Like, I know what I did was wrong, worse than what he did. But why do I feel like I'm the only one putting in effort ? Like, I still need to prove myself ? We both messed up in this relationship. His lack of interest in me had me do things that I shouldn't have. I gave in to temptation and now I'm fighting for what I want in the long run, not just in the moment. But he still needs to show me that he's changed. I'd still like to feel those romantic things. Sweet nothings. Things just never seem to go how I want. In the end, I'll do whatever I can to get him back and to show him that I'm the one for him. I just hope that he makes his changes, or else this is gonna be a very one sided relationship. It seems that way now, but now I understand it. It's because I messed up and b/c of what I did was wrong. It hurt. It hurt me. I can't believe what I did. And I'm sorry. I'm working on myself. He just needs to see it.
I'm done w/ this class. And the teacher is like today's the last day to drop. I'm not gonna drop. I'll turn in the final and see what happens there. I'll even turn in alla my half done assignments. Even though none are complete, it'll be points that I won't have. So I guess it's better than nothing.
I'm sick. Whenever I think of the situation, or when he says something, I get sick. I wanna go back to the gym. A cardio class. Hip hop or something.
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