Getting over it.

There's no point in being upset anymore, at least when it comes to the relationship that me and Stan have. He's not going to change any time soon, and we only get each other one day a week, so I should make the most of what little time we do have together.

Yesterday was the first day I actually got to see the condo. Oh boy, a lot needs to be done. He wants to do it his way, and take months of work. If I had it my way, it'd be done in a few weeks. Just tear out the kitchen, replace it first. Then do the ceilings (but he'll prolly keep the popcorn ceilings), then paint. Lastly floors, the decorate. The end. I honestly don't know what he's thinking when he says it needs to take him alla this time. But whatever. He can take as long as he wants. I hate when people doubt me, but whatever. It's prolly a family thing. I know what needs to be bought for the place, and I have alla measurements. So.. we'll see what happens

I thought today was gonna be the first day of renos, but it'll be next weekend. That kinna sucks, but whatever. I'm ready to just go back to bed then. Stan is gonna try to stop by for a bit later on, and I'm not really all that concerned. He says some things, but sometimes it doesn't happen. My stomach is grumbling, I should prolly eat. Poptarts ftw. And I need to take s'more medicines. And finish homework. I cleaned up a bit in my room. I feel proud of myself. Taking initiative and all. Um, I guess that's all that I have for today.

2m is gonna be blah. I'm getting tired of school. I will do this damn art project if it kills me though. I just gotta talk to dad to get s'more paint. It'll be easier if I don't have to mix. Um, what else is there to say ? I just applied for a bunch of jobs. Maybe something will come outta it this time, but I'm not really hoping on it. Time to eat, medicate, and sleep.

I just gotta put out there, that you can NOT say that you haven't neglected me. That is a bold face lie. That seriously put a wtf look on my face and really made me just get over being upset at you. If you were really changing and whatever else, you would've taken ownership and say well I have in the past. But now, it's whatever. It kinna sucks that you don't even see it as such. I swear, if I put in as much as you do into our relationship, we wouldn't even have a relationship. I'm gonna neglect you for hours on end. I'm gonna say I'm spending time with family so that excuses me not talking to you. But I'm going to keep doing. I'm going to let it build up. Then I want you to go back and tell me what it is like. To feel like you're not as important as alla these other things.