SKB

It's no secret that I'm going out with a pretty amazing guy. It's no secret that our relationship is VERY nontraditional. Of course we fight and bicker, but that's expected. While talking to a random guy at Disneyworld he said that at the 3 year mark, you get stuck in a rut. And I've been feeling it. It's the same routine, and I'm not one for routine. That's why I picked a career that I can manage and go outta my way to change up. I guess I'm just expecting him to step up to the plate. The thing is he's not. And it's slightly frustrating me. It's no secret that I need a lot of attention. Hell, the way me and Stan met was cuz I needed attention. Then he expects me to just be okay with all of the choices that he's made when he knows that with those choices I'm losing time with him. I'm starting to be able to accept it at least. It still hurts. I don't like not being able to have the amount of time I feel like I deserve. I don't like not being number one. I don't like making him feel like he needs to chose b/w his work, family, and me. But I think he needs to realize that in the end, he'll have to come home to me, so he should start making me happy. But all on that same note, all of this is coming from the fact that right now he's working OT when it's normally our time together. I guess he needs it, but I really don't care. I need things that sometimes he just doesn't provide. Now, alla this is stemming from the fact that I REALLY wanted to talk to Stan about something.. his ways.. but I couldn't cuz of his choice to work OT. I hate holding stuff in. I decided that since we weren't gonna have that much time together I didn't wanna ruin it by putting a damper on it by bringing alla this up. So I had to hold it in and now I gotta wait until next week to get alla this off of my chest.

On the work note.. I finished my first project. I'm done. I wiped my hands clean of it. I sent it out and now I'm waiting for a response. It was the weirdest thing. I'm glad it's done, but I'm kind of sad that it's over. Hmm.. I'm waiting for Mikey. He's like been MIA. I need that shit now. I can go and make them myself at like Office Depot if he wants to keep playing games. I'll give him a week and see what happens.

I should start my hw. After I find something I can munch on for breakfast. Then after that I'll prolly sleep. I haven't had much lately.