I think I'm done.

I'm done going out with people who aren't grateful. I was HIGHLY upset when Katy didn't want to come. Her period came, understandable, but I wanted to dance and drink. Not just dance. She could've sat down and just been DD. I needed her. Anyway, Jess showed up, went to Slim's and never came back. I was disappointed with her b/c she should've just stayed. I got chocolate wasted and had no way home. If she was there, I would've had her drive me to her house. Last night was just a really big disappointment. I'm so sad at the way things turned out. It's whatever, cuz I'm done.

Anyway, tonight, I'm going to catch a movie. Hopefully this is fun.

Blah blah blah

I've been going out a lot lately. And I think I say that like before every post now. Anyway, yesterday I went out with Jess, and we were in the Taraval area at a bar. I really wish that people didn't have $20 min for credit cards. That's irking. It makes you buy hella drinks when you don't even want to. Edgar was there.. there's no need to say what happened. Manda and her friend Teresa showed up. I was tired that night and I just had to force myself to stay awake. Blah blah blah.

I surprised visited Dessa. It was only s'posed to be a few minutes, but I stayed for awhile. I love our conversations. The shit we talk about is unbelievably funny.

2m I'm going out with my girls. Daniella, Katy, and Jess. It's gonna be super fun. Icon, Mist, or Manor West. I kinna wanna do Mist cuz they're having a theme. We'll see. I'll talk to Jess cuz she knows alla stuff. Katy will be alla our DD. She prolly isn't gonna drink heavily. We'll see what happens.

I'm saving for trips and traveling now. Traveling and wedding. I think the wedding will be $5,000-$10,000. With that, saving should be easy. Just start putting money into the savings account and never touching it. Argh.

Shoppinggg

So, yesterday I went shopping with Dessa. It was fun. I only bought shirts, kinna weird, right? So, I'm gonna get rid of the number of shirts I bought plus two to keep my closet clean. Anyway, it was fun chillin' with her. She's a chill person. I feel so comfortable around her, and we can talk about anything.

I feel a big rant coming on.. and I don't have the energy to do it. I hope I get to talk to Stan soon, b/c I really don't think it's fair the way our relationship is. It's nowhere near 50/50. The way it should be.

I'm s'posed to be going to the pharmacy today, but I'm feeling ultra omega lazy. It might just have to wait until 2m morning. I must finish this assignment due 2m, cuz I know I want have the energy to finish it 2m, if I'm going to be seeing Stan.

I like Stan's new schedule. It makes the week seems shorter, imo. I wonder if he feels the same way.

Friends are hella hard to find, and I'm happy that I'm able to have such a solid set of girls with me. I love them.

It's hooooooommmmeeeework time.

LBO Bonding!!!

I'm so happy that me and Daniella are friends again. Last night, we went out to Club Six to watch Sam perform. It was such a fun time. Lemon drops can make any girl go wild. Lemme back track. I was like half way dressed, and then Daniella sends me a text like I can't go cuz my parents won't give me the car, and I was like HELL NO. I'll go get you. I'm not a/b to be all undressed or whatever just cuz of that. So I get her, and we get there super early (surprisingly b/c we managed to get a wee bit lost) and so we just sat outside in my car until they opened. Finally inside, I saw Sam.. and yes a surge of emotions ran through me. That girl has been there for me since literally day one, since almost as I long as I have memories, Sam has been in them. And she looked good. Real cute. Her little baby face is hella adorable. Alla hugs.. anyway, getting sidetracked. Me and lbo were talking over our drinks waiting for Sam to perform and this guy across from us was PASSED out. It was soo awkward. And he was with these two other guys that were trying so hard to deny that he wasn't with them. I wasn't judging. I was hella tired as well, though Idt I could've fallen asleep there. So this one guy goes up and performs and whatever else. I didn't understand him, and didn't really try. I wasn't there for him, I was there for Sam. From what I remember, he wasn't that good. He just said a lotta shit that I didn't really care a/b. Then Sam finally performs. YAY! My homegirl KILLED it. She was hella good. And I somehow knew alla words to her songs. I was feeling EVERY one. Um, I need her songs, so I'm gonna be on a major music stalking spree to find them. "She made everyone in that place feel like a lesbian." Words of my lbo. And I believe it was true. Alla girls that were there in my opinion were there for her. The MC said that she "has more chicks that Justin Beiber." And that was sick. Her performance was good. She had the whole crowd feeling it.

Driving kinna tipsy though, not the best thing. It was super scary. Esp when I dropped lbo off at this bar. There were HELLA cops outside and I was like I'm screwed, I'm busted. But they just were telling us that the bar was at capacity and they weren't letting anybody else in. Luckily lbo got with Josh and everything was all good. I made it home w/o a prollem, and instantly ko'ed.

I missed her. I really did. I can honestly say I don't have a lot of friends. I don't trust people with my life story. And when she walked outta my life, I was devastated. I decided it'd be best to just give her space. And in the end it all worked out. Even when we don't see each other for hella long, it's like nothing ever changed. I love that about her, about us. We're some solid ass friends.

Now today, I gotta do this assignment, make a call to Chevy's (they are PLAYING with my emotions) to hopefully get this last interview, take Joi to the hair shop, and hang out with Katy tonight. Idk if lbo will be coming, but we'll see. I hope tonight with Katy is just as fun. She missed a HELL of a show. But maybe we'll do something low key. Like eat and a movie. Time to get rollin' on this day stuff.

Get it out.

Omgah, so Girl's Night Out was fun, but then hella drama came outta it. Like, Cassie and her friend were waiting on Nettie to come before they danced. I really don't see how that made sense, but I let it go, cuz I wasn't gonna let somebody ruin my night. Nettie never came, they never danced, they basically just stood along the wall for a good 30 mins., went to go look for Nettie, then came back and were like I'm not staying cuz I'm not feeling the music. Mmkay, we got there DUMB early, so of course it was dead. There were 2 different DJ's on the main floor, so yes, some songs were repeated, but is that a reason to really just go? Anyway, they just left. I'm glad I drove cuz Dessa was gonna get a ride home from them. Idk what their prollem was, but wherever that stick was it needed to be taken out. So the next day, Christine was talking hella shit a/b Dessa. And then she wanted to put my name in her mouth. I don't know you, so don't talk about me. Also, don't try to talk a/b somebody who is better off than you are. Imo, that just doesn't make any sense. Whatever. so then I read something on Twitter like SFPD cops are pigs. Um, I guess you forgot that my boyfriend was a cop. I guess you forgot that I'm in love with him and will defend anything he does or says. I guess all in all, people are just really fake. I'm not gonna deal with the two faced bitchiness. I'm over alla drama. That's hella high school, and I'm trynna finish college.

On to some good news, I might have a good job soon. Chevy's in South City. We'll see. Final interview is 2m. I hope I get it. I'm anxious as hell.

I'm gonna walk Vasiliy and get ready for my date tonight. Woot woot.

Going out

I've been going out a lot lately (as I think I've previously stated) and it's nice. It's better than staying home all day, cuz I have been doing that a lot lately. Now I'm  kinna regretting it. It's causing a lot of tension, and through it all it makes me miss SKB. He's my bunny, my boyfriend, the loml. And now I'm just tired of it all. But I'm going out again 2m. Idk how I feel a/b it. It's a girls night out thing with Cassie and Dessa, along with some of their friends. I'm a very nice person, but some people just instantly rub me the wrong way. And now I'm gonnna have to put on my polite face. And we're gonna be drinking, so I might not even be okay w/ alla this. Ugh. I hope I don't gotta punch a bitch. I'm hoping to have a really nice time 2m night. No drama. We'll see.

A letter to a lost loved one

So, there have been prollems in this relationship. I know that since we have a past that most friendships don't have. I guess it's true when they say, you can't be friends with an ex. Anyway, I've cared about you for along time. For almost as long as I've known my bestest friends. And for alla this to happen. Yes, I did leave you. But not for the reasons you think. It was late. I needed to rush to get Vasiliy. I thought leaving would be a way to make you hurry. You're right, I didn't have to come back to get you, but I care, so I did. I know you're a grown man and more than capable of getting home on your own. And for alla this to go down the way it did, I guess everyone's true colors are really showing. I really wish that there were other things I could say to you that would possibly get through to you to make this all just go away, but another part of me is a bit glad that it's over. This relationship has brought strain to my other relationships. I've had to lie to many people, I've had to put up a front. It's sad, but it's the path I chose, as to not hurt feelings. In the end, I get hurt anyway. You were s'posed to be there for me. To not hurt me. And in the end, we ended up hurting each other. Kinna sad that our friendship had to end this way.