I let these little things bug me, but I guess there's always a reason, right? I'm talking a/b Stan is his lack of answering phone calls from me. I know it may be completely unintentional, but it seems like it's on purpose since it happens all the time. It seems like he NEVER answers my calls on the first call, hell, not even the second call. But if his family calls he answers in the first two rings. I know that this is something really small, but it could lead into something really big. I guess the accident is still weighing on my mind since he didn't answer. I called him two, maybe three times. It wasn't until my mom called him, twice, that he decided to call back. Like, what was he doing that he couldn't even hear his phone during five calls? That could've been my dying phone call, and he would've been too busy with his boys. How would he feel then? Esp since he didn't even tell me that he was going out. That also bugs me. I always tell him where I'm going and who I'm gonna be with. Since he can't give me the same respect, it's not fair. I'm gonna talk to him a/b this whenever I see him, since this is obviously a big deal to me and I'm not getting over it as soon as I'd thought.
My dad wants to buy me a Civic. This goes to prove that my opinion means nothing. If he knew me, he'd know I really don't like Hondas. I want the Prelude, but nothing else. SOB. Just doesn't listen.
Wednesday, September 29
Monday, September 27
Opinionated
The deeper I go into this car thing, the more I realize that my opinion doesn't matter on this situation. Dad got super excited when he saw this one car and made me send in an email right away. But he didn't even ask me if I liked it. It seems like whatever I like, if there's even something small with it, and he has to haggle down the price and if they don't settle on where he is, it's not good enough. I found a Prelude that I REALLY liked. It needed some minor work, like a new sunroof and back tires, along with the usual registration and smog, but dad didn't wanna pay the $1700. The guy went down to $1500. I don't want a Nissan whatever. Or a Neon. I don't wanna have to settle for something that I'm not happy with driving. I'm not. If I don't like a car that he picks out, I'm not going to drive the damn thing, it's as simple as that. And then another thing that's upsetting me is how my dad doesn't want me to drive a stick b/c he hasn't seen me drive one. Well how can I show you that I'm a good driver in a damn stick if you don't wanna get me one? Hmm ? Does that even make sense ? If Stan says I'm pretty good at driving a stick, then I'm pretty damn good. I don't get my father. His mind is in fifty places where it shouldn't be.
Then my mother. So yesterday she was like it's fine that you don't get this car. But that's super easy for her to say. She's not stuck driving some rust bucket. I'm not gonna drive that damn Geo forever just b/c it's there. No. So I was upset and crying. And she bitched at me, saying I was doing too much. Bitch, stfu. Until you've been in my shoes, don't fuckin' judge me. I swear, my parents just don't make sense.
And Joi always needs to toss in her two cents into everything. As soon as we drove up there she kept saying it's not worth it, it's not worth, I have a car, I have a car. Nobody even asked you to fuckin' come. You only came b/c you were worried you were gonna miss something. And then you didn't even wanna walk me to the bathroom. And you scratch up my car. And yes, I'll call the rental my car b/c it is. Stupid slut. I dislike her. It's such a sad thing to say, but I was much happier as an only child. She needs to get over herself thinkin' she's this amazing girl and that she'll be rich. Dream big, but live in reality.
I've dropped Arch. There's no way I'm gonna pass that shit. I'm done with it. I can't get over it. I'm actually done with City College. It's taking me too long to get done here. The school is failing b/c of budget cuts and whack teachers/professors. They don't have tutors in all subjects and it doesn't help or benefit the students. I'll tell my parents this decision of mine later and hope they understand. It's sad, kinna. But I'm hoping that the AIoP will be more beneficial. I'm actually praying on it.
I'm debating whether I should even do Vegas. I didn't really wanna go there in the first place and I was semi pressured in to it by EVERYBODY. I don't need anybody's opinions when I have a million of my own. Paul thought of this master plan where we celebrate both of our birthdays on the same trip since we're only three days apart, but I know that something bad will come outta that. I know how he gets when he drinks, and I know how Stan gets when he drinks, and there is just no positive outcome when you combine the both of them. And Jess goes and tells Edgar awhile ago when we were at this party thingy for him. So that's how this whole thing blew outta proportion. I'm not feeling any of these situations. I'd rather do something small, like go to Sky High. I dislike how they don't have a private room where you can just jump around w/ only people you want there, but they do have a room reserved for two hours. It's something more my speed. And then we can go out later. I think this is a better plan, since I know that people will flake. I already know that my BFFF will be in Taiwan. And I know that Jess always has something to do. She hasn't been to a birthday of mine in a few years. Something always comes up with her greek. And it doesn't really bug me since I can see where her priorities are. And I'd rather save money for Valennersary. It seems to me that it would be cheaper to rent a big car thing to drive us there and to a dinner or whatever else than to fly to Vegas just to party.
I also wanna take these classes at Sky High. They're like fitness classes. I think once I get going on something fun to exercise, I'll keep it up. I love to stay fit, and I know there are certain areas of me that I can work on. I'm gonna try to bring Katt. I really don't even care if I have to go by myself though.
Then my mother. So yesterday she was like it's fine that you don't get this car. But that's super easy for her to say. She's not stuck driving some rust bucket. I'm not gonna drive that damn Geo forever just b/c it's there. No. So I was upset and crying. And she bitched at me, saying I was doing too much. Bitch, stfu. Until you've been in my shoes, don't fuckin' judge me. I swear, my parents just don't make sense.
And Joi always needs to toss in her two cents into everything. As soon as we drove up there she kept saying it's not worth it, it's not worth, I have a car, I have a car. Nobody even asked you to fuckin' come. You only came b/c you were worried you were gonna miss something. And then you didn't even wanna walk me to the bathroom. And you scratch up my car. And yes, I'll call the rental my car b/c it is. Stupid slut. I dislike her. It's such a sad thing to say, but I was much happier as an only child. She needs to get over herself thinkin' she's this amazing girl and that she'll be rich. Dream big, but live in reality.
I've dropped Arch. There's no way I'm gonna pass that shit. I'm done with it. I can't get over it. I'm actually done with City College. It's taking me too long to get done here. The school is failing b/c of budget cuts and whack teachers/professors. They don't have tutors in all subjects and it doesn't help or benefit the students. I'll tell my parents this decision of mine later and hope they understand. It's sad, kinna. But I'm hoping that the AIoP will be more beneficial. I'm actually praying on it.
I'm debating whether I should even do Vegas. I didn't really wanna go there in the first place and I was semi pressured in to it by EVERYBODY. I don't need anybody's opinions when I have a million of my own. Paul thought of this master plan where we celebrate both of our birthdays on the same trip since we're only three days apart, but I know that something bad will come outta that. I know how he gets when he drinks, and I know how Stan gets when he drinks, and there is just no positive outcome when you combine the both of them. And Jess goes and tells Edgar awhile ago when we were at this party thingy for him. So that's how this whole thing blew outta proportion. I'm not feeling any of these situations. I'd rather do something small, like go to Sky High. I dislike how they don't have a private room where you can just jump around w/ only people you want there, but they do have a room reserved for two hours. It's something more my speed. And then we can go out later. I think this is a better plan, since I know that people will flake. I already know that my BFFF will be in Taiwan. And I know that Jess always has something to do. She hasn't been to a birthday of mine in a few years. Something always comes up with her greek. And it doesn't really bug me since I can see where her priorities are. And I'd rather save money for Valennersary. It seems to me that it would be cheaper to rent a big car thing to drive us there and to a dinner or whatever else than to fly to Vegas just to party.
I also wanna take these classes at Sky High. They're like fitness classes. I think once I get going on something fun to exercise, I'll keep it up. I love to stay fit, and I know there are certain areas of me that I can work on. I'm gonna try to bring Katt. I really don't even care if I have to go by myself though.
Sunday, September 26
Car troubles.
I know today is gonna be bad b/c it started off kinna shitty. I woke up and decided to show my dad the cars I wanted offa Vehix since Craigslist was being retarded and we just couldn't find a car there. The truth of the matter is my dad is cheap and doesn't wanna spend more than $2500 on a car for me. WTF ? How am I s'posed to get a decent car for that price ? And since we're buying off of Craigslist there's no guarantee that what the people have in the ads are gonna be truthful. Why is he so damn cheap ? I'm so frustrated with this shit. I wanna hurry and transfer to the Art Institute and start working in that field to have a career that will help me finance my own damn car. This is so UGH. If that woman never hit me, I never would've been in this situation. I do NOT want a Dodge Neon. I really don't. But it seems like that's gonna be my option until "we find me a car" whatever that is s'posed to mean. I'm just going from one bucket to another, and I don't deserve this shit. I really don't. And it's not fair to me. I'm over this car situation, b/c my opinion really doesn't matter. B/c my dad is gonna buy whatever car he feels is the right fit for me. So I'm done trying to give my opinion, b/c it really doesn't even matter. I don't want an old car. I want something new. Not brand new, but something past the 90s. It's almost 2011, so to drive anything from the 90s is insane and almost obsolete. I'm done with this subject. All it does is upset me.
Saturday, September 25
HELLA HOT
Wtf San Francisco ? Why are you treating me so poorly with this killer weather ? It is hella hot.
So, the other night I was with my boys. I think I was a bit wasted, cuz I was BURNING in the inside. Chris said I was gone since I poked myself in the eye. But I ALWAYS do stuff like that. Ahahah. There was as ALWAYS drama though. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Stan this week, and last night just proved my point. We had a big argument in the morning (but he likes to call it a heated discussion) a/b how I'm always second or third in his life, and then he went and did the same thing, which didn't make me feel any better. I seriously hope things will be better this week with him, b/c I don't need the same thing to happen to me for an entire month straight. I'm expecting something big for the lack of time I've got to spend with him this past month, but I know it won't happen.
Which leads me to my next point. I've come to the conclusion I'm expecting too much from the world. I should stop relying on everybody else. I shouldn't expect my parents to control their child, b/c that just seems too easy for them. I shouldn't expect my bf to always make me happy, b/c he has other things that he needs to do. I need to find a hobby. Something fun, that will keep my mind occupied. This way I can have something to make me happy. Or a pet. I need a pet. I just need something that'll be there for me unconditionally, b/c obviously the people that I thought were there, just aren't. People aren't being nice right now.
School. I'm waiting for this test form Arch. Basically, if I fail it, I'm done with this class. The end.
So, the other night I was with my boys. I think I was a bit wasted, cuz I was BURNING in the inside. Chris said I was gone since I poked myself in the eye. But I ALWAYS do stuff like that. Ahahah. There was as ALWAYS drama though. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with Stan this week, and last night just proved my point. We had a big argument in the morning (but he likes to call it a heated discussion) a/b how I'm always second or third in his life, and then he went and did the same thing, which didn't make me feel any better. I seriously hope things will be better this week with him, b/c I don't need the same thing to happen to me for an entire month straight. I'm expecting something big for the lack of time I've got to spend with him this past month, but I know it won't happen.
Which leads me to my next point. I've come to the conclusion I'm expecting too much from the world. I should stop relying on everybody else. I shouldn't expect my parents to control their child, b/c that just seems too easy for them. I shouldn't expect my bf to always make me happy, b/c he has other things that he needs to do. I need to find a hobby. Something fun, that will keep my mind occupied. This way I can have something to make me happy. Or a pet. I need a pet. I just need something that'll be there for me unconditionally, b/c obviously the people that I thought were there, just aren't. People aren't being nice right now.
School. I'm waiting for this test form Arch. Basically, if I fail it, I'm done with this class. The end.
Tuesday, September 21
So, things are gonna work out.
I think things are gonna be going my way. The lady's insurance company realized that she was at fault, so now I don't have to sue. I still wanna read that report and give a royal lickin' to that damn CHP though, cuz I know that he knows that he was wrong. Racist ass. I'm getting a rental car 2m. Lucky me. I'm actually really excited a/b it. And dad is still trying to find me a car. I want a REAL car though. He keeps fiddling around on craigslist which isn't working. We need to just go to a dealership. We went to an auction today and I saw a car that I liked, but since there was too much damage, Dad said it wouldn't be worth it. I'm thinking a/b going back out there next Tuesday since it's always there. If they have something, I'll be happy. I wanna find something soon though, b/c Idk how long I'm gonna have the rental and I don't wanna get too comfortable in a nice car and then get downgraded super quick into a bucket. So there. Good news there.
I'm thinking a/b dropping ARCH. Idk if I'm gonna pass. And it's bugging me. I know that I'm gonna go to an online school after City. I could actually just start going there now. I just gotta get accepted. Which will hopefully happen soon. I'll send the woman a quick email and see what I need and what the requirements are. I want this to happen. I'll hope for the best.
As far as relationships go, I think mine is going okay. I love Stan to itty bitty pieces but I need him to give me more. I need help in keeping up with these finances w/h some of the things I think he should be chipping in on. We just had a talk a/b it and I hope he realizes that what I'm saying is true. I also hope that he starts to realize that he needs to start watching what he says. He needs to mean what he says and say what he means. And to stop throwing around the word promise like it's nothing. Promises mean a lot. And I dislike it if you're gonna say it and then not do it and not even have remorse a/b the situation. And finally on good news a/b our relationship. DISNEYWORLD IS SETTLED. I have everything planned. Just gotta book. I'm so excited. February couldn't be here fast enough for me. I hope everything is going to be super fun. I get excited just thinking about it.
I should get in bed, but I don't feel like it. This quiz that I have in ARCH 2m will determine if I stay in the class or not. And if I should start applying to the art institute. Oh yea.
I'm thinking a/b dropping ARCH. Idk if I'm gonna pass. And it's bugging me. I know that I'm gonna go to an online school after City. I could actually just start going there now. I just gotta get accepted. Which will hopefully happen soon. I'll send the woman a quick email and see what I need and what the requirements are. I want this to happen. I'll hope for the best.
As far as relationships go, I think mine is going okay. I love Stan to itty bitty pieces but I need him to give me more. I need help in keeping up with these finances w/h some of the things I think he should be chipping in on. We just had a talk a/b it and I hope he realizes that what I'm saying is true. I also hope that he starts to realize that he needs to start watching what he says. He needs to mean what he says and say what he means. And to stop throwing around the word promise like it's nothing. Promises mean a lot. And I dislike it if you're gonna say it and then not do it and not even have remorse a/b the situation. And finally on good news a/b our relationship. DISNEYWORLD IS SETTLED. I have everything planned. Just gotta book. I'm so excited. February couldn't be here fast enough for me. I hope everything is going to be super fun. I get excited just thinking about it.
I should get in bed, but I don't feel like it. This quiz that I have in ARCH 2m will determine if I stay in the class or not. And if I should start applying to the art institute. Oh yea.
Monday, September 20
Alla the things I wish I could
Prepare yourself, for this is going to be a long one.
I wish I could just whine to you and tell you that you can't always be cheap with things. I've been such a good girl and trying my hardest to get everything done. I should be rewarded with something of some sort, to my picking. I've been asking for a PROPER vehicle for the LONGEST time. And now after alla the troubles I've had with Putt Putt and the wagon, I'm stuck in this piece of shit Geo. I have no AC, no radio, the cigarette thingy doesn't even work so I can't even listen to my ipod, there is HELLA wind getting into that car, but not like a breeze. You can just hear it as you're driving in silence to wherever you are going. I can hear my mom "You should be grateful to even have a car, this and that, this and that, but NO I shouldn't. I should be grateful if I get something that doesn't make me feel like I'm the poorest person in the world. I'd be grateful if for once I got something that I wanted. I'd be grateful if I wasn't riding around in another bucket. But that's all I seem to get. I wish I had money stored or saved somewhere that I could just grab and buy another car, so that I wouldn't have to deal with this damn mess. Since this accident, there has been so much hatred. I'm taking alla my feelings out on everybody and I feel slightly bad. My mom doesn't wanna sue the bitch b/c she believes in karma and ect. But I'm just s'posed to let this go ? She made me ruin my chance of getting a decent car. Now Dad's off for a week and he's going to be even more determined to get me a car, but I know it's not going to be anything that I'd pick out for myself. And the CHP who was there is racist, so I know I'm gonna have to file a complaint against him. And since I'm pissed, I'm gonna sue his ass too. Maybe the whole damn CHP just b/c. And then Triple A wanted to be a cock sucking douche too. Wanted to lie, not give my dad a receipt, hold the car hostage. Ugh. i want things to go my way, but as of late, a lot of shit's been going sideways. Thank you Drake, for providing me with the perfect quote to describe my life's situation right now. I'm angry at Stan b/c he wasn't there for me. He didn't even tell me that he was going out. And I know if I did something like that, he'd flip. It's slightly unfair of him to do things like that. And I could've used him being there for my behalf. Son of a bitch. I'm just angry. I'm angry at the world b/c it seems like NOTHING is going my way, the cards are not looking to promising, the glass is half empty, whatever metaphor you wanna use, it's that.
That felt good. Now to some better news, I guess. I'm just a/b done planning the SECOND Valennersary trip !! Yay !! We're going to DisneyWorld. Yessss. Idk anybody who's been there. So I'm excited to go and experience it w/ Stan. We're going for six days. And Stan's gonna try to hook it up with a room at a Westin from his old coworker.We're hopefully gonna be staying here. It's looks amazing, and we'll prolly never have to leave our hotel for meals, which is good, since there are something like 17 on the grounds. And even if we stay in a small room, it'll be grand. The itinerary is even done. I broke it down day by day, and there maps that I can print out for each day with what we wanna do highlighted so we don't gotta wander around. I even marked w/h ones have FASTPASSES so we can grab those first. And our lunch stops are also on there. And thanks to my Sissy I can get a five day pass for HALF PRICE. Woot woot. So my trip will be cheaper than I originally thought. The only thing that's bothering me is the flights. There a lot of flight options, but I want the cheapest, with the best service. Southwest is cheapest, but they have horrible seating. But I like how bags fly free. But they don't really serve you food on the flights. Which sucks. I'll look more of this up later when I'm on my break.
Schooooooooool. I'm just not feeling it. Maybe I should just take online school. That would be better for me. I like being in the comfort of my own home. And I'll have more time to work or do whatever I wanna do. We'll see what happens. I gotta finish traffic school, since I'm on the subject of schooling. Get to it Jazminn.
I wish I could just whine to you and tell you that you can't always be cheap with things. I've been such a good girl and trying my hardest to get everything done. I should be rewarded with something of some sort, to my picking. I've been asking for a PROPER vehicle for the LONGEST time. And now after alla the troubles I've had with Putt Putt and the wagon, I'm stuck in this piece of shit Geo. I have no AC, no radio, the cigarette thingy doesn't even work so I can't even listen to my ipod, there is HELLA wind getting into that car, but not like a breeze. You can just hear it as you're driving in silence to wherever you are going. I can hear my mom "You should be grateful to even have a car, this and that, this and that, but NO I shouldn't. I should be grateful if I get something that doesn't make me feel like I'm the poorest person in the world. I'd be grateful if for once I got something that I wanted. I'd be grateful if I wasn't riding around in another bucket. But that's all I seem to get. I wish I had money stored or saved somewhere that I could just grab and buy another car, so that I wouldn't have to deal with this damn mess. Since this accident, there has been so much hatred. I'm taking alla my feelings out on everybody and I feel slightly bad. My mom doesn't wanna sue the bitch b/c she believes in karma and ect. But I'm just s'posed to let this go ? She made me ruin my chance of getting a decent car. Now Dad's off for a week and he's going to be even more determined to get me a car, but I know it's not going to be anything that I'd pick out for myself. And the CHP who was there is racist, so I know I'm gonna have to file a complaint against him. And since I'm pissed, I'm gonna sue his ass too. Maybe the whole damn CHP just b/c. And then Triple A wanted to be a cock sucking douche too. Wanted to lie, not give my dad a receipt, hold the car hostage. Ugh. i want things to go my way, but as of late, a lot of shit's been going sideways. Thank you Drake, for providing me with the perfect quote to describe my life's situation right now. I'm angry at Stan b/c he wasn't there for me. He didn't even tell me that he was going out. And I know if I did something like that, he'd flip. It's slightly unfair of him to do things like that. And I could've used him being there for my behalf. Son of a bitch. I'm just angry. I'm angry at the world b/c it seems like NOTHING is going my way, the cards are not looking to promising, the glass is half empty, whatever metaphor you wanna use, it's that.
That felt good. Now to some better news, I guess. I'm just a/b done planning the SECOND Valennersary trip !! Yay !! We're going to DisneyWorld. Yessss. Idk anybody who's been there. So I'm excited to go and experience it w/ Stan. We're going for six days. And Stan's gonna try to hook it up with a room at a Westin from his old coworker.We're hopefully gonna be staying here. It's looks amazing, and we'll prolly never have to leave our hotel for meals, which is good, since there are something like 17 on the grounds. And even if we stay in a small room, it'll be grand. The itinerary is even done. I broke it down day by day, and there maps that I can print out for each day with what we wanna do highlighted so we don't gotta wander around. I even marked w/h ones have FASTPASSES so we can grab those first. And our lunch stops are also on there. And thanks to my Sissy I can get a five day pass for HALF PRICE. Woot woot. So my trip will be cheaper than I originally thought. The only thing that's bothering me is the flights. There a lot of flight options, but I want the cheapest, with the best service. Southwest is cheapest, but they have horrible seating. But I like how bags fly free. But they don't really serve you food on the flights. Which sucks. I'll look more of this up later when I'm on my break.
Schooooooooool. I'm just not feeling it. Maybe I should just take online school. That would be better for me. I like being in the comfort of my own home. And I'll have more time to work or do whatever I wanna do. We'll see what happens. I gotta finish traffic school, since I'm on the subject of schooling. Get to it Jazminn.
Saturday, September 18
Makes moves
Accident
I gotta do a LOT for this shit. That stupid bitch. I didn't blog a/b it, but there's no need. There's a bunch of liars involved in this thing.
School
I'm almost at the point of giving up on Arch. This class is killing me. I can't drop though, cuz it's already past the date. I think from here on out, I'll just do exceptionally well, or at least my best. My night class.. those teachers need a reality check. I don't care a/b what you two did for a living. I need you to teach me how to get to a career. I don't need you to show 40 slides and expect me to stay awake. My attention span isn't all that great. I lose you at the fifth slide. I just tune you out. And you're not even teaching me anything. All you're saying is read the book. And to be honest, I haven't read anything b/c I don't think it'll make that much of a difference. This class along with arch makes me wanna switch careers. But I've already invested so much time in it, might as well go along with it.
Relationship
Lately, we haven't been spending as much time with each other. It's not exactly his fault, it's the fault of his job. It sucks and I'm taking it out on him. I know I should just be grateful for the time I do get to spend with him. But then he does things that makes it difficult. Like going back on his word. I told him how I felt, and it's reached a point of where now he needs to prove it to me.
I gotta do a LOT for this shit. That stupid bitch. I didn't blog a/b it, but there's no need. There's a bunch of liars involved in this thing.
School
I'm almost at the point of giving up on Arch. This class is killing me. I can't drop though, cuz it's already past the date. I think from here on out, I'll just do exceptionally well, or at least my best. My night class.. those teachers need a reality check. I don't care a/b what you two did for a living. I need you to teach me how to get to a career. I don't need you to show 40 slides and expect me to stay awake. My attention span isn't all that great. I lose you at the fifth slide. I just tune you out. And you're not even teaching me anything. All you're saying is read the book. And to be honest, I haven't read anything b/c I don't think it'll make that much of a difference. This class along with arch makes me wanna switch careers. But I've already invested so much time in it, might as well go along with it.
Relationship
Lately, we haven't been spending as much time with each other. It's not exactly his fault, it's the fault of his job. It sucks and I'm taking it out on him. I know I should just be grateful for the time I do get to spend with him. But then he does things that makes it difficult. Like going back on his word. I told him how I felt, and it's reached a point of where now he needs to prove it to me.
Friday, September 10
Hip, hip, HOORAY !
School
I'm doing better in Geo. I'm proud of myself. I'm hella happy. And now I'm starting to get slightly lazy in Bio. I guess I just realized that I have a lot of common sense and a lot of people don't use theirs in that class. It's kinna frustrating. Well, I gotta step up a bit more in Arch. I'm slippin', and it's not gonna be pretty in the future. Just keep it up. You don't want an a, you just wanna pass.
Relationship
I think thing have gotten better. We'll see next week when I see him again. For more than just 18 hrs. I disliked this past week b/c hella shit happened and it caused tension. Tension is bad. But we're moving on.
I'm doing better in Geo. I'm proud of myself. I'm hella happy. And now I'm starting to get slightly lazy in Bio. I guess I just realized that I have a lot of common sense and a lot of people don't use theirs in that class. It's kinna frustrating. Well, I gotta step up a bit more in Arch. I'm slippin', and it's not gonna be pretty in the future. Just keep it up. You don't want an a, you just wanna pass.
Relationship
I think thing have gotten better. We'll see next week when I see him again. For more than just 18 hrs. I disliked this past week b/c hella shit happened and it caused tension. Tension is bad. But we're moving on.
Saturday, September 4
Ugh.
Relationship
I should've known that writing alla that good stuff a/b my relationship would've jinxed it. I should've known that I was putting alla the good times in jeopardy. And I did. Now we're fighting over stupid stuff. Well, it really isn't stupid. I ranted about it for a good hour to Katy last night over everything. And I felt better after. But the thing is if I could blab on for an hour a/b that for an hour, I could write an essay a/b it here. Mainly, I need more attention. Not to say I don't get lots of attention, but I don't get lots of individual attention. It sucks. We argued, and it seemed like it was all for nothing. Like, a waste of time since he wouldn't be able to fix it this weekend since he wanted to spend time with his family, ect. Now he works. I feel bad b/c he only had one day off, but I'm kinna happy b/c I'm selfish and I feel like if I can't have him, nobody else can. He's transferred stations to his probation station. I like how that rhymes, ahahah. Anyway, he'll be there for a year. Right now he's on days, but it's on temporary for around two weeks. Then he gets a schedule change. It can't get worse than what he has now, so hopefully it'll be okay.
School
I gotta get my shit together in geo. I keep getting 70s on quizzes. I gotta do better than that. Maybe study harder? I really don't know. I'm also kinna irked over this design class. The teachers are garbage. Like, seriously. They don't work well together. They're not cohesive as a unit. There. I said it. They each give a lecture a/b something useless. And then it doesn't make sense. I don't see why both of them teach together. They don't make it clear. One says something and the other just goes against it. It makes the students go back and do a double take and wonder wtf just happened? The only class I really like is Bio. I feel comfortable in that class. I like that class and the people I sit with. I should start my arch hw, since I know it'll be difficult for me. I have to work on drawing figures, but Idk how I'm gonna do it since I don't have a drafting table. Or a regular table.
Work
Idk what happened. I need to find something. Soon. The end.
I should've known that writing alla that good stuff a/b my relationship would've jinxed it. I should've known that I was putting alla the good times in jeopardy. And I did. Now we're fighting over stupid stuff. Well, it really isn't stupid. I ranted about it for a good hour to Katy last night over everything. And I felt better after. But the thing is if I could blab on for an hour a/b that for an hour, I could write an essay a/b it here. Mainly, I need more attention. Not to say I don't get lots of attention, but I don't get lots of individual attention. It sucks. We argued, and it seemed like it was all for nothing. Like, a waste of time since he wouldn't be able to fix it this weekend since he wanted to spend time with his family, ect. Now he works. I feel bad b/c he only had one day off, but I'm kinna happy b/c I'm selfish and I feel like if I can't have him, nobody else can. He's transferred stations to his probation station. I like how that rhymes, ahahah. Anyway, he'll be there for a year. Right now he's on days, but it's on temporary for around two weeks. Then he gets a schedule change. It can't get worse than what he has now, so hopefully it'll be okay.
School
I gotta get my shit together in geo. I keep getting 70s on quizzes. I gotta do better than that. Maybe study harder? I really don't know. I'm also kinna irked over this design class. The teachers are garbage. Like, seriously. They don't work well together. They're not cohesive as a unit. There. I said it. They each give a lecture a/b something useless. And then it doesn't make sense. I don't see why both of them teach together. They don't make it clear. One says something and the other just goes against it. It makes the students go back and do a double take and wonder wtf just happened? The only class I really like is Bio. I feel comfortable in that class. I like that class and the people I sit with. I should start my arch hw, since I know it'll be difficult for me. I have to work on drawing figures, but Idk how I'm gonna do it since I don't have a drafting table. Or a regular table.
Work
Idk what happened. I need to find something. Soon. The end.
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