Opinionated

The deeper I go into this car thing, the more I realize that my opinion doesn't matter on this situation. Dad got super excited when he saw this one car and made me send in an email right away. But he didn't even ask me if I liked it. It seems like whatever I like, if there's even something small with it, and he has to haggle down the price and if they don't settle on where he is, it's not good enough. I found a Prelude that I REALLY liked. It needed some minor work, like a new sunroof and back tires, along with the usual registration and smog, but dad didn't wanna pay the $1700. The guy went down to $1500. I don't want a Nissan whatever. Or a Neon. I don't wanna have to settle for something that I'm not happy with driving. I'm not. If I don't like a car that he picks out, I'm not going to drive the damn thing, it's as simple as that. And then another thing that's upsetting me is how my dad doesn't want me to drive a stick b/c he hasn't seen me drive one. Well how can I show you that I'm a good driver in a damn stick if you don't wanna get me one? Hmm ? Does that even make sense ? If Stan says I'm pretty good at driving a stick, then I'm pretty damn good. I don't get my father. His mind is in fifty places where it shouldn't be.

Then my mother. So yesterday she was like it's fine that you don't get this car. But that's super easy for her to say. She's not stuck driving some rust bucket. I'm not gonna drive that damn Geo forever just b/c it's there. No. So I was upset and crying. And she bitched at me, saying I was doing too much. Bitch, stfu. Until you've been in my shoes, don't fuckin' judge me. I swear, my parents just don't make sense.

And Joi always needs to toss in her two cents into everything. As soon as we drove up there she kept saying it's not worth it, it's not worth, I have a car, I have a car. Nobody even asked you to fuckin' come. You only came b/c you were worried you were gonna miss something. And then you didn't even wanna walk me to the bathroom. And you scratch up my car. And yes, I'll call the rental my car b/c it is. Stupid slut. I dislike her. It's such a sad thing to say, but I was much happier as an only child. She needs to get over herself thinkin' she's this amazing girl and that she'll be rich. Dream big, but live in reality.

I've dropped Arch. There's no way I'm gonna pass that shit. I'm done with it. I can't get over it. I'm actually done with City College. It's taking me too long to get done here. The school is failing b/c of budget cuts and whack teachers/professors. They don't have tutors in all subjects and it doesn't help or benefit the students. I'll tell my parents this decision of mine later and hope they understand. It's sad, kinna. But I'm hoping that the AIoP will be more beneficial. I'm actually praying on it.

I'm debating whether I should even do Vegas. I didn't really wanna go there in the first place and I was semi pressured in to it by EVERYBODY. I don't need anybody's opinions when I have a million of my own. Paul thought of this master plan where we celebrate both of our birthdays on the same trip since we're only three days apart, but I know that something bad will come outta that. I know how he gets when he drinks, and I know how Stan gets when he drinks, and there is just no positive outcome when you combine the both of them. And Jess goes and tells Edgar awhile ago when we were at this party thingy for him. So that's how this whole thing blew outta proportion. I'm not feeling any of these situations. I'd rather do something small, like go to Sky High. I dislike how they don't have a private room where you can just jump around w/ only people you want there, but they do have a room reserved for two hours. It's something more my speed. And then we can go out later. I think this is a better plan, since I know that people will flake. I already know that my BFFF will be in Taiwan. And I know that Jess always has something to do. She hasn't been to a birthday of mine in a few years. Something always comes up with her greek. And it doesn't really bug me since I can see where her priorities are. And I'd rather save money for Valennersary. It seems to me that it would be cheaper to rent a big car thing to drive us there and to a dinner or whatever else than to fly to Vegas just to party.

I also wanna take these classes at Sky High. They're like fitness classes. I think once I get going on something fun to exercise, I'll keep it up. I love to stay fit, and I know there are certain areas of me that I can work on. I'm gonna try to bring Katt. I really don't even care if I have to go by myself though.