2010

Dearest 2010,

You have been good to me. We've had our ups and our downs, but I think you were a very promising year. I love to thank you for the opportunity for letting me put my stutter out there on the radio (b/c in doing so, I've made good friends) for letting me start school online (b/c I needed to stop procrastinating at City) for giving me the blessing of Vasiliy (since he has become a huge part of my life) for letting me and Stan continue our relationship (even though things are NOT going well for us) and of course for keeping my family together (though I'd rather not be here with them.) I do want to question why you haven't given me a better job, or let me crash my mother's car, have a faulty radiator, let the computer downstairs fail, allow my parents to make me feel like trash, take time away from me and boyfriend (b/c we all know how much we need it), etc. I guess I can't really complain, since nothing really traumatic has happened to me. Looking back, overall you have been lovely to me. I won't miss you. I'm looking forward to 2011 and being 21.

2011, I hope you bring me tons of things that I've been asking for. Like what?
-I want things between me and Stan to change, if they ever will. We kinna had a really long talk last night, and we both realized that no matter what we do, things won't change between us since we can't do what the other wants. And with that being said, we might just be unhappy for a very long time. I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be unhappy with him, but I guess it's worth it.
-I want my parents to realize what they say and do affects me negatively. I guess it's up to me to bring it to their attention, but I'm really unsure of how they're going to react. I don't want them to flip the script and bring it on me for being so sensitive. And since I'm on the talk, I wanna bring up the sub category of Joi. She needs a major attitude adjustment b/c it makes me frustrated how she treats me. I hold back how much I wanna punch her in the face alla time.
-I want a job. Something that will get me outta the house. I should keep looking now. I really don't want something like a plain customer service retail, but I guess I might just have to do it. Ugh, sigh.
-I also need a fun fitness thing to do. I wanna work out, but just going to to the gym will be boring. Maybe a hip hop class or something. Hmm..

We'll see what happens.