:(

I'm kinna sad. Stan made this fuss a/b at least trying to come and see me, but of course he didn't. And I'm not even gonna bring it up. I'm just gonna suck it in. S'posedly me and him are hanging out 2m. ALL DAY. Should I even believe that ? I don't think I should. He's trynna pull the excuse that his body won't let him sleep in.But if given the chance, you will. And I know he will. So I prolly won't see him until like three. And then he'll prolly be like I should be getting home early. So I'm not even all that excited a/b seeing him. I could just spend the day with Katy, but I wanna give him the chance to at least prove himself.

I have cable again, kinda. I don't have any of my basic channels. I can't watch my channel 2 news in the morning when I'm getting ready. Omgah, IHOP has gingerbread pancakes. I'm so on those, with or without Stan's permission. I'm kinna sick of that too. Just b/c he's on this health thing doesn't mean that I have to be. He throws tantrums whenever I eat something bad. Ugh, it irks me. Anyway, I gotta talk to dad a/b fixing my cable.

I painted my nails today, for the first time in forever. The color looks sooo neutral. I gotta get more colors. The dollar store at top of the hill has nice colors. Maybe the next one will be more brown. Ugh. I should clean my room. Only b/c I'm upset. Cleaning helps me calm down. And then I'll have a clean room. Yay. Pandora time ? Yea, since nothing else is really on. Wait.. on second thought, I'll clean 2m morning. I'm just not feelin' it right now.

Being in a bad mood sucks.

Sunday is Demonte's birthday. Going somewhere out there in Antioch/Concord. Prolly skating ring or Jungle. I'm excited. That should brighten up my dull Friday. Geeze. I haven't gone out on a Friday in SOOOO long. I guess I could. But I know an arguement will ensue. And I'm not really ready to have one of those. This relationship is already taking it's toll on me.

Maybe I will clean.

Finally.

I've been wanting to blog the past few days, but I've had no to do so. :( But now I have time, so it's all good.

Monday
I had sooo much fun on Monday. Um, school, interviews, show for Gabe. The interviews were kinna fun. Well, the one interview I went to, for the storage company. It went well, but I haven't heard from them. So I don't think I got it, but ehh, whatever. Anyway, I went to the second interview for the gym to be a receptionist, but there wasn't anybody there. So I just called it quits. It's whatever. Stupid people. Then I chilled until it was time for the concert. It was soo nice. I loved the environment there. It was nice and quaint. The show was good. I got a CD from Gabe, autographed w/ my name spelled right. Yay me. Stayed there until a/b 11. I had to do homework so I came home and didn't ko until a/b one.
-Emotions from that day were kinna all over the place. I was bummed, I was down, but I was happy. I really want me and Stan to work. He just had the worst day. He sounded so sad and all I wanted to do was give him a hug to make him feel better. My poor bunny. This academy is taking a toll on him emotionally as well. I didn't think it would be that bad.

Tuesday
Um, I really can't remember what happened this day. Ahahaha, it was yesterday. I remember school, getting high from art class and those god damn markers. Ohh, Joi's basketball game. Vis played against ISA, and that poor school. I've never seen anybody get murdered that bad. The score was like 48-7. And they were lucky on the shots they did make. Vis was stealing the ball from them like it was nothing. The team didn't even seem like they were trying. The eighth graders from Vis were upset b/c Capp benched them. But they need to understand that when you're killing somebody that bad, you gotta send in your second string. Anyway, they won. Joi wanted Bayside b/c she was hungry. So I took her there and grabbed myself some dinner for the night. Dropped Joi off and then me and Katt went to Creations. It's nice there when it's empty. I heard my song again. I love that boyfriend real man song with the dance. Ahahahaha. Anyway, Katt went home, I did too. Did hella Russian homework, then ko'ed.

Today
Russian, had a test. I had to wake up early to finish my homework and go over the material for the test. My boyfriend didn't text me like I wanted him to, but it's okay. I somehow woke myself up at 5. And I said that 515 thing, but realized that I should just get a move on it. After I finished the homework, I decided to study. I realized I didn't need an hour to study, so after 30 minutes, I went back to sleep for 45 minutes. Woke back up, got ready. I decided to go to 7-11 for breakfast b/c I wasn't gonna make it through the day w/o any form of caffeine. So then I drop off the kiddies, park, walk to the library. It turns out the quiz was on something completely different than what I had studied. Oh well. I still did well on that shit. Omgah, I gotta mention the Shant and Nina thing. That poor girl. The Armenian Shant obviously has a crush on Nina. He tries to deny it. So anyway, he comes up to us today in class and he's like hey how are you, alla that jazz. And then he says I'm not trying to hit on you, which makes it even more obvious that he is trying to hit on her. Poor Nina. I think he's trying to hit on me, but he knows I have a boyfriend. I love you bunny. Since 1900. Anyway, there's going to be a trip offered to go to St. Petersburg for a month in the summer. I want to go, but I doubt my parents will let me. So, class ended, went to speech. Guess what ? It was canceled. So I came home. Slept, watched tv, now this.

I want me and Stan to work, so I'm going to do all and everything that I can to have it happen.

I decided to stop applying for jobs until towards the end of December for the reason that I'm not gonna be able to handle two jobs.

I need a weaker heart.

Baby girl loves too much. I need a weaker heart so my feelings don't get hurt so easily, so I won't be tempted to cry alla time.

Today was long, kinna eventful. Woke up, ate, showered, got ready for Demari's game. Then I had to get gas, go to the bank, get Katy, then wait for Stan. He drove to the game; mom, Joi&Demonte and Grampa&Laura went in the other car. The game was SOOO good. Demari won. Kicked butt. I got upset b/c Stan didn't even watch the game. He was soo focused on his studying. It upset me b/c he didn't have to come if he wasn't even gonna concentrate on the game. Anyway, we went to eat at this resturant. Omgah, they fucking sucked. Me, Katt, and Stan didn't get our food until everybody else was done eating. And I got my food DEAD LAST. Stan was upset at me for being impatient, but I knew that something was gonna happen. Once I didn't get my shit he was like, it's okay for you to be upset. I scarfed down alla the food I could. My chicken tenders, my half of dog, fries, onion rings (which were gross). Ohh, I ordered a pineapple juice, and that thing was gross. So I had to take Desiree's lemonade. Then we went home. Took Katt home, Stan helped me with homework, he bounced.

This is going to be the longest and hardest 27 weeks. It's putting a toll on me. Maybe if I get this job, or any job, it'll be easier so I'm not thinking a/b you as much.

2m, another busy day. TWO interviews. One at a storage company, one at a gym. Then going to the Gabe Bondoc concert. Hopefully I'm not loaded w/ homework after that. Ugh.

I'm super tired. I wanna ko. But mom of course throws hella shit on me. Lazy ass ho. Ugh.

Kinna tired.

So.... the last time I blogged was on Wednesday. A lot I guess has happened since then.

Thursday

Um, school, home, ate, napped while Uncle Herman and his grandchildren were working on the windows, then lab (which was HELLA easy), then back home. I know that's boring, but ehh. I'm trying to remember if anything exciting happened, but I'm seriously drawing a blank. Oh well.

Friday
So, this day was fun. Speech. No offense, but Maraune gives the longest and most boring speeches. He repeats EVERYTHING he says for no reason. I found a good parking spot too. Anyway, came back home, rested some. Then woke up and called Katt to see if she wanted to tag along w/ me to my interview for smoking everywhere. She came. That was the QUICKEST interview I ever had. He asked me TWO questions and these people weren't even organized. Nobody knew I was coming. So I'm supposedly getting another call or something if they like me. Whatever. Then after that, me and Katt went to Jamba b/c she's my bff who has gift cards. I had a yummy Strawberry Sunrise. I loveeee those. Then we came back to my house and watched some People's Court. Then up to Joi's game. Presidio kicked our ass. Kapp sucks as a coach. Joi should sit in on the boy's practices. The girls have no plays. It was upsetting. Soooo, then I left the girls and ect there while me & Katt went to get EVERYBODY crepes. I got one, and then Stan surprised me with saying he wanted to take me on a bike ride to Girahdelli. That was really sweet, but I had to change my outfit w/h kinna stressed me out. I wanted to just look pretty, but I couldn't get through to him. Soo, I had to come back, pick up my two sisters, My-my, and Demonte, distributed crepes, dropped them off, and gave Katy my crepe to give to her sister. Then I got home just in time to see Stan pulling up. I ran over to him and just hug him. It's soo nice. I really missed him. Then I come home, change, sort the clothes, put up dishes, then we leave. Had a nice ice cream sundae, talked a bit a/b the Academy, then went to the Parc to pick up his check. He's upset b/c they aren't giving him his sick pay. But whatever. Came back to my house, snuggled, sexytimed, snuggled, he fell asleep, and then I woke him up so he could go home and rest.

Saturday
A lot is happening today. Well, not for me, just in general. Grampa and Laura are coming up. Stan is doing this fundraiser with his other recruits where they march into the bay in their PT clothes and salute. I really don't get it. That just seems like they're trying to embarrass them, but whatever. I'm not in charge of this stuff. And today I'm getting my hair done. Idk what time though. And I'm not going to be home until HELLA later. That's kinna irking.

Sunday
I know for this day, I'm going to Demari's game. Stan and Katy are coming. And I might take Joi as well. Dad is going to drive Grampa and Laura. Then I'm supposedly going over to Nick's for cookies and alcohol. Yummy. Only b/c he owes me. Then that'll prolly end early. He needs his rest.

So, it was really nice seeing Stan, but I'm going to need more of him than just three hours a week. I'm trying really hard to not be selfish, but g'damn, I got needs too. Mmkay, I'm starving, so I'm gonna eat. Then get ready for Oscar's. Ugh. *Note to self, bring coloring book.

Ugh.

I'm hating lifee. I need something to do so my mind is occupied. Rink can't start soon enough. I need to start that so I can work out a schedule. I think I might get hired at this cart thing for the mall. I'll get in to more details later.

Maybe I'm hanging out w/ Skye today. I'll see if she's up to it. I know I'm going to see Katyy, yay!

I'm hungry. Mmkay. I'll add more later.

So... what is there to say ? I'm in a pissy mood. Like, I'm just bitchy. I really don't wanna go to class 2m. I HATE Thursdays with a passion. There's nothing to look forward too. Tuesdays either. I used to enjoy those days. Now I'm just.. hating them. I don't even get my boyfriend. I haven't seem him a week. Well, it'll be a week and a day. His friends get to see him, but I don't. I'm not even gonna put up a fight. He needs to make the effort. I'm too weak to continue funding this relationship on my own. It's not worth it. My health is deteriorating. I'm sick. Headaches alla time, no energy, always queasy in the tum tum. Something's gotta give in this relationship.

I didn't see Skye today, but I did see Katy. We had Creations. Yummy. That was the first time I went there in the afternoon. It's better. You get water in this fancy glasses. I had glutonus rice balls for the first time. It was yummy.

Stan's supposedly coming over so he can get brass cleaner to shine his shit. I think he's trying to make up for his flakeness. Whatever. I gotta study my Russian, I gotta make up for these shitty grades. I wish I didn't change into pajamas already. Maybe I should change back. Just to surprise him. Hmm.. Maybe..

Ugh.

Today fucking sucked. It really did. I woke up and felt sick. I'm still prolly going to be sick. Forever and ever. Until I get to see my boyfriend. "Baby, why don't you see that I need you HERE with me?" I had to pick up Joi and Demonte so I had to cancel seeing my lbo. And then when I was was trying to leave freehand, I discovered a fucking FLAT tire on my poor car. So I had to call Triple A. Ugh. Today just sucked. All around sucked. I hate my life. I should be doing my Russian, but ehh. It's easy. And I have a fatty headache. I've had this headache for a few days. If I still have it by the end of the week, I'm going to go in. I'm so tired of the hospital.

I forgot that 2m I have to go to an open interview @ Levi Strauss. I know people NEVER get hired from these mass things, but it's worth a shot. I need something. And I have another mass thing next Monday for a storage company. I hope I get that more than Levi.. but beggars can't be choosers, right ? Esp. in this economy. Speaking of jobs and whatever else, the rink will be starting in a/b two weeks. Yay. Maybe that'll give me time to not think a/b Stan. And give him time to miss me for once. My goal is to NOT make anybody fall for me. That's my goal every year, but it ALWAYS happens. Ugh.

My headache won't go away, even with Advil. I don't even know when I'll have time. Maybe Monday after the interview ? Ugh.

With the rink money, I need to buy me a phone, the Valennersary gift, and pay off a ticket. Soo much shit that needs to be done. Hopefully I'll make enough. Ohh, and I gotta pay for half of my bday. I plan to put the down on my bday first, then the phone, then the valennersary gift. Hopefully I'll be making enough in these few weeks. And hopefully I get a job. I applied to a few more today.

Grampa and Laura are supposed to be coming out here sometime this week b/c of Demari's homecoming. I'm not even all that excited. Whenever they come, I always hide. Not even b/c it's them. It's b/c it's her. Why did my Grampa get married ? He did NOT need to do that. And he now knows it. He talks bad a/b her alla time, but I still love him.

I need some love and affection. I wonder if I'll ever get it. Prolly not. I'm not gonna hold my breath.

Rain, rain, go away.

Dear Jesus, why do you make it rain on Mondays ? It sucks. It's like STORMING right now.

So today, I didn't get to watch my Judge Alex b/c the baseball stuff was on. So, I came home, ate (b/c I was starving) and slept. Woke up to like 50 texts, but ignored alla them. Now I'm tv'ing and waiting. Waiting patiently until my Bunny comes, if he comes. I have a feeling that something bad will be happening and there will be some sort of excuse given. But we'll see. If I don't hear from him at all after 5, I'll just take it in stride.

So, I really don't have a lot to say. It's raining, but I'm HELLA hot. My battery light keeps blinking on my laptop, anybody know how to fix that ? I would HATE to be a mail person in SF. The weather sucks. I give props to them.

Today may be the day.. I'm so anxious. Ugh.

Um, I feel like this was short.. and I actually have more to say.

So, picking up my sister and Demonte' from school, I found up some pretty interesting news. Um.. Santana works at ROCK as a homework helper. When Joi told me, I died. That's sooo funny. If Joi didn't look hella like me, we wouldn't have had this prollem. Like, seriously. Joi didn't recognize him and if she looked different he prolly wouldn't have approached her. So now.. that might bring drama. Hopefully not

And then I felt like talking a/b how my week is busy, b/c it is.
Tuesday Lbo day! Hopefully my news will be good.
Wednesday Skye & Katy. Idk what me and Skye will be doing.. and then me and Katy want Creations.
Friday Joi's scrimmage against some school.
Saturday Hair appointment
Sunday Demari's game with Stan and Katy.
-See what I mean ? I'm spreading myself thin. Ugh.

Omgah, btw, today is Stan's first day @ the Academy. How could I forget to mention that ?
I think today I'm gonna hear..Будете ли вы за меня замуж? We'll see.

Yea, this will be my last update for the night. I just gotta let this shit out. I'm upset. And I have every fucking right to be upset. You constantly let me down. That's the only thing stable that I can expect from you. You think throwing that word around will make me feel better ? It doesn't. Don't say something that you're not going to be able to live up to. Don't tell me that you're going to see me, and then flake. And then don't be upset when I call you a flake. I'm not even upset, or disappointed anymore. I'm angered. I'm angered b/c you can't seem to live by anything you say. B/c you TRY to make me your number one priority, but it never seems to follow through and I wind up being number two. Nothing I do seems to be good enough for you. So fine. I'm not going to expect you to treat me like you're number one anything. And don't expect the same. Not until you prove you deserve it. B/c I know I've made mistakes, but now I give you the world, and you give me.. rocks. Thanks.

Whoa.

Um, the layout for blogging just changed. I guess that's what I get for not blogging in hella days, huh ? So.. where to begin ?

Let's start with Friday, b/c I was super upset that day. So, I gave my speech. I went HELLA over the time. I guess that was obvious b/c I didn't really didn't prepare. But whatever. Then it was HELLA hot. Like, wtf ? So I had to go to the rink for an interview. But I wanted to change so when I get to see my boyfriend I'll look pretty. So I shaved and threw on a brand spakin' new dress. Interview, chill with Krystle and Rokkie for a bit, and then head home. I go to the cleaners to pick up Sissy's clothes, then drive to the BART station to BART out to Antioch to give them to her. It was her birthday.. so yea. Had to do that. Come back home on BART and this guy is trying to holla at me. Um, is it NOT obvious when a girl is ignoring you that she has no interest in you ? He was hella persistent. So I had to give the I'm 17 line. And then Stan's like can I just see you on Sunday ? And then I was upset. Like, I wanted to punch a bitch in the face. B/c after we already agreed to see each other, he's like can we reschedule. And I was like forget it, I'll just see you next week. B/c I didn't want to see him Sunday when he doesn't wake up until one and get here at three and leave at eight so he's ready with enough sleep for the Academy. So, I just came home, changed, took a nap, woke back up, ate dinner, then went to bed.

Saturday. Um, what happened yesterday morning ? Ohh... Demari's football game. It was a tie. A cute game. Demari just let this one guy run straight by him though. That made me upset. Ohh, and both teams kept getting injured. Like, I was gonna be one angry black woman if somebody hurt my baby. But he was fine the entire game. Then we come back to my house. I sleep before we go out to eat to celebrate Sissy's bday. Best nap ever. Woke up, still had two hours to go, and was hungry. Time flew by, we went out to eat. NOTE TO THE WORLD Don't eat at Hungry Hunter. Like, seriously. When we went, they sat us right in the middle of the room, and alla these white people were surrounding us. We felt like we were on display. Omgah, this one old lady was hella rude. My mom offered her a seat and she looked at her as if she was above her. Stupid cunt. Racist bitch. And then her friends came. Whatever. Ohh.. and then this other old white lady came in with her hair in a bun, right on top of her head. Like, it was the most hilarious shit the entire night. As soon as I seen that hair, I had to mock it. So I whipped up a bun and everybody was dying. Oh man, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Then home. Joi decided to go to Antioch, so I was happy. A nice quiet night without her.

Today, nothing. Stayed home all day. Slept, ate, did homework. FB, tweeted, showered, youtube. Maybe not in that order, but you get the idea.

2m, school, see bunny. Nothing exciting a/b that either. Idk if 2m will be all that exciting. I'm going to hear tons and tons a/b his first day of the academy.

I've been upset lately. Over lots of things. I'm being the bigger person, and I'm letting him go. I'm doing this b/c his mom has been bitching. She better not bitch anymore since Stan just dropped money for her car. Whatever. I've also been kinna bugged out over this girl on FB. Like, I really don't know her. Maybe she's just a girl from high school that alla them know, but she's commenting on Stan's everything. I know it's nothing, w/h is why I haven't made it an issue, it's just bugging, you know ? And then.. Stan said something to me a few nights ago. I'm not going to say it, b/c it freaked me out. Maybe I'll say it if it happens. Well, I know I'll say it when it happens. I'm just hesitant. What he said wasn't funny. Not at all. I'm worried that I'm getting my hopes up and then it won't happen. So.. yea, I'll just leave it at that.

I'm bored. Today was such a lazy Sunday.

Hmm.

Stan's at his orientation right now for the Academy. I hope he does okay in there. We're prolly not hanging out tonight which kinna upsets me. I didn't even get that much chill time w/ him today during break b/c I had to go w/ him and run errands, then do laundry. It wasn't even nice. But I get to have him for a weekend. Yay. That's better than nothing. I'm gonna be SUPER dressed up for him whenever I get that chance. Nice blouse, jeans, and then my new pumps. Yay. Back to the orientation.. kinna digressed there for a bit. Paul didn't bring his paperwork. Like honestly, that's retarded. How did you NOT remember your shit ? He called his dad. I lol'd b/c I remember when I called my parents for things, but that was when I was in high school. And that was a rarity. And I was scolded for it each and every time. Paul's how old and can't even remember his own shit ? Ahahahah. Poor guy.

So, 2m is gonna be hella long. I gotta give my speech. Then a doctor's appt for my speech. Then I gotta go to the rink. And I gotta go to the cleaners for sissy and BART out there to drop off her pants. So much shit to do. And maybe I'll be with Stan. If not 2m then Saturday.

I wanna see Paranormal Activity. People are all talking a/b it. I hope I won't be terrified. And if I am, I'm not sleeping that night, or I'm sleeping with somebody. Speaking of sleep, with this period, I haven't been getting much of it. I wake up around 3 or 4 and just lie there. I gotta take two Advil and chug ibuprofen just to get tired. But it's hard to force yourself to sleep when you know you only have an hour more of sleep. And I think b/c of that I've been having the craziest dreams.

I should be working on my speech. I'm not gonna do a powerpoint. I'm just gonna be lazy and give a speech. I'm changing my intro though. And I gotta figure out my statistics. This means another morning of waking up early. Ugh.

The Petco people never called me, btw. That kind of sucked.

Hmm.

Party in the USA is a catchy ass song. Ahaha.

Today was pretty damn boring. I woke up hella early b/c I had to revise my speech. I hope I did better. Um, Russian in the language lab. So, it's official, I don't like Shant, or whatever his name is. He's rude. And he better back off of Nina. Ahahah. Poor girl. Anyway, he's freaky. He's like, always staring, and speaks up a/b random things. NOBODY cares a/b what you have to say. I was FORCING myself to stay awake. It was kinna sad. Um, I should be working on that paper that we need to go over. I gotta focus. Speech class, I got my review back. It was terrible. I went OVER the time limit. I think I should ask for a bit of an extension b/c of my stutter. I wonder if she'll go for that. Um, I gotta also do a PowerPoint or figure out some sort of visual aid to go along w/ this. This topic is hard b/c.. there aren't a lot of pictures. Not positive ones though. Maybe just with the facts it'll be enough. I came home and slept. Omgah, I was SOO tired. Slept from a/b 12 to 3:30.

2m, I have to go to class, then break with Bunny. I wanna pick up Desiree's clothes from the cleaner's 2m too. Um, I'm thinking a/b bringing Stan something easy for lunch. Just like Chinese food or Hawaiian food. I could just go for a little spam musubi. And 2m is my boyfriend's orientation for the Academy. Gotta get his uniform and alla that. So, Idk if I'll be seeing him after, but I know that I'll be getting him on the weekend. Omgah, a weekend. Like a normal couple.

I hope my Spring semester is better. I'm not feeling this semester at all.

Dear Jesus, please give me a job. 2m I also have the phone interview with the people for being a demo rep for Petco. Yay. Hopefully I get it. Which makes me want to go browse jobs now.

I feel like I should talk a/b this situation. I think you need to let him go. He's a grown man, and you can no longer baby him. I'm going to be the bigger person and release it. One day a week with my boyfriend. This isn't fair, but I don't want to be the reason you're bitching at him. So fine, I'll step back. But you need to realize that I'm not, and lemme repeat that, not leaving. Stan is my boyfriend, whether you or anybody else likes it. We're going to be together forever. You're not going to be able to keep him. And I hope that when the day comes along where me and Stan are married, that you're not gonna be one of those shitty mother in laws who controls her son's every move. I'm holding my tongue for now b/c I have respect. But you gotta give to get. Gotta be cruel to be kind.

I don't know how much of this I can take. Things with Stan were just getting good. And then.. this happens. I'll see what happens. But if it reaches the point where I'm feeling neglected.. AGAIN, and I start looking elsewhere, I might just have to step back. Re-evaluate our situation b/c I know I don't deserve this. I know it. Even thinking a/b this sucks. I just did this big FB thing and kept saying how I didn't remember the last time I cried.. ahahaha, if only I waited a few more hours. Stupid.

Aww, man, I love my boyfriend.

So, he's definitely working on his attitude. Today, I knew it was gonna be a hard day. Rough, long, annoying, b/c I was taking Stan to Concord to buy a car. I wasn't expecting to be left alone for an hour and a half, but I toughed it out. Texted a few people, did a few things online, didn't complain. Then Stan came back and was a bit sad b/c the guy was asking for too much. The guy wanted $11000, for a 17 year old car. Stan said he would go as low as $10, but that guy wouldn't budge. So, we pretty much drove to Concord for nothing. Then we left the house and had to pee. Like really bad. And I saw a Costco and decided to pull over and go to that bathroom b/c I wasn't gonna be able to hold it. Then we got hungry. And couldn't decide on what to eat, as always. We decided on Chili's. And then it was HELLA good. Or the appetizer was. Those nacho things. Ahahahaha. And then, he paid. He wouldn't even let me pay. Like, he wouldn't budge. And he paid for toll. This REALLY isn't like him. I was taken aback by these actions he showed. I'm really happy. I'm happy that he's working on his attitude. It made me feel really special today. When he acts this way, I want to give him everything I can.

2m is the puppy shopping day. I'm excited. Just a small cage for the dog w/ a bed in it and a little tin for food and water. I'm gonna be home lots now this semester, and I think the people at the rink will be okay if I bring it in occasionally. And Stan's cleaning the cage. I'm happy I don't have to help, but I'm gonna help. Esp if it's raining. I want to get it over with. And maybe with a clean these pesty ass flies will go away. I'm hoping so. Seriously. I'm gonna spray the room while he's outside and fan it out. Then maybe it'll work.

I'd blog a/b what happened to my car, but it upsets me. Like, REALLY bad. Stupid bitch and her dog fucked up my car. I'm so sad. Like, disappointed sad.

I have to work on my speech. It's due Friday. It sucks. I have NO idea what I want to say. Well, I know what I want to say, but I need to know how to phrase it, and that I have no idea to do. Ugh.

I've had some inquires a/b jobs this past week. Hopefully I get something. I keep applying to places too. Good news maybe ? I hope so. The more I save for this valenersary gift the better.

Hmm.

Yesterday, I splurged. I refuse to spend anymore money. Ugh, I bought TWO new pair of shoes. One I really needed. I needed some black flats, just all day whenever throw on type of flats. And since we were at Payless and they were having bogo, I had to get another pair. So I got these purple polka flats. I guess I needed purple flats. Ahahaha. Um, I bought HELLA purple stuff these past few days. No more purple. And I need winter clothes. Keep that in mind for me for when I go shopping next time. And then at Wet Seal they were having a 5 for $20 sale on alla their sale items. So I saw this really cute shirt and top. And then I was frustrated b/c I didn't see anything else. Like, wtf ? Then I decided to get another of the skirt I already had. Then I was upset b/c the shirt had a hole in it, so I had to get something else. And there wasn't anything. So I wound up leaving Wet Seal with three of the same skirt in different colors in tadly different prints. Then in Charlotte, I didn't really see anything. These one pair of pants were hella cute, so I got those. And a few tops. And a dress. I don't even really wear dresses. But this is good b/c I need to get out of this screen tee thing. I'm gonna donate alla the ones I don't wear. Time to empty the closet again. Yay. Ahaha. Um.. what else is there to blab a/b ? Newport Mall sucks. Ahaha. Ohh, the long sleeve purple shirt that I tried on. The most hilarious thing that I've done. Ahaha. I tried on this REALLY cute shirt. I got a medium b/c normally mediums fit. This shirt didn't work for me at all. The part that was supposed to be a vneck around the bust was like completely covering my chest. Ahahaha. It was soo funny. I died with that. Um, yea.

I wanna go out one of these weekends like how me and the girls used too. To try to help us get off of our gramma status. Ahahah. We sleep hella early. Like, we just die. It's so sad. We had to force ourselves to stay up past 10. Ahahaha.

This is the boyfriend's last day of work for ProPark. He's now a City Employee. Yay ! Ahahah. I'm soo happy. Now I gotta look for a job. A person just called from this interior design job that I applied for. He said he'll call back if he wants me. I doubt he will, but it never hurts to be a bit hopeful. I look everyday for jobs. The majority of the jobs suck, or I can't do it b/c of timing and scheduling. I wanna go apply at Charlotte in Tanforan. Hmm..

Today the girls are supposed to be coming over. When they do, I'll put up the laundry. Maybe. It's really cold in my house today. And now alla sudden I'm lightheaded. Ahaha. I should nap. Toodles noodles.

Hmm.

So.. Thursday was a semi weird day. I wasn't expecting what happened to happen. It started off w/ Stan canceling our Thursday afternoon chill b/c he had to go to a fitting for his uniform. I didn't know he was going with Paul until after he TOLD me that we should watch Paranormal State with Paul and his coworker. Which, I just found out is REALLY young. If Paul's older than Stan, and she's younger than me, that's young. Mmhmm. Anyway.. none of that happened. We just went to eat. Then I got upset b/c Stan was neglecting me. He doesn't think of his actions or lack there of. So I kinna blew up at him b/c I had it. Then he tried to apologize as we were leaving on the bike w/h was prolly difficult b/c you can't really hold a conversation on that thing. It's loud and the helmet and yea. But anyway, we semi reached a conclusion. Then we decided to go see Toy Story, but left b/c you know how I get during movies. And then we came home and he's like I can't continue b/c I feel bad. And that tripped me the FUCK out. Like, he STOPPED b/c he felt bad. Then we talked a/b it and he honestly did feel bad. I was shocked. He's like, I shouldn't treat you how I treat you and not expect you to be upset. And I was like wow. It took him a year and a half, but he finally got it. Now let's see what he does to act on this.

Today I'm hanging out with Lindsey! Yay. I'm excited. I haven't seen her in a looong time. We're eating at Pasta Pomordo on California. Yummy. I should be in process of getting ready, but I'm a procrastinator. I'll look up the menu and directions. I should look up how to get to her house. Ahahah. I'm also supposed to be going to the Mighty4 thingy in Oakland, but Idk if I'll go b/c it'll take a/b an hour to eat, then to pick up Jess & Katt it'll be already around 2. Then a/b 45 minutes to drive out there, to spend two hours in Oakland ? Hmm.. we could go to Walmart and play around there. What malls are in Oakland ? I'll gts too.

Um, I think that's all I have to blog a/b today. Time to change my FB status and google a million things.

YAY !

I haven't been here in forever, and I'm coming back with some pretty damn good news.

Congrats to Stanislav K. Bratchikov to making it in to San Francisco Police Academy, class 227.

I'm soo happy for my boyfriend. His DREAM came true. So for alla those people who say that the American Dream isn't achievable, you've been proven wrong. Work hard it, and you'll be where you wanna be. My boyfriend is going to be a police officer. How many 22 year-olds do you know that have a career ? Hmm ? I don't know of any, besides my boyfriend. And Paul. Ahaha. I'm soo happy for my Bunny. Woohoo.

So.. anyway, with that being said, there is a LOT that I need to do. Step my game up in school. I dropped CADD b/c I wasn't feeling Francisco. Deleted that other blog.. ugh. I need to get a job. Spend smarter. Figure out what I wanna do to be a zoologist. Or a vet. In case I decide to change majors.

Must get a job. Must get a job. And on that note, I have an interview on Friday. And I'm excited a/b that. I'm gonna go to Charlotte in Tanforan and apply there. Even though it's WAYY low minimum wage, I must do it to make my boyfriend proud.

Ugh.

I've had it w/ planning this vacation. So many things have come up and so many things are preventing it that I've reached a point where I just don't care anymore. I'm gonna be REALLY bummed if I book alla this and then Stan gets in the Academy and I have to cancel. That's a big worry in the back of my mind. Ugh, there really isn't winning. Should I just stop with this damn thing ? Let it be. Save my big trip for never ? My 'a' key is really sticky, just as a side note. Ohh, and then my dad is like you can use my credit. Yea, he said that OUTTA nowhere. That's kinna irking. I asked him for that a looong ass time ago. And now it expires on Monday, so it pressures me and Stan to make a decision hella soon a/b our trip. And he's like I'm too tired to be making a choice right now. Which kinna upset me.

And in other bad news, my cell phone is HELLA acting up. My text is being super retarded and simply not working. It won't send. I can receive, but not send. It's pissing me off.

I'm debating dropping CADD. I don't think I can pass w/ this teacher. He's bad. I should rate him. Ahahaha. He's so artsty. I need direction in a class. I don't learn by feeling the key strokes and hearing things. If that means retaking it and staying at City longer, than be it. I'm not putting myself through torture. I'll make my decision 2m after talking it over with Stan and seeing what my options are.

Um, I got a weird phone call from a person that I'd like to leave anon. I wasn't expecting this call, and I ended it as soon as I could. It was random. Lots of pauses. Lots of um's and so's, and awkward silences. I have no idea why this person called. This call put me in a strange position.

2m is Demari's game. I'm going with Katy and Demonte. I wanna go shopping for a bit too out there. Are there good malls ? I wanna buy sweaters and long sleeves since I'm outgrowing alla my screen tees. Now I gotta google stuff.

I'm procrastinating taking this pill b/c I can't swallow it (even though I cracked them in half with mom's pill cracker) so I bite them a bit. Then they dissolve and that taste is so gross. I should've went with the cream. Prolly wouldn't have been as long for going w/o sexytime too. Ahahaha.

Mmkay, pill time, then pee time. Then.. Idk. Google ? Ahahaha.