Quick Procrastination

So, I'm upset b/c I wasn't excused from jury duty and I have to go back in April. Assholes. I wanted to be called so I can hopefully be excused, but no. I just got a postponement. During spring break. I hate it.

I have HELLA homework to do tonight, so I'm really trying to make this quick. Once I get my own spot, I'm seriously buying a big desk for the homework that I'm going to be doing.

So, I'm seeing Stan once this week, and that's a big maybe. It's whatever though. I just want him to actually make it up to me. Take some time outta his day to be like I'm sorry and I still care. Why doesn't he see that ? Ugh. It's whatever.

Mmkay, I'm getting started on Geology, then Russian, the art. Hopefully I finish alla this shit before I die.

Tired

So, today was a semi long day. I woke up around 430am b/c I was having a TERRIBLE dream. It seems less weird once I say it out loud, but when it was happening it was so weird. I don't even wanna talk a/b it. I had to watch some tv to get it outta my head. Then I went back to sleep. Woke up, slept. Woke up, slept. Finally woke up perm. so I could start getting ready to go to Demari's game. It was soo cute. I'm too lazy to get my cord to upload pictures, but hopefully I'll be doing that 2m. We won, 24-12, since they don't do field goals. Demari doesn't get what to do, but it's still cute. He tackled a few people. Hopefully he'll get better as time goes on. Then after the parents left and we all went to Sizzler. My god, I'm not eating w/ my family ever again. They're ghetto. Yoyo is just loud. Herman is rude. And he tried to make me steal his hot sauce by putting it in my purse, and then he had the nerve to hit me b/c I took it out. My own father doesn't hit me, just fyi. Gramma is lazy. She didn't get up for not one damn thing. Demonte was sad the entire time b/c he didn't get his shrimp and didn't get a drink b/c he wanted to be a big kid. Demari was good as usual, since he can get away w/ murder around me. Joi was actually good. She only annoyed me once. And Des, she didn't do anything except keep eating after she said she was done. Whatever the whip thing is at Sizzler is HELLA good, just fyi. Then I was super hurrying Gramma up since I thought I had to take her back home and I didn't want to be late for when Stan comes over to help me with homework, but it turns out I just had to bring her to my house. Then my Bunny came over and helped me with homework. This was semi hard Russian homework. I need to listen to 9, 10, 12, 19, and 20 over and over again. I get them all mixed up. I just gotta thank Stan for coming over for 15 minutes to help me with my homework even though you were tired and only had ten hours of sleep in the past two nights. For that, you're amazing. But yea, it's difficult. I need to concentrate. There's a bit more listening stuff that I should do, but I'll do that later.

2m I have jury duty. So I'm going to the first two classes, then coming home, and I believe my mom will be taking me. I need to be at room 307 at 12:30. I really hope I don't get picked. It'll make me so sad if I'm picked. Holy shit, I need to do Geology hw 2m too. Like all of it. So I'm gonna bust my ass. I won't be seeing my Bunny, since he's pulling an 11 hour school day. I'm nonchalant. There really isn't a point in putting up a fight to show him that I'm upset b/c he won't do anything to fix it. When he says I'll make it up to you, I want him to actually make it up to me. Give me flowers.. chocolates.. something. Just so that I know that you feel bad for skipping out. But since we've had this talk a million times before and he hasn't gotten the idea yet, I figured that I won't even waste my breath anymore. He'll prolly never get it. *Sighs

Katy just called. I'm going to a David Choi concert. Nov 15. I'm excited. A Wholesome Threesome event. I love Kat for getting these tickets. I'll be seeing her Tuesday. Smoothies, yum. I need to get a sketchbook.

When will this guy email me the info for my job ? Hello Anthony, where are you ?

Back to Speech hw, then maybe getting ready for bed.

Sleep.

So unproductive when it's hot. I just slept today. I wanted to clean and somewhat start my homework, but I did nothing. Ugh, I hate it.

So, last night was the "double date" with Paul. Turns out he was with his coworker (who was cute), and then Frankie and Alissa were there, along with Deante. So it was a triple date, plus one. We SQUEEZED into our table since the hookah bar was packed. We did have a lot of fun though. I actually had a drink. Electric lemonade or something like that. It wasn't all that good. I punched Paul in the balls. He told me to do it. I have NO prollem doing that. Poor fellow. And I punched him in the back. Ahh, whatta night. Stan came over after, and we sexytimed. I wanted him to go home and sleep b/c he had to do his BART physical, but he was adamant on staying. With that, we discovered that hookah=sex.

Today.. nothing. Slept. Finally watched my Project Runway. And caught up with The Colony. Slept. Ate. Died some. Ugh, just fml.

2m is Demari's football game. I can't wait to see my godson in his football uniform. He's so small alla his padding is just gonna drown him. I'll be cheering him on and taking lots of pictures though.

I still haven't gotten word a/b my job. I'd like a few days notice. Oh well. I'm working. And I'm excited a/b it.

I'm lightheaded, and thirsty. I need something to do. Ahahah.

I'm tired.

I didn't bite my tongue, and I wound up regretting it. Be more open with your damn feelings or else I'll be closed off w/ mine. I swear I'm going to start treating you like how you treat me. BACK BURNER.

Supposedly Paul wants to go on a double date w/ me and Stan. Lmao. I know, I know.

I'm way sleepy. Nap time ? I have nothing to do really. Just homework.

I got the job. Now I gotta focus and worry a/b time management. My stomach is empty, but I don't wanna eat.

Mmkay

So, I guess I'm focusing on life. I'm super concentrated in school. I wanna do well. I wanna go back to the gym, but I have no energy. I'll go weekends. That's like my only time. Leg shaving time. And I wanna use my coupon. Reminder for Friday; must call for Jury Duty. I wanna get picked, but I doubt it. Nobody gets picked for these things that I know. Or people just never go. This guy hasn't responded to my email so Idk if I have this job. I'll start looking elsewhere I guess. My art class is going well. I thought it'd be retarded, but the teacher is actually funny and he's making me rethink my drawing and how I feel about my skills. Russian is getting better. I wanna learn how to read. My reading skills of right now suck. I think I just gotta go over my alphabet.

I wonder how Bunny is doing w/ his classes. I know he got into his first class. I'm happy for him in that case. And I wonder how often I'm going to see him. He's talking about there being a schedule change. We've always did Monday/Tuesday. Speaking of schedule change, Nick works M-F, so now we'll kick it weekends if Stan's willing to do that. Which is BETTER for ME b/c I can not worry a/b school the next day. Yay !

I think something is wrong w/ Carrots b/c she had red stuff in her poo. Idk if I should be really worried b/c it said online that it could be nothing. Maybe it is, or isn't. Idk. It's just scary. It looked like blood. My poor baby. I wonder how Leo is doing.

I should read this damn chapter for Speech. Then go over the article.. or not. Just the chapter. 2m I have CADD. At least we're starting shit now. I really don't get the assignment. How can we duplicate these pictures ? He really isn't a good and clear teacher. He has to work on explaining the assignments. I really don't get what the hell we're doing. Maybe he'll go over it 2m ? Prolly not.

I love you. Do something sweet for me.

Complicated

So managing both of the blogs is kinna difficult. I always wanna click on New Post on whichever is on top, but I gotta remember to look at the title b/c I don't wanna post the wrong thing on the wrong blog.

So, I'm kinna pissed at Luckey. He's one of the coolest cousin's, but he's screwing himself over. Alla these POINTLESS tattoos. And the ride thing. I don't like being treated like a fuckin' taxi. I'm not your driver. I don't HAVE to take you anywhere. You should be appreciative of the times I do take you places and NEVER question why I'm not going to do so. If I say no, leave it at that. Remember that I don't have to take you anywhere and that every time I do, it's b/c I'm feeling generous. I'm being nice. There are only so many times when one person's niceness can be taken for granted until they get over it. The only reason why I went out there was b/c of Soyhala, b/c there is NO reason for a girl like her to be on the bus at that time of night.

Now, tonight is Raymond's birthday thing. It was supposed to be last night, but it was postponed. And then something else happened b/c it wasn't on the actual day. Whatever. I got him a shirt that I was gonna return today so he should be happy that he even got something w/ alla these day switching.

I'm surprised at how easy it is for me to let it all go. Just to not care as much. You get as much as you put in. And if you don't wanna put it all that much, fine. Just don't expect me to be the one carrying the weight of the relationship.

Second week of school for me starts 2m. I don't think I'm gonna be riding w/ Katt anymore. Maybe on the way home though. And the first week of school starts for my Moose and Demonte. It's his first day as a sixth grader. I'm so proud of him. I hope he does well. And the first day for Bunny is on Tuesday. So I'm not expecting to see him at all. I'm just whatever. Nonchalant about this thing until he wants to care.

I hope I get this job, b/c I'm tired of my Uncle being HELLA on creeper status and watching me fix waffles. And then not knocking on my door. Moving out seems to be a good option since I can't get my dad to put a lock on my door.

I should move on to Russian homework. Listen to the first chapter or unit and learn some stuff.

I miss..

I miss blogging. I'm so sad that I don't get to do it as often. I'm worried about saying something inappropriate on here b/c it just takes a few clicks and the people in my class can view my blog. But whatever. I'm a big girl and that class is fulla adults. Let's just be civil.

So.. where to begin ? First week of school is OVER AND DONE WITH. I did somethings that I never thought I would do. I volunteered to read aloud.. and I went second to do my speech. Um, learned some things in Russian. I'm hating my art class, I know that's for sure. And for CADD. That's a whole different story. The teaching style. I'm not feeling it. I need structure. I better get something outta this. I think I'm gonna like geology though. I just gotta get to that class early so I can get a damn seat.

I hope my boyfriend gets classes.

I hope I get this job. I'm really excited about it. It's demo'ing stuff at Costco's. Something REALLY easy.

My internet connection has been REALLY slow ever since I decided to sign up for Wifi at City. How retarded is that ? It pisses me off. I can't do anything w/o it taking HELLA long. I'm gonna have it taken it or something and see if it's alright. I cleaned it out and emptied shit and everything and it's still hella slow.

I'm supposed to be downloading music for my grandpa. I hope he has an ipod or else I'm just doing alla this for nothing. And when they had that yearly subscription stuff.. it's gone now. But I did use the card for LimeWire.. so I guess I can get my songs back that way. But I was thinking about uploading on to the comp downstairs and then moving the files on to my flash drive and then transferring to here. Maybe that can happen. I got about 50 songs w/h should hold him for now.. and some more off itunes.

I miss you boyfriend. Why are you so far away ?

Yay!

Soo.. I'm back with Stan. Officially. He asked me out. Though it wasn't romantic. I was upset at him b/c the day completely sucked. But he asked. And I was escatatic. I love him so much. The times are good. He's amazing.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL !
Omgah, I have to admit, the morning was amazing. Katy and her egg sandwich. Yolk was EVERYWHERE. And then classes. I'm in AUTO CADD ! And then.. pretty cool. I'm proud of myself for volunteering to read in Speech. I hope I get over my fear in Speech. I have to do some reading for that class. I should get on it. Shit, I have soo much homework. I should get on it.

I need to catch up on my sleep. I will read for speech, find an object, and start on geology. And I will make Stan love me, as much as I love him.

Ugh.

The argument continued yesterday, and it irritated the SHIT outta me. On&on about NOTHING. I wanted to kill him. My soul was irritated. I hated him. But I told him off. That the whole argument was STUPID and for it to continue even after I was fixing it was just retarded. Then it ended. We both just need to speak out.

Chillin' with my girls yesterday. Watched "The Ugly Truth" and it was good. You do see a penis though. Gotta be careful of that cuz it was unexpected. There was a lot of laughs. Chilled w/ Jess in the afternoon b/c Katt was w/ her sister getting her new car. Had Sizzler and it was so good. Then chilled & waited for Katt, but it took her FOREVER so we missed the first showing of the movie that we wanted to see. So then we went to the next one. Had Starbucks, but then drank it slow. So me&Jess had to put our drinks in our bags & sneak it in to the theater. That stopper thing is a genius invention. Just sipped. It was yummy. Then we went to the dessert place in Millbrae and had a crepe. It wasn't all that good. The tiramisu was frozen & there were hardly any peaches. But I'll go back again if that's my only choice. Dropped off the girls, came home and ko'ed. I wanted to watch Judge Judy b/c it seemed like it'd be a good one, but I was too tired to keep my eyes open.

I'm getting in to school mode. I wonder what time dad's off b/c I gotta get books from school, & a parking permit. I also gotta call Katt about carpooling. Then school. What to wear ? Depends on the weather. And if I'm seeing Stan 2m or not.

I'm at nine days bitches. FYL.

Found out.

I found out why Stan was so upset. It's really dumb. And I'm dumb for feeding in to it. Whatever. I learned from it.

I think I've reached another idgaf stage with alla this.

Jess is coming back today, and I just remembered after I changed into pajamas. Ugh.

I changed my bangs today, yay. The process was tideous though. I heard the same story fifty million times, got spit on, and didn't even get a flat iron. So I gotta do that myself.

Go Niners.

Obviously, I don't feel like blogging. Though I have a lot to say, I just don't want to write it down.

I'm a few hours shy of 10 days. Yay me.

Rough

Last night was rough. I think me and Stan are both trying to adjust to being away from each other and with that we're taking it out on each other. It's also prolly b/c we're adjusting to waking up early again. We're both prolly more than cranky due to our lack of sleep. Esp. b/c he texts me whenever he wakes up (and he works mornings now, so that means a text around 7:00am) so I'm up with him. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I remember feeling that stuck on a fence. Since I'm the one trying to get him back, I feel like I need to do whatever needs to be done. If that means I put him before my family, then it just needs to happen. But god forbid I ask him to do that. He'll have a bf and I think that's what happened last night. I wasn't first, so I was upset. And then he just shut me down. I know that it's all over now, but I think alla this needs to get off my chest. I don't think he sees how hard it is for me since I'm the one working to get him back. I need to do whatever I can, and I shouldn't be complaining. But I don't think it's fair for him to not do the same for me. I just want you to be able to see what I'm doing.

So.. apartments are cheap, if you're not looking for amenities. I should tour some and get the feel of this crap. I'm seriously job hunting. Something HAS to come my way. Soon. And with this job hunt comes a new me. I'm going to start interviews off with clearly stating that I have a speech issue, but they don't affect my work and it's only b/c I'm nervous. If you talk to me outside of the interview setting, I'll bet it'll be gone.

School's starting on Monday. I'm kinna excited. I gotta email that teacher, but he doesn't have an email address. Maybe I'll still be enrolled. I really hope so. If not I gotta retake that damn class. FML. I hope I get a new backpack. There's HELLA Hello Kitty ones, but I want a Pochoco or a Badtz Maru. I should go back to Amazon and EBAY and search harder. I don't really want a purple backpack. I want something plain colored. Ohhhh. I'm hoping to carpool w/ Katt this semester. So I'm not alone alla time during school. And I hope to make new friends in my classes. I need to still buy some books and talk to dad about purchasing a parking sticker.

My face is breaking out. It itches really bad. I have no idea what happened to it.

2m is hair appt. Maybe I can talk mom into getting me some flats or something.

Project Runway comes on tonight on Lifetime. Only TV that gets that channel is downstairs and Idk if Joi will be that nice. We'll see though.

It's almost over now. 12 days. I wonder how it'll go down.

Fuckin' kids.

I hate kids that are like I'm in love with my boyfriend. And they break up two weeks later and move on. People don't understand how much value you that word carries. People use & abuse it. It's quite sad actually. They say it with a drink. With clothes. With anything. And they toss it around with people like it's nothing. I know I love Stan b/c I was willing to do whatever he asks. I wake up early to pick him up and drive him to his job stuff. I cook & clean for him. Love isn't texting a guy all day and thinking he's cute. Love is texting a guy "I need you to bring me tampons" and him responding with "what kind?" That's love. Cute is for love. When you love a person, you think they are handsome/beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning. Stupid kids. I wish you would just grow up. Ohh.. and the kids who complain about how their parents do things. Like she doesn't cook what I want, or do my laundry right. Then why don't you do alla cooking for yourself ? Why don't you do your own laundry ? Since you're at it, just move out and try living on your own. I'd like to see you kids try it. I'll be laughing in your faces after you FAIL. It's just sad.

Soo.. moving on. I think mom's getting a job soon. That'll be good considering I'm running on ZERO funds a month. And.. whenever mom gets a job, I get one soon behind her. I'm hoping that'll be the case. Once I get one, me and Stan are gonna start looking for places. I can't wait.

I love my boyfriend.

Reflection

So, today me and Stan went to Great America. It was soo much fun. We were both WAY tired on the drives both there and back. But we perked up after we got there and rode a few things. Then my Bunny was hungry so I had to feed him b/c he was starting to act like me and get cranky b/c he hasn't ate. So we both had chicken teriyaki bowls and they weren't that good. Not like the ones from Jack in the Box. Then we had a bomb ass dessert. A pineapple thingy. Yummy. Then we digested on this car ride as he "drove". That was actually really nice b/c it was peaceful. More rides, then we left. We came home and relaxed. He took a nap, but he hella denies it. I hate when he does that. But whatever. I held him as he slept. It was the cutest thing. I love him so.

School starts Monday. Idk if I should drop from my ARCH 52 class since I failed my ARCH 20 class. But whatever. We'll see Monday. My schedule sucks. I hope things work out for me.

I need a job.

I hope things go well for my bunny.

13 days. Ya tebya lublu.

I'm home

I'm finally home after spending two weeks, maybe a bit more, at Stan's house. It was a WONDERFUL time there. I loved it. Sooo many memories. I loved playing house with him. I didn't take one second for granted. I loved playing with Squirtle. Changing the water. Seeing how excited my Bunny was once he got him. Waking up next to him. Tapping in the middle of the night to turn over and hold me. Or to scoot over. Or to share the blanket. Cooking for him. Cleaning for him. Helping him do laundry. Watching non-cable with him. Going to Nick's house and not worrying about driving home twice. Eating the the kitchen table w/ cable in there. Trying to watch porn but not finding anything interesting. Ahahaha. Soo many good things happened these past few days. Running outta cash. The sadness. The fights, the happiness. Sexytime, duh. Showers. Staying up until 4 am and sleeping until 2.

Soo.. Stan's new BI, I don't like her. Called him 15 minutes before he was supposed to arrive at his appoint. Oh well. She just doesn't seem to like her job. I think he's gonna get into an academy though. B/c why would they be reopening his file ? Hmm. I hope so. He's having so many issues now anyway. He has to get his immigration papers in order. And then something w/ State and him not knowing how the class schedule worked so now he's not gonna have any classes. My poor babe. I'm so sorry for him and there's nothing I can do to fix the prollem. I wanna go to SF State an talk to a conselor and see if they can do anything. He just wasn't aware of how the system worked.

2m is our 1.5 year. I need my money. I was gonna ask, but dad was being a jerk. So now I gotta wait for mom. And both of my cars are low on gas, so I gotta get the card. But I was told Joi has a doctor's appt so maybe I'll have to be up early to get it or get gas. Ugh.

I love my boyfriend. He's simply amazing. And I believe I'm at two weeks. Yay me.

It's been soo long.

I haven't blogged in soo long. I feel like my life hasn't been documented properly b/c of this. So.. Idk even where to begin. I'll go back as far as I can remember, and jot down alla the important stuff.

Soo.. house sitting for Bunny. It was fun, kinna. I got to see what living on my own would be like. It was blah. I had to buy my own food and stuff. It prolly would've been more fun if Stan had cable that I'm used to in his house. I did wash dishes though. That's something that was VERY weird to me.

Stan's return was fun. Chilled w/ him lately these past few days. Lots of time w/ Nick.

Katt's bday things. Wicked. That was nice. I enjoyed it. Great play. I didn't like.. well.. I'm not gonna get into that just right now. Afterwards, came back to Stan's and chilled. Watched non cable, then some Jeannie, then went to bed. Next day we cleaned. Or I cleaned. Jess did help me take out the trash. Took them home then more me time all alone.

So me and Stan's time together living and playing house has come to an end. This is our last night sleeping together. It makes me kinna sad. :( I wanted to go out and end it w/ a bang, but he had to go help Paul and Beckie move a couch or something. Ugh. But I do get him for a little bit 2m and for alla Tuesday. Then it's back to the reguarly scheduled programming of my life.

This season of ABDC is a disappointment. I'm REALLY sad by what I saw. The west coast didn't step up at all, hick hoppers made it over a really talented Asian crew, and nothing overall impressed me besides the voguers. Well, west coast has won all the other seasons, so I guess it's time that the East gets a shot. They prolly picked more east coast crews that west coast on purpose. Ugh.

Soo. I'm excited about Tuesday. I'm not gonna be able to do what I want b/c I'm not gonna have the funds, so I gotta make the best of what I got. It's me and Stan's 1.5 year anniversary, even though we're not back together, I still want this to be memorable. I'll get a card or something before I go.

So.. I'm seriously over you as a friend. I've come to realize how much I dislike you. You push your ideas on to people. It seems to me it's always about what you want. And that's frustrating. So.. here's our goodbye. I'm gonna be chill w/ you and kick it every once and again, but I'm not gonna make the effort.

I'm also excited about my birthday. My best friends suck. That SERIOUSLY makes me sad that they aren't gonna be able to come. Two years in a row. But I know me and my boyfriend (or whatever he is) will have a good time. I think he's excited too.

I'm bummed that he hasn't taken me back yet. Maybe he will Tuesday ? Who knows ? Ahahha.

I need a job so me and Stan can live together. It'll be awesome. We've already agreed on it.

This post is actually hella long.

I gotta figure out how to tie a tie for my boyfriend so he can go to this meeting thing for SFPD. He needs to hurry up and become a cop already.