Omgah, I don't know where to begin with this. Not at all. Like, so much random stuff happened.

Goodbye SKB. We are no longer on friends terms. I don't know why any of that happened. It makes me sad thinking about it. But it reached a point where I was the only one trying. A relationship can't work if it's only based on one person trying. That's not compromising, it's giving in. And I was sick of giving in. So I guess that just ended that. I can't even say I have feelings for him. The last thing he said was "I don't think I appreciate you enough." Those words are stinging. Even worse than "I'm only on time to important things." I don't think he realizes how badly he's hurt me. And I guess he doesn't really care. There's nothing left for me to do, I've exhausted all my options. Maybe when he's ready he'll come back around.

Now for some good news.
Yesterday was HELLA fun. I saw my lbo and Beyah. Beyah is so freaking cute. Say gracias, caca. Then I raced over to pick up Jess and go to Jeff's for nightlife at the Academy of Sciences. On the way there, we ate gyros. Hella yummy though. Walked a little ways as we ate, chatted. I almost died walking on the rocks that were over there. Get in line, and there's this security guard who's super nice who tries to holla. I flirted back. He offered to buy me a drink, but we left too early. Oh, got the most awesomest sweatshirt. Revolve in Peace Pluto. Yes, b/c I'm such a nerd. So we exchanged numbers. Then it was back to Jeff's until it was time to hit up Holy Cow. Yummy ass tea though. Minus whent he teabag kept hitting me in the face when we were finishing the tea. Then we decided to roll out. Holy Cow this time was PERFECT. Well, in the sense of dancing without being angry at anybody. I saw this cute guy, Jess made me dance with him. Lasted all of six songs. And then.. I really don't even know. Ahahahah. I had two drinks at Nightlife, and a drink there. I can say there was a connection. Hmm. Anyway, turns out this guy is hella chill. As Jess says, just your type. Ahahaha. Random. Hopefully he's coming out tonight with us. Oh, there was drama at Holy Cow. Like a fight drama. So bad. That fight was intense. Ahahaah.

Now I should get ready for tonight. Gonna be a boxer. Of sorts. Meaning I'm wearing a sports bra and some booty shorts. Teehee.

Dear Mother

You shouldn't work nights, ever again because it turns you in to a super bitch. And nobody likes a super bitch. It's annoying. It makes me dislike you. You work night one day, and then you're home the next two days, sleep. Saying working nights throws off your sleeping schedule. I think that you saying that is the biggest crock of shit ever. It's annoying. And last night was the fucking straw that broke the camel's back. I bring you dinner, I didn't get paid back, not even a thank you. And then you and Joi decide to fight and BOTH of you continuously kick me in the back. And I blow up, as expected, but it's my fault, right? Like how is that even fair? You're such a dumb broad in that case. And you wonder why I'm never home. I can't stand the fights that Joi has with everybody. I'm sick of not having space for me to do anything. I'm sick of everybody bitching. I really just need one job. One thing to do.

Ketch-up?

This is personal, but alla way.

It sucks fighting with a friend. I can't, won't go in to details. But it's killing me. I need you to take as much time as you need to figure you out. I can't do what was happening in the past before. I can no longer baby you, force you to speak. I also do not want to make you do things that you don't want to do. There isn't much left to say about that situation. I love you. I will always be your friend. But I won't tolerate you being so unsure of yourself. You're an adult. We're adults.

My friends and I have such different personalities. There's the passive one, the assertive one, and then me, the aggressive one. How in the world does that happen? We compliment each other so well though. I mean, with me wanting it all and not afraid to go get it, it's nice to have a friend to tell me to calm down and to let other people approach me. It's nice to have a friend that's more shy and break them out of their shell.

This has been on my mind since Sunday night? Or was it Monday? Whatever. It's weighing heavily on my heart and soul. It's making me slightly emotional.

I'm gonna release these feelings tonight on somebody. Good or bad, whatever.

Different note, my mother has been on my case. Omgah, Jazminn do this, Jazminn do that. I'm getting annoyed each and every time she says my name. Why must I wake up at the crack of dawn to take Joi to school? What will happen when I move out? Joi will have to find her own way. I'm going to start to just say I had a sip. I'm testing the waters out tonight by not really coming home. I'll prolly crash out somewhere tonight. We'll see what happens.

I need to think of something to do for Halloween. I know there are parties Friday and Saturday. I can do both. Be HARDCORE. ahhaahah. I'm wondering if the costume idea should change. Ahh, so many random things.

By the mother fucking way, that guy has two weeks.

Rest in peace

So, my uncle died. I'm really sad. It's hard losing a family member. My family (though however dysfunctional we may be) is very close. We know to protect our own. To put nothing above one another. He wasn't the matriarch uncle, or one that I hung out with a lot, but I will miss him. It's sad to see a love one go to such a very ugly disease. Stupid cancer. It's so ugly. I'm in a sort of funk from the other day as well. I just need to let so much out, but there isn't a need to rant here. I'll talk it out in person. I have family, friends. I even have my dog who doesn't like to sit still for very long calming down and listening.

To my Uncle Junior, I love you.

My life

I think the last time I posted was when Stan and I broke up. I know, such a sad story. I figured that this is not HIS blog, so I can claim it. This is me being me without having to worry about other people or whatever.
What has been new since then?

Nothing really. I'm done with AI. Like I'm so over it. I really don't like their concept. I might go to AAU online or something. We'll see, they have an open house on the 15th.
I quit the job at Magic Princess. Ehh, not for me, and I really don't care. I have a ton of stuff though.

Mainly, I'm doing this to remind myself that I'm amazing. That even though the ONE guy that had me at rock bottom and my highest of highs took it all away for a brief second, that I can remain the amazing girl I am. I'm done grieving over the loss of my relationship. There was anything I did that was wrong. There isn't anything I can do to get it back. So in the end, I have to take this with stride.

On a good note, there are some perspectives. It's good to remember that there are other fish in the sea, even if the one fish you want is temporarily in a fish tank. Just gotta keep that in mind. Remember that Jazminn. All of this. You are awesome, and you will be happy in the end. If you're not, it's not the end.