then we come back to my house. I sleep before we go out to eat to celebrate Sissy's bday. Best nap ever. Woke up, still had two hours to go, and was hungry. Time flew by, we went out to eat. NOTE TO THE WORLD Don't eat at Hungry Hunter. Like, seriously. When we went, they sat us right in the middle of the room, and alla these white people were surrounding us. We felt like we were on display. Omgah, this one old lady was hella rude. My mom offered her a seat and she looked at her as if she was above her. Stupid cunt. Racist bitch. And then her friends came. Whatever. Ohh.. and then this other old white lady came in with her hair in a bun, right on top of her head. Like, it was the most hilarious shit the entire night. As soon as I seen that hair, I had to mock it. So I whipped up a bun and everybody was dying. Oh man, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Then home. Joi decided to go to Antioch, so I was happy. A nice quiet night without her.

Today, nothing. Stayed home all day. Slept, ate, did homework. FB, tweeted, showered, youtube. Maybe not in that order, but you get the idea.

2m, school, see bunny. Nothing exciting a/b that either. Idk if 2m will be all that exciting. I'm going to hear tons and tons a/b his first day of the academy.

I've been upset lately. Over lots of things. I'm being the bigger person, and I'm letting him go. I'm doing this b/c his mom has been bitching. She better not bitch anymore since Stan just dropped money for her car. Whatever. I've also been kinna bugged out over this girl on FB. Like, I really don't know her. Maybe she's just a girl from high school that alla them know, but she's commenting on Stan's everything. I know it's nothing, w/h is why I haven't made it an issue, it's just bugging, you know ? And then.. Stan said something to me a few nights ago. I'm not going to say it, b/c it freaked me out. Maybe I'll say it if it happens. Well, I know I'll say it when it happens. I'm just hesitant. What he said wasn't funny. Not at all. I'm worried that I'm getting my hopes up and then it won't happen. So.. yea, I'll just leave it at that.

I'm bored. Today was such a lazy Sunday.

Hmm.

Stan's at his orientation right now for the Academy. I hope he does okay in there. We're prolly not hanging out tonight which kinna upsets me. I didn't even get that much chill time w/ him today during break b/c I had to go w/ him and run errands, then do laundry. It wasn't even nice. But I get to have him for a weekend. Yay. That's better than nothing. I'm gonna be SUPER dressed up for him whenever I get that chance. Nice blouse, jeans, and then my new pumps. Yay. Back to the orientation.. kinna digressed there for a bit. Paul didn't bring his paperwork. Like honestly, that's retarded. How did you NOT remember your shit ? He called his dad. I lol'd b/c I remember when I called my parents for things, but that was when I was in high school. And that was a rarity. And I was scolded for it each and every time. Paul's how old and can't even remember his own shit ? Ahahahah. Poor guy.

So, 2m is gonna be hella long. I gotta give my speech. Then a doctor's appt for my speech. Then I gotta go to the rink. And I gotta go to the cleaners for sissy and BART out there to drop off her pants. So much shit to do. And maybe I'll be with Stan. If not 2m then Saturday.

I wanna see Paranormal Activity. People are all talking a/b it. I hope I won't be terrified. And if I am, I'm not sleeping that night, or I'm sleeping with somebody. Speaking of sleep, with this period, I haven't been getting much of it. I wake up around 3 or 4 and just lie there. I gotta take two Advil and chug ibuprofen just to get tired. But it's hard to force yourself to sleep when you know you only have an hour more of sleep. And I think b/c of that I've been having the craziest dreams.

I should be working on my speech. I'm not gonna do a powerpoint. I'm just gonna be lazy and give a speech. I'm changing my intro though. And I gotta figure out my statistics. This means another morning of waking up early. Ugh.

The Petco people never called me, btw. That kind of sucked.

Hmm.

Party in the USA is a catchy ass song. Ahaha.

Today was pretty damn boring. I woke up hella early b/c I had to revise my speech. I hope I did better. Um, Russian in the language lab. So, it's official, I don't like Shant, or whatever his name is. He's rude. And he better back off of Nina. Ahahah. Poor girl. Anyway, he's freaky. He's like, always staring, and speaks up a/b random things. NOBODY cares a/b what you have to say. I was FORCING myself to stay awake. It was kinna sad. Um, I should be working on that paper that we need to go over. I gotta focus. Speech class, I got my review back. It was terrible. I went OVER the time limit. I think I should ask for a bit of an extension b/c of my stutter. I wonder if she'll go for that. Um, I gotta also do a PowerPoint or figure out some sort of visual aid to go along w/ this. This topic is hard b/c.. there aren't a lot of pictures. Not positive ones though. Maybe just with the facts it'll be enough. I came home and slept. Omgah, I was SOO tired. Slept from a/b 12 to 3:30.

2m, I have to go to class, then break with Bunny. I wanna pick up Desiree's clothes from the cleaner's 2m too. Um, I'm thinking a/b bringing Stan something easy for lunch. Just like Chinese food or Hawaiian food. I could just go for a little spam musubi. And 2m is my boyfriend's orientation for the Academy. Gotta get his uniform and alla that. So, Idk if I'll be seeing him after, but I know that I'll be getting him on the weekend. Omgah, a weekend. Like a normal couple.

I hope my Spring semester is better. I'm not feeling this semester at all.

Dear Jesus, please give me a job. 2m I also have the phone interview with the people for being a demo rep for Petco. Yay. Hopefully I get it. Which makes me want to go browse jobs now.

I feel like I should talk a/b this situation. I think you need to let him go. He's a grown man, and you can no longer baby him. I'm going to be the bigger person and release it. One day a week with my boyfriend. This isn't fair, but I don't want to be the reason you're bitching at him. So fine, I'll step back. But you need to realize that I'm not, and lemme repeat that, not leaving. Stan is my boyfriend, whether you or anybody else likes it. We're going to be together forever. You're not going to be able to keep him. And I hope that when the day comes along where me and Stan are married, that you're not gonna be one of those shitty mother in laws who controls her son's every move. I'm holding my tongue for now b/c I have respect. But you gotta give to get. Gotta be cruel to be kind.

I don't know how much of this I can take. Things with Stan were just getting good. And then.. this happens. I'll see what happens. But if it reaches the point where I'm feeling neglected.. AGAIN, and I start looking elsewhere, I might just have to step back. Re-evaluate our situation b/c I know I don't deserve this. I know it. Even thinking a/b this sucks. I just did this big FB thing and kept saying how I didn't remember the last time I cried.. ahahaha, if only I waited a few more hours. Stupid.

Aww, man, I love my boyfriend.

So, he's definitely working on his attitude. Today, I knew it was gonna be a hard day. Rough, long, annoying, b/c I was taking Stan to Concord to buy a car. I wasn't expecting to be left alone for an hour and a half, but I toughed it out. Texted a few people, did a few things online, didn't complain. Then Stan came back and was a bit sad b/c the guy was asking for too much. The guy wanted $11000, for a 17 year old car. Stan said he would go as low as $10, but that guy wouldn't budge. So, we pretty much drove to Concord for nothing. Then we left the house and had to pee. Like really bad. And I saw a Costco and decided to pull over and go to that bathroom b/c I wasn't gonna be able to hold it. Then we got hungry. And couldn't decide on what to eat, as always. We decided on Chili's. And then it was HELLA good. Or the appetizer was. Those nacho things. Ahahahaha. And then, he paid. He wouldn't even let me pay. Like, he wouldn't budge. And he paid for toll. This REALLY isn't like him. I was taken aback by these actions he showed. I'm really happy. I'm happy that he's working on his attitude. It made me feel really special today. When he acts this way, I want to give him everything I can.

2m is the puppy shopping day. I'm excited. Just a small cage for the dog w/ a bed in it and a little tin for food and water. I'm gonna be home lots now this semester, and I think the people at the rink will be okay if I bring it in occasionally. And Stan's cleaning the cage. I'm happy I don't have to help, but I'm gonna help. Esp if it's raining. I want to get it over with. And maybe with a clean these pesty ass flies will go away. I'm hoping so. Seriously. I'm gonna spray the room while he's outside and fan it out. Then maybe it'll work.

I'd blog a/b what happened to my car, but it upsets me. Like, REALLY bad. Stupid bitch and her dog fucked up my car. I'm so sad. Like, disappointed sad.

I have to work on my speech. It's due Friday. It sucks. I have NO idea what I want to say. Well, I know what I want to say, but I need to know how to phrase it, and that I have no idea to do. Ugh.

I've had some inquires a/b jobs this past week. Hopefully I get something. I keep applying to places too. Good news maybe ? I hope so. The more I save for this valenersary gift the better.

Hmm.

Yesterday, I splurged. I refuse to spend anymore money. Ugh, I bought TWO new pair of shoes. One I really needed. I needed some black flats, just all day whenever throw on type of flats. And since we were at Payless and they were having bogo, I had to get another pair. So I got these purple polka flats. I guess I needed purple flats. Ahahaha. Um, I bought HELLA purple stuff these past few days. No more purple. And I need winter clothes. Keep that in mind for me for when I go shopping next time. And then at Wet Seal they were having a 5 for $20 sale on alla their sale items. So I saw this really cute shirt and top. And then I was frustrated b/c I didn't see anything else. Like, wtf ? Then I decided to get another of the skirt I already had. Then I was upset b/c the shirt had a hole in it, so I had to get something else. And there wasn't anything. So I wound up leaving Wet Seal with three of the same skirt in different colors in tadly different prints. Then in Charlotte, I didn't really see anything. These one pair of pants were hella cute, so I got those. And a few tops. And a dress. I don't even really wear dresses. But this is good b/c I need to get out of this screen tee thing. I'm gonna donate alla the ones I don't wear. Time to empty the closet again. Yay. Ahaha. Um.. what else is there to blab a/b ? Newport Mall sucks. Ahaha. Ohh, the long sleeve purple shirt that I tried on. The most hilarious thing that I've done. Ahaha. I tried on this REALLY cute shirt. I got a medium b/c normally mediums fit. This shirt didn't work for me at all. The part that was supposed to be a vneck around the bust was like completely covering my chest. Ahahaha. It was soo funny. I died with that. Um, yea.

I wanna go out one of these weekends like how me and the girls used too. To try to help us get off of our gramma status. Ahahah. We sleep hella early. Like, we just die. It's so sad. We had to force ourselves to stay up past 10. Ahahaha.

This is the boyfriend's last day of work for ProPark. He's now a City Employee. Yay ! Ahahah. I'm soo happy. Now I gotta look for a job. A person just called from this interior design job that I applied for. He said he'll call back if he wants me. I doubt he will, but it never hurts to be a bit hopeful. I look everyday for jobs. The majority of the jobs suck, or I can't do it b/c of timing and scheduling. I wanna go apply at Charlotte in Tanforan. Hmm..

Today the girls are supposed to be coming over. When they do, I'll put up the laundry. Maybe. It's really cold in my house today. And now alla sudden I'm lightheaded. Ahaha. I should nap. Toodles noodles.

Hmm.

So.. Thursday was a semi weird day. I wasn't expecting what happened to happen. It started off w/ Stan canceling our Thursday afternoon chill b/c he had to go to a fitting for his uniform. I didn't know he was going with Paul until after he TOLD me that we should watch Paranormal State with Paul and his coworker. Which, I just found out is REALLY young. If Paul's older than Stan, and she's younger than me, that's young. Mmhmm. Anyway.. none of that happened. We just went to eat. Then I got upset b/c Stan was neglecting me. He doesn't think of his actions or lack there of. So I kinna blew up at him b/c I had it. Then he tried to apologize as we were leaving on the bike w/h was prolly difficult b/c you can't really hold a conversation on that thing. It's loud and the helmet and yea. But anyway, we semi reached a conclusion. Then we decided to go see Toy Story, but left b/c you know how I get during movies. And then we came home and he's like I can't continue b/c I feel bad. And that tripped me the FUCK out. Like, he STOPPED b/c he felt bad. Then we talked a/b it and he honestly did feel bad. I was shocked. He's like, I shouldn't treat you how I treat you and not expect you to be upset. And I was like wow. It took him a year and a half, but he finally got it. Now let's see what he does to act on this.

Today I'm hanging out with Lindsey! Yay. I'm excited. I haven't seen her in a looong time. We're eating at Pasta Pomordo on California. Yummy. I should be in process of getting ready, but I'm a procrastinator. I'll look up the menu and directions. I should look up how to get to her house. Ahahah. I'm also supposed to be going to the Mighty4 thingy in Oakland, but Idk if I'll go b/c it'll take a/b an hour to eat, then to pick up Jess & Katt it'll be already around 2. Then a/b 45 minutes to drive out there, to spend two hours in Oakland ? Hmm.. we could go to Walmart and play around there. What malls are in Oakland ? I'll gts too.

Um, I think that's all I have to blog a/b today. Time to change my FB status and google a million things.

YAY !

I haven't been here in forever, and I'm coming back with some pretty damn good news.

Congrats to Stanislav K. Bratchikov to making it in to San Francisco Police Academy, class 227.

I'm soo happy for my boyfriend. His DREAM came true. So for alla those people who say that the American Dream isn't achievable, you've been proven wrong. Work hard it, and you'll be where you wanna be. My boyfriend is going to be a police officer. How many 22 year-olds do you know that have a career ? Hmm ? I don't know of any, besides my boyfriend. And Paul. Ahaha. I'm soo happy for my Bunny. Woohoo.

So.. anyway, with that being said, there is a LOT that I need to do. Step my game up in school. I dropped CADD b/c I wasn't feeling Francisco. Deleted that other blog.. ugh. I need to get a job. Spend smarter. Figure out what I wanna do to be a zoologist. Or a vet. In case I decide to change majors.

Must get a job. Must get a job. And on that note, I have an interview on Friday. And I'm excited a/b that. I'm gonna go to Charlotte in Tanforan and apply there. Even though it's WAYY low minimum wage, I must do it to make my boyfriend proud.

Ugh.

I've had it w/ planning this vacation. So many things have come up and so many things are preventing it that I've reached a point where I just don't care anymore. I'm gonna be REALLY bummed if I book alla this and then Stan gets in the Academy and I have to cancel. That's a big worry in the back of my mind. Ugh, there really isn't winning. Should I just stop with this damn thing ? Let it be. Save my big trip for never ? My 'a' key is really sticky, just as a side note. Ohh, and then my dad is like you can use my credit. Yea, he said that OUTTA nowhere. That's kinna irking. I asked him for that a looong ass time ago. And now it expires on Monday, so it pressures me and Stan to make a decision hella soon a/b our trip. And he's like I'm too tired to be making a choice right now. Which kinna upset me.

And in other bad news, my cell phone is HELLA acting up. My text is being super retarded and simply not working. It won't send. I can receive, but not send. It's pissing me off.

I'm debating dropping CADD. I don't think I can pass w/ this teacher. He's bad. I should rate him. Ahahaha. He's so artsty. I need direction in a class. I don't learn by feeling the key strokes and hearing things. If that means retaking it and staying at City longer, than be it. I'm not putting myself through torture. I'll make my decision 2m after talking it over with Stan and seeing what my options are.

Um, I got a weird phone call from a person that I'd like to leave anon. I wasn't expecting this call, and I ended it as soon as I could. It was random. Lots of pauses. Lots of um's and so's, and awkward silences. I have no idea why this person called. This call put me in a strange position.

2m is Demari's game. I'm going with Katy and Demonte. I wanna go shopping for a bit too out there. Are there good malls ? I wanna buy sweaters and long sleeves since I'm outgrowing alla my screen tees. Now I gotta google stuff.

I'm procrastinating taking this pill b/c I can't swallow it (even though I cracked them in half with mom's pill cracker) so I bite them a bit. Then they dissolve and that taste is so gross. I should've went with the cream. Prolly wouldn't have been as long for going w/o sexytime too. Ahahaha.

Mmkay, pill time, then pee time. Then.. Idk. Google ? Ahahaha.

Hmph.

I was sleeping so well last night w/ my Bunny and I didn't want him to leave. Then he woke me up and made me change into jammies and he got ready to leave. Ugh. I was ko'ed on him. Nice and warm. It sucked super bad.

Today, I have a few minutes left. I'm debating if I should stay. It's bugging how I'm behind and I need to go step by step to catch up. I'm not getting the help I need, so it's frustrating. I need to finish this soon. Maybe I should just go.

I need to look for a yob. I might just go home and do that, and hw, then come back and get Katt. It's frustrating me. Ugh. Hateeee CADD. With a passion.

Things to do today:
-Pet store for Carrots
-Book hotel
-Talk to dad a/b using his name for car
-Catch up on ALL assignments
-STOP BEING SICK.

Think I can accomplish alla that ? Let's hope so.

Sniffles.

I hope to be better by Wednesday. I hate being sick.

2m is gonna suck. If I hadn't already typed out what I was gonna do, I'd do it. Pretty much just run HELLA errands and spend time with boyfriend. Boyfriend means movie, clean cage, snuggle, but prolly not in that order. Luckily I'm sick, so I prolly won't smell anything. I know it all smells bad too. Hasn't been cleaned in FOREVER, but that's b/c I've been poor. I got the check from Sambazon, so I guess I'm good. Too bad I was overdrawn and now have to wait for it to clear. I should do a quick scan to see how much things will cost 2m so I know how much to ask dad for. Ahahaha, spoiled much ? I know.

Anyway.. I had a job interview today. With a durka. I know, right ? He was so schizophrenic. He told me to sit down as I walked in, then walked outside and told me to follow him. Then he had to help the clerk on duty do a return. She was weird too. I don't think I'm gonna fit in with the weirdness level that's being produced at that store. Ahahah. It'll be ironic if I get the job and start working at the rink. The place is at 2 Embarcadero and the rink is @ 4 Embarcadero. Hella close to each other. And speaking of the rink, Jeremi called today ! I'm hopefully gonna be cashier, b/c I'm tired of skate host. And it's HELLA cold just being skate host. And I hate it. Soo.. hopefully that'll be cool.

When that check clears, I'm booking the hotel. Stan better have my dough. Then I gotta talk to dad to see if we can rent the car in his name b/c we don't wanna pay the extra taxes. I'm soo excited for this vacay. It's much needed.

Mmkay, I'm tired of typing, and sniffling, and licking my lips. I'm tired of being sick. Ugh.

Ugh

I'm so bummed. I didn't get the job. The job that would've been perfect for me. I got a lousy email telling me so. I'm disappointed. I was for sure that that job was mine, but like so many others, it was snatched from me. It sucks so bad. Damn this economy.

I've been doing homework all day. Today has gone by so slow. I did finish alla my Russian. I'll finish Geo soon too.

2m is gonna be long. School, then going to the bank, the the art store, then pet store. I gotta get markers for art, and I gotta get Carrots a new litter box. I'd clean her cage 2m if I could, but the damn thing is soo big and heavy that I'm not able too. I also wanna clean her ball and her carrying case and leash. The weather has been nice so I should take her out.

I need cable. I've been reduced to watching NOTHING on my 2/3's cable. I watch a lot of MSNBC, Discovery, TruTv, and E!. Ugh. Mom does a lot of talking a/b this, but I know she's not gonna be proactive.

Mmkay, I'm gonna finish Geo now. Hopefully.

Ugh

I hate being sick. I hope I get better soon.

I will get alla my homework done.

I wish you weren't like that sometimes.

Chilled w/ Nick a bit last night/this morning, but I slept the whole time b/c of my meds. Ugh. Cookies though. Yum. Next time we go over, I plan to stay awake.

I need to clean Carrots' cage. And my room, put up alla the laundry. And vaccuum.

I read my horoscope and seen that I'm gonna get good news from a job. Hmm. Maybe ? Prolly not.

I'll go back to Cadd regularly now, promise.

Tuesday was awesome. Bunny super spoiled me that day. There needs to be more days like that. Sushi, movies, sexytime. Ahahahaha. Gotta love it.

What else is there to talk about ?

I have a Russian test on Tuesday, and a Geology test on Thursday. For me to take the test in Geology, I gotta finish this one sheet, that has like 54 questions. Ugh. Russian, I'm hoping it's just writing. But I gotta remember the names of hella clothing and accessories and technology things. Another ugh.

I need some eye candy. Something stimulating for me to see before I start my homework.

Disrespectful ass kids.

Omgah, where are the parents at. Look, I know I'm only a few years older, but you WILL NOT talk to me in any form of disrespect while I'm being nice and doing you a fuckin' favor. That's just not the way things work, esp with me. I'm so sick and tired of everybody thinkin' I'm nice. You all have pushed me to my motha fuckin' limit. You will NEVER treat me like how you treat your friends. Respect me, or leave me. I don't tolerate any more of this shit.

I will finish my powerpoint today.

I think I was supposed to hang out with Jess, but she never called me. So maybe something else 2m. I really don't care.

Ugh.

So, I think it's time I blogged. It's been awhile, and some things have been happening.

I was recently "let go" of my position from Sambazon. Idk why. I got a text from the boss. So I've calculated my totals and I better be gettin' my checks soon. With that, I had a job interview today. I hope I did well, b/c now I'm ready and willing to work. I also got a response from a real estate company showing houses. I think that job is better than the one I went for today, so I hope I get it.

Um, I think soy is fuckin' up my period. Like seriously. It's SOO light now, it's crazy. I either don't bleed my entire off week, or I have like, five drops. Is that normal ? But I did have cramps this off week and two KILLER headaches.

Um, Stan surprised me yesterday with chocolates. A big box of chocolate from sees candy. I was shocked. I had two of them. And I'm gonna have one more tonight. I'm scared of getting a coconut one though. I'd love a nice milk chocolate. Or a mint chocolate. Yummy.

I'm getting my hair done 2m. Ugh. Gotta be up wayy early. I think this is the only downside there is of being black.

I have another speech to give on Monday. It's on tattoo ink. I'm super nervous. Like, ugh. I hope I don't cry again. That'll just be embarrassing. Another girl is doing hers on tattoos. Hopefully I don't give a lot of the same information she has in her speech. I was working on my powerpoint earlier and just decided to end it b/c I couldn't find a tattoo of a friend that has red ink in their tattoo. I might have to FB stalk people and find one. Ahahah.

Speaking of finding, Lindsey found me on FB. Yay, my Chinese twin. Now we shall hang out and meet up.

I'm tired of typing. And this is prolly hella long.

I miss my boyfriend terribly. Weekends suck without him.

Hopin', and wishin' and prayin'.

I REALLY want a new job, soon. I applied to a few places and I'm gonna keep on this hunt. Something better turn up.

Joi has her first softball game of this year today. Gotta go and represent. It's just SOO ugly outside atm. I hope the weather gets better.

I gotta drive around HELLA today. Kinna sucks. Ugh, oh well.

I'm tired. To stay awake in this class will be a struggle today, but I did it Monday. Cheer for me folks.

Ugh.

I need to get on the comp more at home. Seriously. I need more time. I hate my job. Not really. Just you. Well, I don't hate you. But I know I don't like you. I should carpool w/ you & blast my hip hoppers. See how you'd like that. I'm such a good girl. Anyway.. gotta email Anthony. Wholy moly, almost forgot about that. I'll hop to it.

Mmkay, I handled my business. I need a new job. I'm actually excited for the rink to start. That's a job I actually like. Minus the parking. But it's still fun. The closer it is for the rink starting, the closer it is to my birthday, and that means that it's almost time to go to Anaheim bitches. Woot woot. Five days with my boyfriend uninterrupted.

I have a test in Russian 2m. I'd love for Stan to help me study for it, but Mondays aren't good for him b/c his schedule is retarded. He doesn't even talk to me on Mondays. Must do Geology tonight and study my Russian.

2m is Tuesday, boyfriend day. When am I going to get paid ? I have no money and now the bank is being stupid. I should ask Anthony a/b this. Um.. Idk what's happening 2m, at all. Wednesday, I'll be with my bff Katy. I love our days together. And then on Thursday I'll be with Stan. Friday working. But I'm happy it's in Mountain View. I don't think there are that many places to where I'm actually commuting.

I have HELLA time to work on my drawing. I'm gonna be done with it hella quick though. The other guy who has mine is making his way complicated and Idgi. He should just let it be.

Mmkay, I think it's drawing time. And maybe even snack time. I actually should make this nap time so I'm awake in class. I hope I don't have a ticket b/c of how I parked.

It's actually kinna cutesies

So, I was going over alla my old blogs and it's trippy how I go from I hate Stan & how this always happens to I love him & he's so amazing. From what I can tell, my bday is STILL on b/c Stan says that it would be selfish of him to make me cancel it for him to save some money. I'm NOT getting my hopes up. Shit always happens. So yea. Anahiem with my boyfriend for FIVE fuckin' days. Yay.

Yesterday was Tuesday w/h means spend the day w/ the boyfriend. We actually did. Went to the doctors b/c I had to pick up bc, ate @ Hooters & I had a nasty ham&cheese sandwhich. The ham was burned. Stan called it "well-done." It's ham. It doesn't come in different cook varieties. Just one. So, I've decided that I'm gonna stick to my original grilled cheese sandwhiches from there from now on. And I had these bomb hot wings. Actually hot wings. Stan had two of mine, and he looked like he was in soo much pain. Anyway, then we went back to my house and chilled. We were both tired, but neither of us slept. Sexytime, duh. Then we cuddled. And then he wanted ice cream. Together me and him both ate a pint of ice cream. We ate ice cream and watched Operation Repo. Then it seemed to be HELLA late so we agreed that he would leave. But it turns out it was only 10pm ! Oh well. He got home, and I ko'ed on him. As always. But I was exhausted in my own defense.

I'm blogging from the lab in the ARCH dept of school right now. It's kinna dope. Ahahah. Um..

Work this weekend in Santa Cruz. That's another long drive. At least I don't have to commute and go over the damn bridge over and over again. Just 101 to 17 I believe. It's just ath how mom describes it, it kinna freaks me out. That's the only way in & out of there. I'll leave early to allow for traffic, b/c I have SHITTY luck. I think Friday Jess is coming back as well. So maybe Friday night Nick's house.. and Saturday chill day w/ the girls at the Boardwalk ? My hours suck, but it's nothing else I can do.

Class time.

Hey giiirrll, what's ya name?
The name's Sarah and I'm feelin' ya game.
-I love meeting new people.

Um, I'm waiting until 12:30 when I should be heading back to class. I gotta bring my helmet and a a coat b/c me & Stan gotta go to the doctor's so I can pick up my bc. My back has been hurting all day.

I got a b+ on my first writing test in Russian, and I hope to see how well I do w/ my first speaking one 2m. I think somebody in that class likes me.

I'm still waiting for somebody to step their game up.

I need new birthday plans. *Insert biggest sadface ever.* I hate this. I was planning this for a YEAR. I'm so done. Idk what to even do know. Just go eat ? There's never anything fun to do in December. Happy fuckin' birthday to me. All of my friends suck. You ALL canceled on me for various reasons (even though they're good ones) and now I'm stuck doing nothing for my birthday. Fuck all of you guys. I think I need new friends.

Congrats to the new married couple.

I'm job hunting. I need something new. I love this job, but it's not gonna be permanent. Unless I stay with the company. Have I even mentioned the job ? I'm a demo rep for Sambazon and we travel to Costco's selling our product. I hate the AM, cuz she's spacey and never does her job. My coworker is just plain retarded. And she has NO license. Her dad drives her to work. Wtf ? Maybe you should spend your free time taking lessons and growing up. I need a job w/ cooler people.

I have school 2m, and I'm supposedly seeing Stan. But who knows what will happen. I have a feeling, that something will come up. It always does with him. I also gotta pick up my bc. 2m isn't gonna be nice to me, I can just feel it.

I'm looking for places, and there are definitely some good ones out there that are cheap. I think "when the time is right" I'll be able to get one, that I love.

What else can I rant about ? Nothing. This day just sucked balls.