Day One

Today marks the first day I'm house sitting. Um, it's rather boring. I think it would be easier if Stan had FULL cable on alla TV's in his house. I watched Twilight Zone earlier with Katt and then I took her home and came back, ate dinner, and watched disc one of the Dead Zone. Now I'm blogging before I get in that bed and KO. His blanket for the couch makes me sneeze. I think I'm allergic to wool. Instead of wearing my jammies, I'm wearing things of his. I found the first Valentine's day card that I made him. I instantly started to tear up. I miss him so much.

2m should be more entertaining. I'll be cleaning, and going out with my girls. Yay. That's gonna be fun.

I'm tired, and I miss you. You need to come home to me Bunny. NOW.

So..

I finished my community service today. It was soo hard. Stupid tall ass broom.

As of 2m, I'll be staying at Stan's house.

I miss my boyfriend soo much. What I did was stupid. I'm such an idiot. But I'm grateful to have gotten him back. I love you so, Stanislav. I hope you can see it.

Perfection.. then anger.

So, I should probably start off w/ the most perfect sleepover that I've had w/ Stan. It was amazing. All of two days. Monday, I woke up and had to run over to that damn courthouse to fix my no insurance ticket, again. Mom took me and Joi came. There was this Asian man at the window next to me who just stinky. It was so gross. I had to pay $25 and that was all solved. Came back home and waited and waited for my Bunny to get ready so we can go to the doctor. Since there was traffic and b/c it wasn't an appt we went to his work first b/c he had to drop some stuff off to Javier. Then we went to the doctor and took my test. I think that's when we both started to get hungry, so we decided on Mexican. Went to this place near his house and got food. It wasn't all that good. I was very disappointed. Then we just cuddled and watched his "cable." Somehow sexytime started, but it didn't finish b/c we decided to go to Nick's house. We didn't loud talk and/or laugh. Watched magic, Wipeout, and Big Bang. Had some drinks, the usual. And then we went back to Stan's. It was actually nice not having to worry about driving all the way to my house and him going back home. Or me dropping him off and then going to his house. Just going to one place was nice. Went home.. finished sexytime. Tuesday we woke up around 2:30. I checked my email and was shocked to see that my test results were already up. Negative, btw. Woot woot. So I woke up and got hungry and wanted pancakes, and since I was negative, I got to have them. Then me and Stan went to the bank and tried to figure out something to do. We decided on Japanese Tea Garden and it turns out it's a $5 entrance fee, and neither of us carried cash w/ us. So we went across the street to the Botanical Garden and saw squirrels. Hella them. We went on this trail and that was nice. And we saw this girl who was deathly afraid of squirrels. She was our entertainment. Then we decided to go and rent some movies. We got the movies, went to the store to buy gravy. We got Miss March and My Best Friend's Girl. They were both pretty good. We invited Nick over for dinner (smashed potatoes, meatloaf, gravy, and corn) and drinks. Watched the movies, and it took Nick forever to leave. I just wanted to sexytime my boyfriend. So, sexytimed, ko'ed. Wednesday just woke up and had to leave so Stan can leave & go to Russian River. Turns out after he dropped me off I left my wallet at his house, so I had to go back. Had to call Katt to make her drive so it's all legal. And that was when I saw Paul for the first time. He looked just as surprised as I did. And much shorter than I remember him. Ahahha. You don't gotta like me, but you will respect me. I miss Stan already. The cuddling was so nice. Staying up until 430 am. Smelling him. Rolling over and he's still wanting to snuggle. His morning kisses. Smooth g'morning hugs. This is gonna be the longest week of my life w/o him.

My TV's retarded. It's busted. And me and mom and dad got into this fight b/c it's broken and I had nothing to do. She said I could go to Stan's, and then she's like stay home. I hate when she does that. And that's what upsets me. It's fixed, but Idk for how long.

I'm finishing my community service 2m. I hope I can leave early b/c I only have five hours left. I don't wanna be there all day 2m.

That guy who's interviewing me for the book has a little kid voice.

Wicked is happening on Saturday, and then we're going to In 'N Out. Maybe get a doughnut if Stan allows it. That bitch better have my dough. Ahahahah.

2m is Mom's bday dinner. Desi was supposed to be coming and picking up Gramma, and that doesn't look like it's gonna happen. She's like Idk if I'm even going. She's missed mom's bday the past three years. She's gonna get it.

I'm so excited for my birthday. I get to spend five days w/ Stan. Doing what I want. Waking up and going to sleep with him. Loving him.

27 more days motha fucka. Ya tebya lublu.

Hmm.

So, I did something, and found something. I wasn't even looking for it. But shit came up. I don't wanna bring it up. I don't want something to come up and we're done. But I know I can't hold this in. It's unfair to me. I'm confused in this situation. I honestly don't know what to do. Should I tell you and risk losing everything ? Should I keep it in and wonder what the hell is going on between you two ? This is the absolute worst position that I can find myself in. I didn't want to see what I did. It hurts. I could be acting like a girl and be blowing things completely outta proportion. I kinna hope I am.

So 2m is the sleepover. Idk how it's even gonna go now that I saw that.

My stomach hurts.

Exhausted

Right now, I'm functioning off of two hours of sleep, and a recent one hour nap. I should start w/ last night, since that's when it all went down.

Last night:
I was upset b/c Stan disappeared on me. I don't think he realizes what that's like. So I was all nonchalant and told him that I was gonna ko, around 12. I didn't hear from him until about 1. Carrots started making noise so I decided to Google ways to help her fall asleep. Apparently since rabbits have big ears they like noise. That's why when it's quiet she likes to bang alla her crap around. So I turned on the comp and put on Pandora and she was instantly quiet. Geeze. Now I gotta sleep w/ Pandora on so Carrots can stfu. Then b/c I was all upset at Stan b/c he disappeared and b/c I worried, I decided to text him and let him know how I felt. This is around 3am. We talked and talked and he shut me down and we talked and talked until EVERYTHING was out in the open. We talked until about 6am. We talked about it all, and I felt really good.

T0day:
It was Katt's bday bbq. I had to be at her house at 10am. I didn't sleep until 7. I saw a really good episode of Law & Order SVU and had to watch it. It was really good. Then I took a nap basically, since I had to be up at nine. And my nap wasn't even all that good. I was also upset b/c Carrots was making hella noise. I like sleeping in silence. She's such a bitch. Anyway, Katt calls me around 9 so I can wake up and start to get ready. I was exhausted, but had enough energy to go. I walk over there and her entire family was outside. It was awkward. And then on the way over there we got lost. Google maps didn't know there was construction happening so we went all the wrong way. I pulled out my handy dandy GPS and got us there. Then we had to go all around looking for a place to bbq. We actually found a really nice spot. The food was good. I'm sad that are playground area wasn't fun though. It was for the little kids. It said for kids ages 2-12, but I think 5 would've been the limit. The things were so low and small. The slide wasn't even a slide. I sat on it and my feet reached the bottom. We then went to the water area and attempted to fly a kite but it broke and then we reattached it, and then it worked. Then we went home. I walked Prince and ko'ed. It was a bomb nap.

2m:
I'm getting Carrots a new litter box, critter litter, and food if it's under $2o. Then I'm cleaning and packing for my sleeepover. Yay ! I'm so excited. I gotta get his suprise ready. Hella fun. Sexyyyy. And then I gotta get ready to cook for him. Play married couple for a day. Ohh, and doctor's appt.

StanBratchikovIsAmazing. IDon'tGiveAFuckAboutWhatAnybodyElseSays. ILoveHimLikeNoOther.

Dear World,

Why are you so cruel to me ? I know I've done some fucked up things, but I'm changing my ways. I've done the best things lately, and I've gotten NOTHING in return. Why do you give me alla these wonderful opportunities and them take them from me ? For practice ? I don't need anymore. I want to be like everybody else. I don't like my disability. I don't want it anymore. It's not fair. And there isn't anything I can do about it. I guess I can file a lawsuit against the county of San Francisco for not giving me a job, but would that be right ? I want to do something, I want to be a voice for all of those who are too scared to speak up for themselves. What can I do ? Google will be my new best friend for this. I want to be treated as an individual. Not only am I black, I'm female, and I stutter. I faced with the worst disabilities and I don't think I'm strong enough to overcome these things. I have no shoulder to really cry on anymore since me and Stan aren't fully together atm. It's me. And I know I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. I need fighting forces. Maybe there's a group somewhere in SF that I can go to.

I want Stan back. I'm doing all that I can. I've moved him first, and I don't think he realizes it. I'm living my life for him. I'm making all of my choices based on what would make him happy. I want to be appreciated for that.

2m I'm going w/ Katt and her family to Coyote Point. I'm excited. More time outta the house. I need it, badly.

That's my update.

Oh wait, I love my dog, and I'm getting him a doggy bed.

Untitled.

Happy 22nd Stanislav. I love you. I hope you have an awesome birthday.

I have to retake that class.

My stomach hurts. I make myself sick when I upset you. I'm sorry.

I'm gonna have a pretty boring day today. Staying home for the most part.

Life sucks. Options, priorities. Get your straight. I got mine. My number one is no longer my number one.

Recap; I'm a lucky bitch.

So.. I love this life of mine. Even though I'm on probation, I still get a lot. I respect the rules, but that doesn't mean that I can't try to bend them, right ? Mmkay, so anyway, I should recap Monday.

Class, doctor's appointment, home w/ sexytime, Nick's house, home w/ sexytime, KO. Now for the elaboration. Class.. I'm not gonna get into that. That's a waste of my breath. Doctor's appointment though, I'll talk about that. I might not even have eczema. And I found out I was putting a steroid on my face, w/h is why it was spreading. That stupid durka durka doctor. And the thing on my boob will FINALLY get looked at. They're gonna biopsy it. I'm scared about that though. I've never had anything biopsied. Does that hurt ? It just sounds painful. So the appointment was over and then I was SOOO hungry and we had to go over to the other campus and get my prescription. We got in line, I talked to a pharmacist, and he said to just go straight to him once I saw my name on the board. Instead of waiting doing nothing listening to my stomach grumble, we went to the bakery and ate. I had chicken dumplings w/ rice. I was putting hot sauce on them and Stan decided to have one and he died. I'm sorry, Bunny, but you should've known better. Then once we were done my name was already on the board and I got my stuff. Then we came back to my house and chilled. Sexytime. Omgah, it was just soo good. Nick's house. Pizza, Bailey's, magic, movies. Ahahah. Somebody called the cops on us. The cop came and said, "I was standing outside for five minutes and heard loud talking and/or laughing." Yes, b/c we just laugh to each other w/o talking and know why we're laughing. What a dumb ass cop. I'm happy that the cop didn't come in though. Ahahah. I didn't even eat my doughnut. *Sadface. Home, more sexytime, and then I straight ko'ed. Ohh, somewhere in that process, Stan left his keys at Nick's so he had to take my car. Which brings me to today.

I'm lucky b/c I got to see him today, on a technicality. Since he took my car to bring himself home, he had to come over to give it back and get his bike. Ahh, yes. But before I get into what me and him did, I gotta briefly state that I'll pass this class thanks to Heidi, and that I had a job interview. I'll be _______. C= The interview was at the retail stores of the 49ers. I'll love this job. I hope I get it. So.. Stan came over and we snuggled. It's amazing. I was an idiot, and I'm paying the price. It's worth it. He's worth it all.

I should start on my work, but I'm a procrastinator. I'll fly through it once I'm getting it done though. And I'll whiz through the hard stuff 2m and then do alla my final stuff 2m night. I should pass w/ a flimsly C, but it's better than nothing.

ilovestanislavkbratchikov. hesamazingandiwannamarryhim.

Things I wish I could say to you, but I can't.

I dislike how I go outta my way for you and you just don't seem appreciative. I dislike how I function around your time and your schedule. I dislike how you call out the obvious, state stories multiple, and sometimes how you push me to do things I know I shouldn't even be doing. I already told alla this to the other member, it's just you who I don't feel comfortable, I just don't know how to word it with you. I have a feeling that if I bring this up something big will come outta it, an dI don't need that. I don't even want that. I just want you to know how I feel.

So, yesterday we went to Hot Pot. Yay ! That was my first time, and I REALLY like it. It's fun, making your own food. I wanna go back there with Stan. It'll be way fun.

I've decided to ask Heidi if I can just borrow a few of her assignments and copy them b/c I don't wanna have to retake this class. Hopefully she'll say yes.

2m, finally Monday. This week I'm seeing Stan on Monday b/c we're going to Nick's. I'm gonna write him a letter b/c I feel it needs to be done. I wanna apologize to him. Then Tuesday I'll give Stan his surprise and maybe chill with him for a little bit.

I have my second opinion 2m too. I don't care if they tell me it's eczema again, I just want a cream that'll help it go away.

I should be doing this project, but I'll arrive at school early 2m. End of story.

Ventalation.

So, I've realized I'm not gonna let this birthday thing go. I wanna, but I can't. It sucks when your best friends can't come to your birthday celebration, two years in a row. I mean, I know it's outta your hands, but that doesn't meant that it's not gonna hurt.

I'm bummed about a lot of things. I'm going into a slight depression.

People should stay outta other people's business unless invited. I'm not gonna point anybody out. It's just that you made yourself look stupid.

Soo.. I think I need new friends. Ahahaa. Or just more time w/ the friends I have now. I just need to be out more. A job would be lovely.

Daniella needs to hurry up w/ this baby shower thing. Ahahah.

I can't think of anything major for this blog.

2m we'll be going to the rink and that Mexican place and great mall. I should map it all out. Hopefully I get to leave class early.

Creations tonight, but I'm not gonna get anything big.

It's a bit discomforting.

Like, I know what I did was wrong, worse than what he did. But why do I feel like I'm the only one putting in effort ? Like, I still need to prove myself ? We both messed up in this relationship. His lack of interest in me had me do things that I shouldn't have. I gave in to temptation and now I'm fighting for what I want in the long run, not just in the moment. But he still needs to show me that he's changed. I'd still like to feel those romantic things. Sweet nothings. Things just never seem to go how I want. In the end, I'll do whatever I can to get him back and to show him that I'm the one for him. I just hope that he makes his changes, or else this is gonna be a very one sided relationship. It seems that way now, but now I understand it. It's because I messed up and b/c of what I did was wrong. It hurt. It hurt me. I can't believe what I did. And I'm sorry. I'm working on myself. He just needs to see it.

I'm done w/ this class. And the teacher is like today's the last day to drop. I'm not gonna drop. I'll turn in the final and see what happens there. I'll even turn in alla my half done assignments. Even though none are complete, it'll be points that I won't have. So I guess it's better than nothing.

I'm sick. Whenever I think of the situation, or when he says something, I get sick. I wanna go back to the gym. A cardio class. Hip hop or something.

A pretty damn good day.

So, woke up, showered, got ready for school. I'm gonna have to retake that class. So yea. Whatever. Hopefully I can get in around the time of my CADD class for next semester. Or just take CADD and act like this class never happened. Ahaha. It's so pointless. I hate it.

Anyway, it's a Tuesday so that means I get to see my Bunny. It was SOO nice getting to see him again. This shit is frustrating, seeing him once a week. But I know why he's doing it. He just needs me to feel it. And trust and believe me whenever I say I do feel it.
-So.. what did we do today ? We started off with the Beach. We went w/ no jackets or gloves. Rebels w/o a cause. Ahahah. We walked the beach and there were these bug things that just made my legs itch, so I wanted to turn around. And the sand was HELLA hot so I wasn't feeling walking back w/o my shoes on. Mind you I had on flats. So, we ran up this hill b/c I didn't wanna walk in the sand back up that way. It was actually nice walking on the sidewalk. That part of our day just didn't go as planned. Not romantic at all. Ahaha. But we laughed it off. Then we went home so he can put his sweater back on. Then headed to the pet store. Yay. He's definitely decided on a turtle, and he already has a name picked out. Ahahaha, guess what it is ? SQUIRTLE. Isn't that just precious ? I'm getting him the turtle, cage, food, and an instructional manual. So.. that should be good. But, I have to wait until he gets back from his trip b/c I'm not gonna take care of it while's he's gone b/c I have no space. After the pet store, we went next door to the Chinese food place to eat. Yummy. I had curry chicken and rice and he had sweet and sour chicken and rice. The place is soo good. Then we had to go to the post office b/c he had to ship stuff. He always has to ship stuff lately. But whatever. Then we came home and kissied and cuddled. It was sooo nice, just being about to snuggle with him. Commercial break kissies and everything. Sexytime. But this was different. I cried. He's gonna take me back at the end of the summer. But that doesn't mean things will instantly be okay. I know that I'll still have a lot to work on. But, I can say that I've made major improvements in myself. He left, and it was so hard to say goodbye. I hate letting him go.

I gotta do this project, figure out where everything is, find perfect dimensions, ect.

The weekend, kinna looking foward to it, but not really.

I'm soo sleepyface. Maybe I should just skip class 2m. It's pointless.

I love Stanislav with everything I have.

Tomorrow is the day!

Yes. I get to see Bunny, finally. We have a lot planned for 2m. He's picking me up at home and then we're going to the beach for a stroll. Then we're coming back towards my house to check out this pet store and Chinese food place. The pet store is so Stan can browse and see what kind of pet he wants for his birthday present. I'm so excited. I'm taking pride in my appearance for him now. I know I don't have to impress him, but I think this would be a positive step considering the circumstances. And I do wanna go back to the gym. I just have no motivation atm. I should, since I'm paying for it every month. And I'm in better health.

HEALTH ! That reminds me. I finally got my appointment to talk to another dermatologist for a second opinion. I'm bringing all of the creams and ointments that I've been putting on my face to show them. I hope I get something that works this time. This morning, when I woke up and washed my face, my skin just peeled off. It was the FREAKIEST and most scary thing that has happened to me.

Roller rinking this weekend with the girls. I really don't wanna go. I'm seriously upset by the whole birthday thing. And then Chelsea's thing is also that night. Something that I feel is gonna be awkward. But whatever. I'm gonna go b/c Jess pretty much convinced me. It's whatever. I'm... I'm not feelin' it.

I'm prolly gonna have to retake this class. =/

Lazy Sundays.

I'm always down for a day of doing nothing, but sometimes I just wanna get out and do something. Today is simply one of those days. I'm doing nothing, but wanna do something. But I know myself and if the chance presented itself for me to go out, I would more than likely deny it. B/c I'm lazy.

So, Jess is coming back and we're planning on going back to the ROLLER RINK ! Yay ! I love roller rinking. Even though I just fall. It's still gonna be HELLA fun. Ahaahaha. The one in San Jose is SOO confusing. We might just have to go back to the one in Antioch b/c that one is easier to understand.

Stan's leaving soon for Russian River. :( It's sad b/c I'm not gonna have him for a week and half. Home for the most of that time too b/c I'll be outta school. Maybe Jess will be back and I'll be able to take my mind of things that way.

1.5 year is coming up. I don't even think he realizes it. I'm kinna planning something special, and he's just gonna go along w/ it. I just gotta get the main gift and somehow hide it before he sees. Another time where I gotta plan an outfit. Hopefully it'll be hot out there. I think I already have something. Yay.

I wanna change the bedding in my room. Something purple. And I wanna paint my walls. I'm gonna look online for bedding.

TYB. ILY.

Procrastination.

So, I was procrastinating cleaning my room for the LONGEST time, but I finally got around to it, and I'm happy about that. I'm glad it's finally clean in here. I feel less cluttered and more organized.

I finally got around to my hours for my ticket today. I seriously need to thank Curt for telling me about Project 20. I SUPER lucked out today. I rode around w/ a guy (who I think I should keep nameless b/c we broke the rules and I don't wanna get him in trouble) and he didn't make us do anything. In the truck, it was three more girls. We just rode around and did nothing. We're supposed to be doing community service and picking up trash, but the guy was sooo nice. We didn't have to pick up anything. I picked up TWO things. And then he took me home. Well, dropped me off at the park. I met a few nice girls along the way though.

Stan's birthday is coming up. I'm getting him a pet, any kind of his choosing w/in my price range, and then I'm surprising him. I think this surprise will be the best one. And then next month, I also already have that planned. It's something so small and minor, but I hope he gets the message.

Katy's birthday is also coming up. Wicked, yay. Dad's being a jerk and not allowing me to buy the tickets w/ the card and we pay him back, so Idk what we can do. (Side note: I'm looking at Carrots and she has a piece of the bedding on her whisker and it was just hanging there. She's a cutie pie.) I hope that old man will come back around to his senses and will see that this is better in the long run.

Mom's birthday is also coming up. We're not gonna be doing anything big b/c Joi will be away going White Water Rafting with her Summer Escape program. I'm happy b/c whenever she's gone the house is so quiet and peaceful, and I don't have headaches. And I love not having headaches.

I want Greg to come out here. I miss my cousin. Him and mom have the same birth date. I wanna take him out here to a nice club so he can party SF style and get his freak on w/ the bay chicks. Ahahaha.

So, I need to vent about this, b/c it just has to come out. Auntie Christine is SUCH a weirdo. She's gonna move to get Kile in a good school b/c it's outta the district or something. And she has no money. And she's trynna move into a one bedroom apt. She needs to just come back out here, b/c LA isn't doing anything for her anymore and she can't afford to be out there on her own. She's calling up here every so often for money. It's frustrating b/c she's trying to be independent, but she's not doing a good job and I'm tired of hearing it.

Things w/ Stan and I are looking up, and that makes me REALLY happy. Though we're not alla way official yet, it's better than nothing. I'm still on probation, but I get him whenever I need him. I love him. Thank you.

Just to get it out there.

First and foremost, Carrots' cage stinks. I wish it was still the small cage so I can clean it on my own instead of waiting for people to help me clean it. I mean, it smells so foul. I'd love ANYBODY who would volunteer cleaning the cage or helping me clean it every week. Omgah, I'm not even gonna be able to sleep in here tonight if the smells continue. I keep spraying deodorizing sprays in hopes to mask the smell, and it helps, but not nearly enough.

I'm sick, btw. Stomach flu. Throwing up, shortness of breath, yay me. It's stomach flu. Ugh. I hope it gets better soon.

I need to pass this class or else I'm gonna be way behind in my next Arch class w/h means that I'll be behind. Boob. I'm just gonna bullshit my way through the rest though.

So, I've planned my birthday. I told EVERYBODY just about a year in advance. And things came up. Hell motha fuckin' yes, I'm bummed. I'm sad. I'm pissed, I'm upset. But there's nothing I can do. I guess it was just meant to be that neither of my best friends were able to come through, two years in a row. I know that they're there for me when I need them most, but the simple fact that it seems like it's gonna be two years in a row is VERY upsetting. It makes me wanna cry. And for Jess to toss how I missed her bday in my face, that was just fucked up. I missed your bday b/c I wasn't gonna drive up there on my own to a party where I was prolly gonna be the only person that I knew. And then have to drive back. That upset me. Don't throw shit in my face like that. And I WON'T miss two in a row. I understand that you have something to do. It's just upsetting. I still love you, just don't toss shit at me like that, b/c I won't EVER do that to you.
-So, about my birthday. I'm going to Disneyland. And Universal and lots of other places. Since it's just me & Stan, we're gonna stay at an Extended Stay Hotel. My original plan was to stay at a vacation home, but that's pointless now. I still wanna go to LA and shop and eat at Pinkberry's and Pink's hot dogs and whatever else. I just won't do it to that extreme. I'm actually really excited about alla this. I'm gonna have a bomb ass birthday. Minus my best friends. But I have my boyfriend. Yay.

Thank you SKB. Olive juice.

I'm back, with the good news.

So, I said I won't be back until I got good news, and I did.

Yesterday, 7.7.09, was when I got back w/ Stan. I never pursued something so big, so hard, for so long. I guess I never really wanted something as bad as I want Stan. So, I need to thank Jess b/c she kept me sane throughout the entire time. Each & every time I had a breakdown, she was there to comfort and console me. And I have to thank Katt b/c she came along w/ me on my under cover operation and she forced herself to stay awake even though she was way tired.

Now, I did some unbelievable things that prolly should be mentioned, like decorating his bike w/ balloons and a love letter, & getting his name tattooed on me. (It's on the back, like, under the bra strap. Don't think I'm walking around w/ a tramp stamp.)

I did some very bad things. I once was a very bad person. But now, I'm a good person and will only do the best things, for myself, for Stan, for the sake of our relationship. I'm on my last chance, and I won't lose it b/c I did something stupid. I love him so much, w/ everything I have. So, what else is there to say ? I spent everyday thinking of ways to get him back. I was gonna get a loan to get him a car, but I'm glad I tossed that out the window.

It happened yesterday, after a wonderful day at the Alameda County Fair (minus that one ride that made us both feel queasy). Well, at the fair, we went on alla rides even though he felt sick at the beginning. I loved the Ferris Wheels. We went on both and they were so nice and so relaxing. I loved it. And the queasy rides weren't all that bad except for like, two. That roller coaster thing that tossed you around and the cage ride thing. It was horrible. I got to have a corndog. Yay, me. So after a few hours there, we headed back home. Stopped on the way to grab some Jack in the Box, and home to eat it. Then after digesting.. sexytime. Lalalalove it. During the foreplay, I asked him several times to take me back, expecting him to say no. But he surprised me and said yes. I was like, really ? And he said yes, and we kissed. Then we finished, and I asked him again, just to be sure. He could've been all jk about the situation since I asked when he was heavy pursued. But he meant it.

I'm still on "probation". Idk when this probation will be over though. And the probation sucks. I get to see him once a week. Imo, it's better than nothing, but it still sucks. I can't complain though. I'm now playing by his rules. So yea, I'm back with good news.

In school news, I hate that class. It's retarded, it should die. The teacher, he's weird. Like his voice is soo like.. the teacher from Peanuts. He's so boring. But whatever. I'm gonna ace this final. I'm gonna bring an old floor plan and try to make it look good. I'm registered for Fall classes. I'm pissed b/c one class I wanted was cancelled, so then I had to fill it w/ a GE class. And now w/ that, I have an hour split. And I have ONE class on Friday, but at least it's at 10 so it's not that bad. My classes are all over the place though and Thursdays suck b/c I have a lab that lasts until 5p.m. But with alla that, I should be ready to go by the end of the Spring.

I wanna say more, but there's no point. I should just move on & be done with it. I have to get mom ice cream from San Bruno. Mind you it's 5pm right now, and that street is gonna be insane. I MUST clean Carrots' cage 2m. It smells horrible. That stupid bitch.